Guardian
by Farringtongirl
Summary: Post & AU beyond Maelstrom. As Lee attempts to build Baltar's defense, he's pulled into a vortex of mystery surrounding the final five and the 'Guardian' foretold by the scriptures. Everything is about to change. Full Cast but mainly Lee & some LK.
1. Chapter 1

Spoilers- Speculation on some storyline rumors for 2nd half S3

Disclaimers-I don't own these characters, Ron Moore does

**Chapter One: The Best Defense**

"Tell me more about the final five."

"I've already told you everything I know."

"Which is next to nothing, Doc. A prophesy spouted by a baseship hybrid foretold that the identities of the Final Five would be revealed by the Eye of Jupiter. Once in the temple this revelation incited madness in the 'chosen one', a Cylon model three. That's not very helpful. Did you happen to learn the identities of any of the final five before she downloaded?"

Gaius's voice drawls with condescension, "No, Major Adama, I did not."

"I'm not a Major anymore." A disgruntled sigh, gives way to an irritated tone, "I cast aside my military career to defend you, becoming a pariah in the process."

"I don't recall asking you…"

"No one, and I do mean **no one**, was going to represent you fairly. I'm here because I believe in the judicial system created by our forefathers….because I believe that humanity shouldn't, and probably won't, survive without that integrity. So if it's not too much to ask, how about you help me come up with some convincing arguments for your continued existence?"

"So you don't believe I'm innocent?"

"No." It's not so much a response as a scoff. "But colonial law mandates that every citizen is entitled to a fair trial and, in times past, you've proven a valuable resource. Just consider yourself lucky that my personal opinion of you is irrelevant."

"I beg to differ. Your poor opinion of me is the exact reason that I respect you council."

"Really?"

"Really. The key to winning any argument is to know how your opponent thinks. You hate me as they do, maybe more so, which makes your input invaluable to my defense."

"Hmm. Alright then, convince me."

"A crime is not merely composed of an action in and of itself, but rather, the sum of the deed **and** the intent to do harm. I've confessed to my role in the genocide, but I was a pawn without intent."

"I may be able to argue that position with the original attack on the colonies, but it'll be a hard sell. Especially given the events of New Caprica and your involvement with the Cylon regime."

"Roslin issued a general pardon for those caught in the moral cross-fire of New Caprica, did she not?"

"She issued that to the fleet at a time when you weren't a part of it, which means you're not eligible. You'll be called to answer for your crimes of collaboration on New Caprica and who knows what they'll levy against you from your time on the baseship. What will you say in your defense?"

"I loved her. Caprica. And if love can exist between human & Cylon, then it's not illogical to believe that we could peacefully coexist. The Cylon vision of New Caprica was not baseless."

"Even if I believed you, which I don't…"

"There's evidence aboard this very ship to support my theory, even if you don't believe in my personal experience. Helo and Sharon…they not only love one another but that love produced a child, a melding of our species. As a scientist, that alone tells me that our enemy is more human that we care to believe…that this war is not between man and machine but a war between two peoples…two cultures. I was seduced by the idea that we could find common ground."

"In other words, love made you blind, is that it? That's the angle you want me to play?"

"It's a concept I need you to understand, because if I can persuade you, then swaying a jury should be easy."

"And how do you intend to do that?"

"By putting it in terms you, and they, can relate to…by painting the love of a Cylon in personal colors."

"I'm not following."

"It's been nearly two months now, hasn't it? Since Kara died."

"Be very careful Doctor" his tone a warning in and of itself.

"When she died, can you honestly tell me, that you didn't wish for just a moment that she was a Cylon…that she would come back to you?"

"Kara died a hero. I won't have you sully her memory…"

"I'm not trying to rub salt into the wound, but in order to convince a jury, it is imperative that you understand…that we personalize it so 'they' understand my motivations. So I'm asking you: If Kara returned, would love her despite knowing she was a Cylon?"

The silence weighs heavy for almost a full minute.

"You would. I can see it in your eyes. In the way you've changed your life since her death."

"Enough."

"Love is not a force that can be controlled. It commands us. My capacity for logic and reason was out matched by an emotion that I put no faith in. I was caught unawares and I found myself defenseless."

"You're full of shit."

"And you never answered the question. Would you still love her?"

"I've gotta give you credit, Doc…it's a mind-frak of a defense strategy. You truly are a genius. But you're also a bastard!"

"Perhaps so, but at least I have a plan."

"Always be prepared…"

Lee's voices cuts across itself, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Dee calmly hits the stop button on the recorder and turns to face her husband.

"Listening. It's what I do, Lee. I listen." She pops the tape out and places it gently on the desktop. "I thought it might be nice to hear the sound of your voice without the possibility of us fighting."

"Dee these are recordings of confidential briefings in preparation for the most important trial in human history. My Gods Dee, do you realize that if anyone found out that you were listening to this that Baltar could call for a mistrial?"

"That would be great for you wouldn't it? I mean your client would get off…or at the very least, it'd buy him more time."

Lee rubs his temples, "Why are you here Dee? You left a month ago without any explanation and you've been avoiding me ever since. Now suddenly today I find you riffling through my case files. Obviously you're not here to address the breakdown of communication and trust in our marriage, because if so…you're going about it the wrong way. So I'll ask again, why are you here?"

"I came to bring you these." She hands him a neat pile of papers stapled at the top corner.

"Divorce papers?" He's only slightly shocked and mildly saddened. "Huh, I guess I was wrong. You are here to discuss the failings of our marriage."

"I'm tired of the looks and whispers. If it's not Baltar's trial, it's your deserting the military, or…"

There's no bitterness in his voice, just weary resignation when he interrupts, "So you were proud to be my wife when I was a hero and you're ditching me now that I'm reviled is that it?"

"I fell in love with Lee 'Apollo' Adama and that man no longer exists."

"No, you fell in love with Apollo and now you're just disappointed that Lee Adama isn't enough." Lee shakes his head, "I'm sorry I couldn't be that man Dee. I loved the idea of him too…the perfect son, the model soldier, the strong leader, and the loving husband. I know I've come up short on a lot of those counts, especially the last one. But Apollo was never really who I was, and I'm tired of pretending to be something I'm not."

"No, you stopped trying the day she died. The Cylons were able to kill Starbuck and Apollo in one fell swoop."

"This isn't about Kara." Lee sighs with exasperation, willing her to understand, "It's not that I can't be that man anymore Dee; it's that I never was to begin with! This is about us, about our life, and our marriage. You're the one asking for the divorce…you're the one who's been pulling back…pushing away…what do you want, Dee? Just tell me."

"I want you to answer the question?" His brow crinkles in confusion and she turns to stare at the tape on his desk, "Would you still love her?"

Looking in her eyes, he knows that his answer will make no difference to the state of their marriage, it's over regardless. "Yes." She smiles at him softly, perhaps as a sign of respect for his honesty. He turns to his desk and quickly signs the papers dissolving their union. Lee hands them back to her with a gentle kiss of apology.

She smiles thoughtfully but doesn't say goodbye when she leaves.

**Author's Note:** I'm used to writing strictly romantic fluff, but I'm taking a stab at drama and mystery. There will eventually be a drop of romance and a naughty smut chapter, but I'll try to stay on task. Reviews are sincerely appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Surveillance**

"The scriptures mention a key figure that will help the lost tribe navigate the pattern of destiny. I've consulted with members of the holy order and they think that this 'Guardian' may be some kind of seer."

"Is it you?" He's only half joking, but stranger things have happened. She sends him the teacher stare for that question, the one that says 'pipe down and be serious'. Bill shrugs without apology, "It's a valid question. I mean, you're not the 'dying leader' anymore, so who's to say the gods didn't put you on double duty?" The last remark he sends with a conspiratorial wink.

She tilts her head down to look at the scriptures, seeking their insight and hiding the flush on her cheeks in the process. "Much of the text surrounding this figure is written in parable form which is making it difficult to interpret. Not to mention, I get the nasty suspicion that some of the priests and priestess's are more interested in drawing correlations to themselves, than in actually finding the true Guardian."

"Is it possible it's one of them?"

"We can't rule anyone out at this stage."

"But your gut is telling you otherwise?"

Her smile is coy, "You know Bill, I think you're beginning to read me just a little too well." His laughter turns her smile genuine, but it fades as she continues, "If they really knew what it was to have the fate of the rest of humanity on their shoulders, they wouldn't dream of inviting the burden in."

He nods in understanding; they share a kinship of responsibility that few others can fathom. It's a frustrating conundrum that bonds them together as leaders, and in so doing, forbids any personal intimacy. The later was never a problem, until New Caprica. Ever since, William Adama has to consciously focus his attention to mind the boundaries reset by the second Exodus. Bill and Laura are back to being Admiral Adama and President Roslin. Even so, he can't help but notice that she looks as exhausted as he feels.

The pleasant silence is broken as the phone rings. She lets it ring three times before picking up, "This is President Roslin."

"Madame President, I'm sorry to interrupt you but I really need a moment of your time."

"Not at all Tom," she cocks her head at Bill and can't help but notice his slight scowl at the mention of her Vice President. "I was just finishing up a meeting with Admiral Adama can I call you back in 10 minutes?"

"Actually, I'm glad I caught you together, it will make things a lot simpler. Are you alone?"

Bill can't hear what Zarek is saying, but whatever it is has put a curious and slightly unnerved look onto Laura's face when she replies, "Yes, would you like me to put you on speaker?"

"Actually, I'd prefer if the Admiral could pick up a second line…I don't want to discuss this in the open."

Laura can feel the small hairs on the back of her neck rearing in anticipation and she indicates to Bill to pick up the second receiver, which he does. "Alright Tom, we're listening."

"It's come to my attention that there's a cylon agent aboard the Rising Star." There's a long pause and the silence speaks the unasked question, "I believe we've identified one of the Final Five cylon models."

"Are you sure?" her voice is breathy.

"That's actually why I wanted to speak with Admiral Adama."

"The military will investigate this lead…"

"NO! Believe me when I tell you, the fewer people from Galactica who know about this, the better. Right now, Sam is keeping on eye on the suspect, but we need better comm's surveillance to confirm their identity. I know your son's wife started out as a communications officer, I wanted to know if we could trust her to handle this, discretely."

William Adama can't help but flinch a little at the mention of Lee and Dee's marriage, but he quickly regroups, "Lt. Dualla will be on the next shuttle to the Rising Star."

"Thank you. Have her report to Suite C42 where we'll debrief and I'll outline her role for monitoring the subject."

"I don't like the idea of sending one of my people into this blind. Who exactly is the suspected cylon?"

"Admiral, I really don't want to be responsible for causing undue stress if I'm wrong. Nor do I want to risk talking about the specifics over the wireless. I think it best if we meet tomorrow afternoon to review the footage and discuss our next steps in person."

Bill gives a slight nod of approval and Laura answers for them both, "Agreed."

"There is one other person that I feel we should invite tomorrow, but you're not going to like it."

A twisting sensation in Bill's gut tells him the answer before he asks, "Who?"

"Your son."

"What purpose would Major…" Laura catches her mistake, but not quickly enough to prevent a flash of powerful emotions from crossing Bill's eyes, "…would Lee's presence serve?"

"Lee Adama probably knows more about the Final Five Cylons than any other person, aside from Baltar himself. And I certainly trust him a lot more than I do Gauis Baltar."

"I can't promise that my son will agree to attend."

"Then make it an order."

Bill grits his teeth; Zarek is deliberately pushing his buttons. "You know damn well that he abandoned the military to…"

"Ensure that there's some semblance of justice left in our lives. It's hardly an ideal to condemn. However, as a law abiding citizen, we all know that Lee won't refuse a Presidential order."

Laura sucks in a sharp breathe. She doesn't like the idea of coming between the Adama men again, but this is too important to allow their personal issues to get in the way. "I'll talk to him."

"Good. Let's say 16:00 tomorrow afternoon on the Astral Queen. I've still got a lot of pull with the captain and I can ensure our privacy."

"Galactica is a more secure location."

"I recognize that Admiral, but I'm going to ask that you respect my judgment on this when I tell you that we don't want to be reviewing this issue onboard Galactica."

She locks eyes with Bill and he conveys his tacit acceptance with a slight nod, "We'll be there."

**Authors Note:** Thank you to the reviewers from Chapter 1. I got such great feedback about the Lee/Baltar interaction and I was honestly very worried about that, as I've never really written Baltar before. I'm very interested on feedback for this chapter as I'm trying to strengthen my other character voices (Lee & Kara being my standards)...any constructive comments are appreciated.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

When Laura approached him yesterday about this meeting, his first reaction was to decline, especially considering the guest list…Kara's widow, his own ex-wife, his estranged father, Tom Zarek & President Roslin, both of whom are star witnesses for the prosecution. But when Laura recounted her discussion with Zarek, small details popped out at him, planting frightening ideas that demanded his attention.

Lee arrives onto the hanger deck only to find that he's the first to arrive. He takes a deep breathe to calm his nerves and sense memory floods him as the acrid smell of engine grease and scorched metal assaults his nostrils. The tension drains away and an ache, he'd all but forgotten rallies as he watches the deck crew move a viper into the launch tubes. His fingers begin to twitch, evolving into a steady tremor of restraint against the desire to command the power, pitch, yaw and roll of 3 tons of steel. It's the first time since her death that he's truly missed flying. His mind convinced him long ago that Apollo was only a façade; a stupid, meaningless call sign rather than any integral part of Lee Adama's psyche. But standing here in the landing bay his body rejects the lie on a visceral level and he simply cannot stop shaking. He doesn't even realize that he's not breathing until Roslin startles him with a hand upon his shoulder. He releases a shaky laugh and turns towards her, "Madame President."

"My apologies Lee, I didn't mean to sneak up on you. I'm sorry we're late." She motions towards the elder Adama on her right, "There was a minor crisis in CIC."

Bill watches as a flash of concern crosses Lee's face, and some of the bitterness he's been stowing ebbs away. "Shall we?"

As the raptor ride progresses in stark silence, Laura Roslin wonders why more Presidents weren't originally teachers? She finds it immeasurably helpful to have had the experience of working with kindergarteners, especially on days like today when the highest members of the social and military echelon were behaving like a pair of 6 year olds. She fails to suppress a giggle at the notion, but the queer looks that both Adama's send her propels her into a full gale of laughter.

Lee eyes his father as Laura composes herself, the question clear in his blue eyes, "What's so funny?" His father's look of concern subtly wanes into amusement and he cocks his head in a half shrug that tells Lee, "Damned if I know." They smile briefly at one another, a temporary alliance in the mystery of women.

Laura catches the exchange and sits back to enjoy the, now companionable quiet.

Half an hour later, walking into the cargo bay, an eerie sense of déjà vu settles over Lee as he remembers his last stay aboard the Astral Queen. A traitorous part within him wonders if Kara will be the one waiting for him around the corner this time…as a prisoner…a cylon. His stomach twists as they turn the bend…Tom Zarek stands alone waiting to greet them.

"Madame President, Admiral Adama," he smiles wistfully at Lee "Counselor. Follow me please." He leads them to a secluded room with a hatch on the opposing side. There are no furnishings, just empty space and bare walls, "I apologize for the lack of decorum, but prison ships are designed to be secure, which doesn't lend itself towards comfort."

Bill's patience is beginning to strain, "I think we'd all prefer to be standing when we hear this Mr. Zarek."

"Of course." Tom begins to pace a little as he proceeds, "About a week ago, Sam came to me with some disturbing news."

Lee interrupts "Sam Anders?"

Zarek nods at Laura, "The president felt that I should appoint additional security for the duration of Baltar's trial. The office of the President has had numerous death threats. Samuel Anders has been a great help and at the time," his tone softens "he needed a distraction."

William Adama attempts to steer them back on task, "I take it his news pertains to our suspected Cylon?"

"There's nothing suspect…we've found one of the Final Five. Lt. Dualla's surveillance skills, not only got us the positive ID, but that information gave us an opportunity to apprehend the agent, without arousing suspicion."

Laura's tone is a mixture of awe and cold steel, "You caught them?"

Zarek nods.

"There's something that's not adding up here," all eyes turn towards Lee. "How could you identify one of the Final Five cylons when we don't know who they are or what they look like?"

"Because the person we captured is supposed to be dead." Silence meets this declaration. "Perhaps it's just better to show you, rather than try to explain?"

Adama nods solemnly.

Zarek picks up the wall phone and dials an extension, "Sam? Transport approved." He walks back to the center of the room facing the two Adama's and the President of the Colonies, "Prepare yourselves."

Laura can feel her palms sweating and clasps them together, wishing she could center her mind as easily. She glances at Bill on her right and sees that his military mask is fixed firmly into place. To those that know him, it's a dead give away that there's turmoil brewing beneath the surface. Laura's a bit surprised, however, when she sees that Lee's wearing the same expression as his father…a blank professional canvas. Only his eyes give him away; but the swirl of emotions passing beneath them is too chaotic to decipher.

At the moment, Lee feels both overwhelmed and numb. If he had to pick an adjective to describe himself, it would be…lost. It seems like an eternity before there's a bang on the hatch.

Tom turns the wheel and steps aside.

Dee enters first, her side arm trained on the slightly larger figure behind her. The cylon is dressed in civilian clothing, arms restrained behind the back, and a black bag over the head. Sam brings up the rear, his rifle aimed directly at the prisoner's head.

Zarek closes the door behind them, locking it, "Any problems?"

Sam shakes his head, "No." He acknowledges the others with a brief nod and Dee follows suit.

Bill stares at the black mask before him. Sam is covering on the right and Zarek draws his own pistol and takes over Dee's flanking position on the left.

Lee can feel Dee's eyes on him, but he simply cannot look away from the prisoner's face. That black mask is like an abyss he cannot help but stare into.

Tom nods and Dee walks behind the prisoner.

When she pulls the bag away, Lee feels the bottom drop out of his world.

The cylon calmly stares into William Adama's eyes cataloging the shock, the rage, and the relief found within. The cylon breaks the tense silence with a single word, drawled in a near defiant tone, "Admiral."

**Authors Note: Reviews are always appreciated. Guesses on who the cylon is, are also welcome...I love to hear how readers interpret the story and where you think I'm headed. But be forewarned...I love a good surprise. **


	4. Chapter 4

Spoilers- Speculation on some storyline rumors for 2nd half S3

Disclaimers-I don't own these characters, Ron Moore does

**Chapter 4**

Lee Adama has survived the annihilation of the Twelve Colonies & the 2nd Exodus of New Caprica, but even in his darkest moments, there was a shred of hope inside him that kept him going. The woman standing before them has destroyed that last thread…his last hope that Kara is alive dissolves, leaving hollowness and Helena Cain in its wake.

Bill glares irately at the former Admiral but she doesn't flinch or show any outward signs of concern. In fact, she smirks when she asks him, "Isn't the title of Admiral usually reserved for someone who commands more than one Battlestar?"

Lee bristles at the mention of the Pegasus, "Usually the Admiral pins are only given to a **real** human being, but apparently there's an exception here as well" he counters.

She appraises Lee for a moment before turning back to Adama, "I warned you that having your son under your command was a bad idea." She watches the fury that ignites behind his eyes, "Wasn't the Pegasus lost when Major Adama defied your orders and returned to New Caprica?"

Bill takes an imposing step forward and all but growls, "Maybe you're just pissed off because my son's actions saved the fleet, destroyed three baseships, and kicked your Cylon brethren's asses."

Her eyes turn cold and there's warning clear in her voice, "Don't associate our actions with theirs."

Laura Roslin finally finds her voice, "The Final Five and the seven known cylons?"

"The agenda of the Seven Siblings has always been at odds with our own…which is precisely why I'm here."

Lee waves his hand indicating the three guns trained on the prisoner, "I'd say that you're here because you frakked up."

"You really think that these two" she nods at Dee and Anders, "could've taken me down if I actually resisted?" She scoffs, "I'm here because I choose to be."

Laura isn't about to let Cain have the upper-hand, "And what if we _choose _to airlock you?"

Helena Cain looks Roslin up and down before addressing Adama again, "You're right Bill, she has come a long way." She turns her attention back to Laura, "It wasn't so long ago you were plotting my assassination from the shadows of your death bed. Now look at you today. Threatening me in the open," she leans forward, dropping her tone to a near whisper, "and I must say, aside from the curative properties, that hybrid blood did wonders for your complexion."

Laura isn't even aware that her body has surged forward until she feels Bill's arm restrain her. She allows him to pull her back, a safe distance from the prisoner.

Lee's voice cuts through the tension, "Surely even Cylons are familiar with the term hypocrisy?" He steps closer, "Considering that you sent a battalion of marines to execute the entire Galactica command, I'd say you forfeit any moral high ground."

She smiles at him, "I'm impressed. That information could have only been learned if you actually gained the confidence of the Pegasus crew during your command."

"The human capacity for trust improves dramatically once removed from a pervasive climate of fear. I _earned_ the respect and trust of mycrew." Lee allows that to sink in for a moment, "If you really want our trust today, then you're going to have work for it."

Cain bows her head slightly, "I would've been disappointed if you'd asked for anything less." She retreats a few steps, a physical sign to all in the room that she's backing down. She's deliberately slow in her withdrawal, cognoscente of the guns tracking her every move. "I'm here to begin negotiations on an alliance between our people."

Memories of New Caprica assault her, causing her posture to go rigid; teaching children in the tents, facing a death squad, watching the Galactica fall from the sky. Roslins' voice is icy, "I saw first hand the Cylon version of 'peace' and I speak for the people of the colonies when I say, go to hell."

"We were not responsible for the 'movement' on New Caprica. As I stated before, the Seven Siblings act independently…and I might add, foolishly. I am here to form a treaty between the Final Five and the Colonials."

Bill steps in, attempting to redirect their focus to the situation at hand, "You'll forgive me if this old military dog isn't too keen on the idea of bartering a treaty with a former spy who's representing the interest of four other unknown parties."

"Fair enough. As a demonstration of the Final Five's commitment towards an alliance, I've been authorized to offer you vital information, as a sign of good faith."

Zarek breaks his silence and speaks to Roslin, "I've been party to numerous secret pacts and no one makes an offer like that without expecting something in return."

Adama finishes the thought, "So the questions become, what's the nature of this information and what's the price?"

"The price is legitimate negotiations and protection of the Final Five under the human standards of Colonial Law, to be overseen by Counselor Adama" she motions towards Lee.

Lee is shocked by the simplicity of her demands, which makes him question, "And the data?"

Cain takes a deep breathe, "There are other members of the Final Five within your fleet, agree to the terms, and I'll reveal their identities." She looks at the stunned expression on their faces, "Do we have an accord?"

Bill looks first to Laura, who tilts her head inquisitively, then nods. Before he can turn to his son, he feels Lee's hand graze his shoulder. He regards Cain for a moment before stating, "Agreed."

Cain smiles, a cat-that-got-the-crème, expression and something twists in Laura's gut. She can sense that Bill feels it too when he stiffens beside her. Somehow, they've just lost ground, and she summons her political savvy to regain some semblance of control, "I have one reservation."

"I suspect you have many, but please continue."

"How do we know that the other's you reveal will adhere to the agreement? What makes you so certain that they'll go along with this after you betray them?"

It's a valid question, one Lee had asked himself, but nothing could have prepared him for her response.

Cain shakes her head dismissively with a short laugh, "I never said I'd betray them."

In the next moment, every gun in the room turns away from the prisoner, each one taking aim against Roslin, Adama, and Lee respectively.

**Author's Note: Happy Valentine's Day! I think a surprise ending is a better gift than chocolates or flowers... hope you enjoy! Like every writer, I love reviews...they're the best kind of Valentine. Hope your evening is sweet and, if you're really lucky, sexy ;-)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Fic:** The Guardian

Chapter 5

Helena Cain breaks the bonds restraining her with relative ease and takes a minute to roll the built-up tension from her shoulders. She smiles thinly, wishing that the oppressive tension within the room could be dispelled so easily. She can feel the anxiety radiating from her own kind, as well as the humans; though the later are far easier to read. As expected, she finds Laura Roslin incredulous and William Adama seething, but it's the expression of the younger Adama that fascinates her most. Lee Adama looks neither shocked, nor angry, that his ex-wife is holding him hostage at gunpoint. If anything, Helena would describe him as pensive. When Lee meets her gaze, she holds fast to those sapphire eyes until she sees comprehension dawn within.

Lee steps forward slowly, Dee's pistol following him, "I think you've proven your point." He gestures at the guns covering his father & the President, "If you're really interested in negotiating with the Colonial Fleet, then it's time to differentiate yourselves from the other seven Cylons."

Cain smiles approvingly, "Stand down. Remove your clips and hand them over to Admiral Adama."

Laura watches wearily as Zarek, Dee, and Sam follow the order, but her temper wins out, "What the hell is going on here?"

Zarek turns to her flashing a self-deprecating smile, "You'll have to excuse Helena's flare for the dramatic," Cain scowls at that remark, "but I must admit it was rather effective in getting everything out into the open."

Bill's grip on the gun clips turns white-knuckled, "So this whole cylon capture was a ploy?"

"More like a power play" Lee surmises. "A means to discretely reveal four of the Final Five members to their Colonial counterparts." Lee looks poignantly at Sam, "Except one notable absence."

As she looks around the room, the significance of Lee's words begins to take root. Laura Roslin is not just looking at four randomly placed cylons, but rather four reflections of the Colonial hierarchy. Admiral and Commander. President and Vice President. Lee and Dee. Sam and…Kara.

"Our mission was to align with the most influential figures within the Colonial fleet. To guide and protect them until the time was right" Sam adds.

"Protect? I'd say you were a bit negligent with your charge." There's venom in Lee's voice, "Where were you when she was shot and dragged off to a Farm?" He steps closer, "Where were you when Leoben had her locked into her worst nightmare?" His voice is a near shout, "Where the frak were you when they shot her out of the sky?"

Sam advances forward, but Dee steps between them, pushing them apart. "Enough!" She rounds on Lee, "Sam guided her through the necessary trials as best he could and her destiny prevailed."

Lee nearly chokes on the word, "Destiny? Are you saying that her 'role' was to die?"

"It's not that simple" Sam's face is chagrin.

Cain intervenes, "Until recently, we never believed that a truce could be arranged." She looks between Adama and Roslin, "Even now, as I'm standing here exposing our secrets, surrendering our weapons, and proposing an alliance…I can see the revulsion in your eyes." She slowly turns to look at Lee, "We needed to know that at least one of you could put your prejudices aside and listen."

Zarek continues, "He who was most opposed to the Cylons and yet was able to find the strength to defend a traitor and understand an enemy."

"We were waiting on you." Dee's voice is soft but the impact of her words are bruising, "When you told me 'Yes', I knew that you were finally ready."

Lee's mind flashes back to that day in his office over a week ago. His stomach churns remembering the odd smile that Dee wore when he confessed that he would always love Kara. His father's hand on his elbow draws him back to the present. "So you want me to be your advocate?"

"Humanity is not as fraught with honesty and nobility as you'd like to believe, Lee. There's not a single entity in this room, human or cylon, who hasn't lied or deceived." Zarek casts a quick glance at Adama and Roslin, "It's a significant commonality." He addresses Laura directly, "Neither of our people can claim the moral high ground, when we're all tainted by some lineage of deception."

_Tainted? _The word rings in Laura's ears. "Tainted? As in, an infraction that can be excised or overlooked?" Her voice is soft, but dangerous, "The blood of genocide is a ubiquitous poison. Your _people_ condemned our future generations to a cancerous existence." She glares across the Cylon assembly, "So you'll pardon me, if I don't see the correlation."

Helena Cain steps forward, her look a mixture of guiltless compassion, "We could not prevent the destruction of the 12 Colonies, but neither was it our design. If you cannot believe that," she shakes her head, "then **we** all die."

"We?" Bill asks.

"Humanity and the Final Five." She assesses Admiral Adama keenly, "This is an alliance of survival. Our fates are linked by threads you cannot even imagine…at least, not yet."

"And if I don't believe in 'fate' as a means to protect the Fleet?"

"You believe in reality Bill. And the reality, without our help, is the bleak future, you" she nods to Laura, "just described."

No one says a word. Minutes pass and in them, Lee watches as the war of history versus hope wages behind his father eyes. The righteous fire from Laura's earlier tirade quells into grudging resignation. Suddenly it's clear to Lee that he's the one meant to bridge the silence and all that it represents. "The enemy of my enemy is my friend." Everyone looks at him, and Lee nods. "Let's start there."

**Author's Note: WOW! Thank you to all the lovely reviewers from Chapter 4. Sorry that this one is so short and probably confusing, but I've got to set the stage a little. Reviews are always appreciated. Thanks for reading.**


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimers-I don't own these characters, Ron Moore does

Chapter 6

"Obviously, you know the reason and history as to why the Cylons are the enemies of humanity." Lee begins, "Before we can trust you, I think we need to understand the motives of the Final Five?"

"It's complicated" Zarek hedges.

"Civil war usually is" Adama presses "but surely at least one reason comes to mind?"

"Our primary rationale is the same one that drove the twelve colonies of humanity to fraction."

Years of reviewing and teaching Colonial history supplies Laura with the answer instantly, "Religious beliefs?"

"Very good Laura."

"Are you atheists?" Lee asks.

Dee looks at Lee, clearly insulted by the suggestion, "No. We believe in God and the scriptures."

"But?"

"But we also believe that God loves all of his creations equally, Cylon and human."

"I don't see how that's different from what Six has told me of her beliefs and those of the other seven."

Sam speaks up, "The Seven Siblings believe that God favors the Cylons…placing us and our cause before all others."

"Humanity created the Cylons, not God." It's a fatal logic flaw that has always bothered Lee when discussing this issue with Caprica. "If anything, since we're your creators, wouldn't that make _us _your Gods?"

"Do you worship your parents as deities?" Dee fires back defiantly. "The same premise applies here. Humanity was the instrument of God's will and you created us as part of his divine plan."

"If this small difference of interpretation is the cause of civil war between the Cylons," Laura pauses, "then how do you expect to forge an alliance with the Colonial Fleet, when we don't even believe in your God?"

Cain steps forward, "As Dee said, we believe in God **and **the scriptures. If you compare the scriptures of the Cylons with those of humanity, then you'll discover that there's a great deal of overlap."

"Is that how the Cylons have been searching for earth?"

"Partly…though I'd dare say Baltar helped contribute to their success. At our most basic level, we're still machines ruled by logic, so making prophetic or interpretive leaps are difficult for a Cylon who's had little human interaction." Cain smiles, "Which is another reason that we're estranged from our kin. Each one of us has been among humanity for a number of years prior to the original attack…One being the first to integrate."

"Which of you is One?" Bill asks.

A strange look is shared among the cylons before Cain responds on their behalf, "One is our leader."

"So I gathered." Cain makes no response to his sarcastic comment and tone, "I asked who One was, not what he was."

"Only the Guardian has known the audience of One."

A chill travel's down Laura's spine, "The Guardian?" she whispers. The scrolls proclaimed that the Guardian would serve as the protector of humanity's salvation. If the Guardian is keeping council with the leader of the Final Five, does that mean that this alliance is their pathway to deliverance? Confusion overwhelms her. All this time, she just assumed that the Guardian held the secret to Earth's location and once again, the cylons have turned her world and perceptions upside down. Lee's voice interrupts her revelry, focusing on a different issue altogether, "Are you saying you don't know who your leader is? That you just follow orders blindly? That's insane!"

Cain looks at Adama and Lee, "In your years with the Fleet, how many times did you follow orders that were handed down to you without knowing who issued them or why?" When neither responds she continues, "One is much more than_ just_ our leader. The impact that One has had on the Final Five" she stops, steeling herself with a deep breathe, "I can't even begin to explain it. Complete anonymity was the only way to ensure One's safety."

It hits Lee like a revelation, "That's why the Seven Siblings don't know who you are?"

Cain nods.

Lee notices Laura's confused stare, but before he can begin to explain, his father beats him to it.

"The military will occasionally compartmentalize information, such as identities or even the existence of deep cover operatives. It's a safety measure."

"It also forces the agent to commit to their assigned role, since there's no record of their past life." Lee looks at Zarek curiously and can't help but wonder if Tom knew that his time as a human would be spent largely in a prison cell.

Zarek can feel the attention of the younger Adama focused on him, "The Final Five, did indeed, begin as a deep cover operation. Our objective was to learn as much as we could about you before the Judgment. If humanity was completely destroyed, then we'd have record of personal experience for Cylon posterity. If you managed to survive, then we would know our enemy and have spies networked to ensure our ultimate victory." Tom smiles wistfully, "However, as we integrated into human society, our beliefs began to diverge from those of the Seven Siblings."

"The others believed that we were acting as the hand of God," Dee's voice is contrite, "delivering his wrath upon humanity for their arrogance and sins."

"There was nothing we could do to stop the attack." Sam interjects, "The other Seven didn't know who we were and, at the time, we didn't have access to their timetable. It was a double-fail safe."

Cain picks up the narrative, "Originally, One's orders were to gather the Final Five, post assault, and rendezvous with the Seven Siblings on our home world. We'd then provide the details of our individual missions and positions within the fleet to aide in the extermination of humanity."

Laura finds the recount captivating, but the larger question remains, "What made you change your mind?"

"One discovered that the scriptures of the Cylons and those of humanity's religion don't just overlap, they intertwine." Helena can tell that the earlier skepticism is fading as the gravity of the situation sinks in. "One could see the roles of the Final Five, and even a few of you, outlined by hybridizing the sacred texts. Accordingly, we were each assigned to specific tasks and charges."

"By One?" Bill asks.

"Yes" Cain supplies.

"How do we know that your offer for alliance is genuine, when we have no way of validating that you have a consensus?" Bill stares into the former Admiral's eyes, unflinching, "If the Final Five take their orders from One, then that's whose assurance I need."

"Everything we've done today, are per One's orders."

"You're asking us to put blind faith in your blind faith" Lee clarifies. "We need something more substantial."

"We anticipated as much." Cain sighs, "In exchange for safe quarter for the four of us, and in order to overcome this impasse, we'll give you the Guardian." She takes in their reactions before finishing, "The Guardian can vouch for our devotion, including that of One."

Lee remains doubtful, "Why should we trust this Guardian?"

Sam steps forward and hands Lee a small swath of canvas, "Because you always have before."

Lee's vision swims as he stares into the familiar swirling vortex of red, yellow, and blue.

**Author's Note: Hello again. Thanks to all of my reviewers for the past chapters...they really help motivate me to continue writing and dreaming. For those of you begging for Starbuck to return...keep reading and if you review and pester me enough...I may just through some smut into this story too ;-) Let me know your thoughts and/or complaints. Cheers!**


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimers-I don't own these characters, Ron Moore does

Chapter 7

Helo checks the jump coordinates for the tenth time, trying to focus on his ECO duties rather than dwell on the mission at hand and failing miserably. "Frak!"

"How are you holding up?"

Karl looks up to see his wife watching him from the pilot controls with deep concern etched into her features. He exhales slowly, seeking a calm center, but his mind flashes back to their cryptic call a few hours ago. "I'm just having trouble wrapping my head around this one." Sharon nods in agreement. "Do you think it's really her?"

"We'll know in about an hour when we reach the rendezvous point."

Karl stands and walks forward to join her and can't help but notice the pensive look she's unable to conceal, "What is it?"

"Nothing." She can see him smirking out of the corner of her eye, "Aren't you curious where they got this information?"

"Considering the number of times the Admiral repeated the words 'discretion' and 'classified' when describing our mission, I doubt we'll be in on that secret anytime soon."

"Yeah" she mutters in a slightly dejected tone.

"Hey, don't sound so disappointed. The fact that the Admiral, the President, and Apollo are entrusting us with this mission, speaks volumes towards their faith in us. In _both_ of us" he squeezes her shoulder for emphasis and it wins him a smile. "Besides, we're working against the clock and anything that involves explaining Kara Thrace and 'Her Special Destiny' is bound to take awhile." The laugh Karl was expecting never comes. Instead he's met with fearful silence and a long measured look from his wife. His stomach twists with trepidation. Until this moment, Karl Agathon had not really stopped to consider the implications, nor ramifications of what it would mean if Kara Thrace were truly alive.

Sharon's eyes soften briefly at his furrowed brow, "Hey. It'll be alright." She snaps her military mask back into place, "Now go check the coordinates again and I'll review our flight plan. We've got less than forty minutes."

BSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSG

Lee Adama sits across from his ex-wife and for the past ten minutes, only silence has dared to fill the void. It was his idea to sit down and have one on ones between each Final Five member and their counterpart and yet, here he sits, staring at his 'reflection' with nothing to say.

He'd rather be out in that SAR raptor, but it's imperative that they debrief the cylons before Kara arrives in order to corroborate the facts. Kara…she's alive. The idea still seems foreign and yet Lee can feel the anticipation thrumming through his body. The sensation is something akin to waking a limb that's fallen asleep; it prickles, reviving a part of his soul he'd thought lost.

"You're thinking about her." It's not a question, merely an observation, "You get this look about you when you're thinking of her. I'd say you were bad at hiding it, but I honestly don't think you realized that you were doing it at all."

A pang of guilt assails him, but it's swiftly replaced by anger, "Well not all of us are as skilled at hiding our emotions and motives. But then you have an unfair advantage."

"Don't pretend that my being a cylon has anything to do with the fact that you didn't love me. Our marriage was over long before…"

"Was it all a lie?" Lee's temper is flaring as he dissects their history in his mind, "Was it a set-up?"

At that her eyes flick away, "Not the way you think. In the beginning, my primary role was to operate as a plant within CIC…relaying information on the fleet back to Cain and One."

"Cain?"

"Did you really buy that the Pegasus just happened to find us at a time when we were losing hope and barely hanging on?" His answering look of shock causes Dee to smile, "Your optimism is one of your more endearing traits Lee."

Shock wanes into disdain, "Which leads us to your next mission objective…me."

"You were always my top priority. That's why I helped you and Roslin escape. That's why I convinced your father to return to Kobol and mend the fleet. The nature of my orders changed after the incident with the Blackbird. I overheard you talking to Kara about not wanting to come back alive and as a result One instructed me to elevate our interactions. My job was to give you something to live for and, unfortunately for me, I put my heart and soul into it. But it wasn't enough."

He's disgusted with himself when he realizes that a small part of him wishes Dee had more sinister motives which he could use to dismiss his own disgraceful behavior. Neither one of them conducted themselves openly and honestly in their marriage, but Lee has no doubt that she's telling him the truth now. "It wasn't entirely your fault."

She smiles ruefully, "Oh…I know." That actually gets a chuckle out of him, "Logically, we should have been perfect for one another. But if I've learned anything from living among humanity, it's that love is illogical and more importantly…" she looks at him sadly, "it won't be forced. But neither will it be denied." She sees that look enter his eyes again and she smiles when he catches himself.

"Sorry." Dee nods and Lee returns the gesture. It's a nice end and a new beginning.

BSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSG

"You said that One, foresaw the key roles of the Final Five and some members of humanity, outlined within the sacred scrolls?"

"Yes and no. Combining elements from both of our religious texts allowed One to identify the most probable figures to fulfill the various roles." Tom shakes his head, "Why don't you just ask me what you really want to know Laura?"

She adjusts her glasses, pushing them higher, "Did you know that I would be the _dying leader_?"

"Not you specifically, but it was likely to be a high powered politician," Zarek points to himself, "which is why I was assigned to aspire towards a political office."

"Your political convictions landed you in jail long before the attacks on the colonies" she points out. "What was your original mission?"

"I was meant to test the waters of political change within colonial society. I choose to submerse myself in one of the 'poor' colonies, to see if humanity had learned anything from their abuse of the cylon workforce."

"And you found that we'd learned nothing? At least that's what I gather from your subsequent terrorist assault tactics."

"Oddly enough…I was torn. The cylon part within me actually saw your unfair conduct with the Sagittarian colonists as an indicator that you weren't really treating the original cylons any worse than some of your own." Tom can tell that his narrative has unbalanced her, but he presses forward, "The humanity within me…was outraged by the inequity. Consider the irony that I, a cylon, was sent to prison for trying to uphold utopian ideals within an exploited colony of humanity."

"Given what you've experienced, I'm surprised that you didn't side with the other Seven."

"Well, prison gives you time to think. And I discovered a fatal flaw in my prior logic; I had attempted to implement the cornerstones of Cylon society…which focuses on the group…into a human society and economy. In retrospect…it was really quite stupid."

Laura Roslin cannot stop the smile that threatens her lips; she mercifully squashes her initial instinct to laugh, "Be that as it may. It still doesn't answer my question."

"Despite the inequality of your sociopolitical structure, even a man imprisoned for terrorism, could make his voice heard…and in that way…he was free. God wishes us to prove our loyalty and love for him, by making the right choices. But I found that there was never really a 'choice' within cylon society, it was always a consensus. It is within my humanity that I can truly choose the right path. That's something worth saving."

Laura assesses him shrewdly, "If you weren't a politician, I'd be inclined to believe you. But who are you? Are you Tom Zarek?"

"I don't understand."

"Who was Tom Zarek before you came along? Did you and the others steal identities or just invent them?"

"I can't speak for the others, but I _am_ Tom Zarek." He cocks his head at her, "I'm surprised that it actually matters to you?"

"If you stole an identity?" Laura asks heatedly.

He smiles roguishly, "You stole an election…an entire collection of identities." Her mouth drops open and Tom chuckles softly, "Based on the outcome, I still wish you had gone through with it, but from the moral stance I'm glad you didn't. I feel more secure in our negotiations knowing that you honor the balance between doing what is right versus what is necessary."

"You said earlier that we've all made mistakes, human and cylon alike. I cannot say that we have trust" her eyes are earnest, "but we do have a start."

Zarek regards her thoughtfully, "That will do."

BSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSG

"Spinning up FTL drive. Jump on my mark. Three, two, one…mark." The map of stars rearranges within the blink of an eye. "Coordinates confirmed, we're on target. Nothing on my visual. Helo?"

"Contact."

**Authors Note: Hello again. Thanks to all of the reviewers...your feedback helps me stay on course. Let me know your thoughts. ALSO: I kinda hate my story summary...but it's hard to write one without giving the story away...anyone who has a good suggestion, please private message me (or leave it in a review). Thanks.**


	8. Chapter 8

Spoilers- Speculation on some storyline rumors for 2nd half S3

Pairing-L/D, L/K

Disclaimers-I don't own these characters, Ron Moore does

**Chapter 8**

Helo repeats the word with a cautious smile, "Contact. Dradis confirms we've got a Cylon heavy raider in quadrant four." When Athena pilots the Raptor for a visual confirmation, Karl swivels from the ECO station to look forward. Hope chases fear as he sees the vessel come into sharper focus.

Athena's voice trembles slightly as she attempts to hail the raider, "Cylon vessel this is colonial raptor 74212, respond." The silence that greets them is heavy, "I repeat, this is colonial raptor 74212, please respond."

"Try another channel."

"I don't think that's going to work Helo." Something about the way she says his name makes the hairs on the back of his neck rise, "Look."

The heavy raider appears to have sustained minor damage. The ship moves without determination…drifting, as though no one was at the helm. Athena opens the channel again, "Cylon vessel do you require assistance? Please respond." Again, deafening silence is the only reply.

Helo's patience wears into recklessness, "Frak this" he grabs the com link, "Starbuck this is Helo and Athena, comeback?" He pauses, certain that Kara's just playing with them and in a moment her voice will crackle over the wireless with a boisterous laugh. But after a full three minutes of dead air, panic rears within him…even Starbuck's sense of humor isn't this cruel.

"Wait…do you see that?"

"What?" Helo asks.

"There on the underside…I thought I saw…" but the need to further explain dies away as the listless raider turns its underbelly to their view.

Karl Agathon feels a mixed rush of optimism and anxiety. His mind flashes back to Kara's apartment on Caprica, where he first saw those concentric circles painted in bold strokes of primary color. As the heavy raider rotates slowly, the colors seem to swirl like the vortex of a storm.

BSG BSG BSG BSG BSG BSG BSG BSG BSG BSG BSG BSG BSG

In a private room aboard the Astral Queen, Bill Adama stares intently at his former superior officer, now cylon collaborator, Helena Cain. He decides to forfeit the stalemate of silence in favor of learning more about their new 'associates'. "Why now? Why reveal yourselves at this time?"

Her answer is immediate, "Because one of our greatest assets is at risk."

Bill can think of only one subject that's consumed the interest of the entire fleet these past few weeks, "Baltar?"

Cain barks out a laugh, "No! If anything, Baltar exacerbated our situation from bad to worse." She sighs and retreats to the role of military diplomat, "What's the single best advantage to have in any attack?"

Bill knows the answer, but pretends to consider it a moment before responding, "The element of surprise." He watches as she nods in agreement, "But your actions today would seem contrary to that goal."

Cain cannot restrain a half-smile laced with frustration, "Humanity is entirely too self-involved." She exhales slowly and presses her palm against the metal table before meeting his gaze, "You're going to continue to miss the point if you insist on lumping us in with the other cylons…as the enemy."

"I've got more history of fighting the Cylons than any other person in this fleet. It's going to take more than one day and a good story to convince me of your loyalties." He locks eyes with Cain in a clash of steel. He can tell that she doesn't like it, but he knows that she understands it. "So tell me why I'm wrong."

"The scriptures offered clues as to _when_ we should reveal ourselves to humanity…not if, but when. Our disguise was never meant to be permanent amongst our allies."

"Yet one of your terms of 'safe quarter' involves allowing the Final Five agents to return to their former lives within the fleet as though nothing happened today."

"It's the safest thing for all parties. Imagine the unrest it would provoke if the general public learned that figureheads in both the military and the civilian government were compromised? Let alone, the news of an alliance with a 'disgruntled' cylon sect?" Cain leans forward, stone faced, "The rumors alone would spread like wildfire, leaving nothing but destruction and ash."

"And you and I both know that it would be irresponsible for me to grant you those terms. It's an unacceptable danger to the Fleet."

"We were ideally positioned to tear this fleet apart from the inside out, without the slightest possibility of being detected. And yet, despite innumerable opportunities to destroy you, my brethren & I are sitting in these interrogation rooms today offering you the best chance to save humanity." Cain's voice warbles with barely restrained incredulity, "Hell, we saved your asses a few times without you even knowing."

At last they arrive at the topic Bill is most keen to discuss, "If that's true, then why do you need our help at all?"

"Because once the Seven Siblings discover the truth, they'll be coming for us."

"Your greatest asset is your anonymity from the other Seven?"

"Yes. And recent events have convinced us that they're drawing closer to uncovering that knowledge."

The fragments of a past discussion tease at Bill's memory, "The Three model? Lee mentioned that she saw the faces of the Final Five, but that she died before Baltar could learn anything." His account seems to unnerve her momentarily and Bill realizes that this is the first time he's ever seen this model show any sign of fear.

"Yes. But we have reason to believe that entire line was boxed before she shared her experience."

The Admiral raises an eyebrow in question.

"My original assignment was to track the Cylon fleet, which was conveniently following the colonial fleet. It was a brilliant cover that allowed me to observe both parties without suspicion. For months, I did nothing but study the progress and reactions of the Seven Siblings. _Know thy enemy._" Bill nods his assent, "Believe me, if they knew who we were, they would have come for us already. Three wasn't able to tell them anything useful, but her curiosity has opened the floodgates." She shakes her head resignedly, "Now it's only a matter of time before another model follows her example." Her lips twitch into a tart smile, "What you have to remember, when dealing with machines, especially ones as complex as the Cylons, is that knowledge is the ultimate seduction."

"The Final Five have given us a great deal of information today, but you've yet to explain how you expect Galactica and our fleet to protect you?"

"Ironically…I'm just following orders." She smiles at his look of disbelief, "The truth is that information is above my pay grade. You'll have to wait and discuss that topic with the Guardian. In the meantime, we only ask that you trust us as you did yesterday, before you knew what we were."

Bill appraises Cain for a moment, rolling over their discussion in his head before hedging, "I'll need to discuss this with the President and get her approval."

It's less than Cain would like, but more than she expected. In response she nods, with a polite, "Of course."

As Adama stands, Cain rises and renders a crisp salute. This simple gesture of respect, invokes in Bill, for the first time, the notion that a genuine camaraderie is possible. He returns her salute with equal decorum before turning to leave.

**Author's Note: I promise you'll get a look at the Guardian in the next chapter, but I hope you enjoy this in the meantime. Thanks to all of the readers and hugs for my reviewers. I'm off to watch Ron and Co. make liars of me. Enjoy your Sunday evening all.**


	9. Chapter 9

Spoilers- Speculation on some storyline rumors for 2nd half S3

Disclaimers-I don't own these characters, Ron Moore does

**Chapter 9**

Sam Anders stares at the empty chair across from him, hoping that the Admiral or perhaps the President will be coming to discuss his mission; but in his gut he knows that it will be Lee who calls him to task. When the door opens a moment later, he doesn't need to look up to know that his assumption was correct. The tension between them is palatable, laced with the distinct flavor of Kara Thrace.

Lee doesn't sit immediately and Sam can feel his gaze drawing along the pattern of _her_ mark. Suddenly, he knows where to begin, "Did you ever wonder why she chose this?" he gestures to the half-wing tattoo and boldly meets Lee's accusing stare. "See at first…I just thought it was about her love of flying, but then I started to really listen to the stories…Apollo and Starbuck. The unbeatable team…two birds that were one in the sky." Sam runs a gentle finger across his bicep, "This is you." He lets out a mirthless chuckle, "My marriage tattoo is the symbol of my wife's relationship with another man."

Lee sits slowly, his gaze never wavering, his countenance unflinching.

"She married me to keep you safe. You get that, right?" A small grin graces Sam's mouth, "Kara believed that her love was poison. In her head, how much she loved you directly correlated to your individual lethal dosage level. Happiness wasn't something she welcomed; it was probably the only thing she really feared. A lifetime of experiences reinforced that lesson and she did the only thing she could to protect those she truly loved…she pushed them away."

"So whomever she hurt the most, she loved the best?" Lee pauses to reflect on that, "That's frakked up…even for Kara."

Sam can't help but smile sadly, "Explains a lot though, doesn't it?"

"That explains a lot about Kara, but not about you." Lee's voice grows gravelly struggling to control the rage boiling in his gut, "Twice she was in your care and twice she ended up in the hands of the Seven, why didn't _you _protect her?"

"The scriptures outlined specific events meant to test the resolve of the worthy. It was my mission to prepare her for those trials and help her realize her destiny…to transcend into the Guardian."

"Did you set her up?" It's hissed at a dangerously low decibel.

Sam swallows hard, "It's not that simple."

"Actually it is."

"In order to accept her role as the Guardian, Kara needed to face her past demons and make the choice to leave those she loved behind. She had to willingly accept her role and exorcise her fears."

"And you helped her by throwing her into the fire…is that it?"

The sarcasm of Lee's tone is overshadowed by the wrath dancing behind his eyes. Sam knows that he must tread carefully. "The scriptures spoke of tormentors that would raise the ghosts of the Guardian's past…the farms on Caprica and Leoben on New Caprica…they were a means toward the same end…provoking the darkness."

"What exactly does stealing someone's ovaries have in common with a psycho cylon who believes he's in love?"

"Did Kara ever tell you about Kasey?" Lee shifts back as though he's been slapped, "I'll take that as a yes." It only takes him a moment, but Sam watches intently as Lee works the puzzle. His recognition looks like horror and Sam confirms the sinister connection, "Family… more specifically mothers and their children…in this case Kara and her mother. Did you know about her mother?"

Lee nods, his throat dry as he remembers the sting of all the alcohol they'd drank and how it did nothing to numb the pain of listening to Kara talk about her abuse with such hollow detachment. By comparison Lee's own mother almost seemed saintly; although she had a gift for drunken tirades alternated with periods of quiet neglect.

"Her mother was supposed to teach her an important lesson, but Kara ran from her before she could…"

"Could what?" Lee's on his feet now, palms on the table looming over Anders, voice rising, "Hurt her more? No one…**no one**…should suffer the way she did."

"And that was the problem" Sam shouts back. "She confused the messenger with the message…Socrata Thrace was an abuse bitch who died alone. And because Kara left her to that fate, since she ran away that day, she has always feared death. Her mother was supposed to show her that death was a peaceful beginning…and without that knowledge, Kara could never become the Guardian. By opening those wounds, Kara was able to step back and learn the truth."

Lee sinks slowly back into the chair, dispirited, "That's why she embraced death?"

"She accepted that it was the gateway to her destiny."

"She sounded so peaceful," Lee is barely aware he's talking, "She said it was okay and that she wasn't afraid anymore." The emotions well up and he's barely able to control the tremor in his voice, "She asked me to let her go." He raises his eyes to meet Sam's "She begged me to let her go."

"She loved you. In fact, you were the one thing that could have prevented her from achieving her destiny." Lee quirks an eyebrow at that and Sam answers the implied question, "I loved her…don't doubt that…but _you_ were one of the reasons I pursued Kara."

Lee almost laughs at the notion, "So you and Dee were actually under orders to keep us apart?"

"Almost" Sam can't help but smile slightly, "It's not like One issued orders that read, cock-block Starbuck and Apollo."

Lee blinks once before stifling a laugh, "You probably needn't have bothered. Kara and I are capable of frakking up our relationship without outside interference."

"Huh?"

"You don't believe me?"

"No I do." Anders watches Lee for a moment, pleased with the progress they've made, "It's just that you said that you and Kara '_are_'capable…it's the first time you've talked about her in the present tense since we began."

Sam looks at the clock on the wall behind Lee, "They'll be back soon. Are you ready Lee?"

"Absolutely."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lee stands stock still before the hatch, his hand poised on the handle. '_Are you ready Lee?_' He takes a deep breath, '_Absolutely,_' and pushes the door open. His father stands statuesque beside the President, her arm is looped around his left elbow for support. His entry doesn't disturb their revelry. He follows their line of vision, through the one-way glass, and settles on the lone figure curled upon a cot inside a cylon containment cell.

Lee's feet move him forward until he's standing beside his father. Although he's only moved three feet his pulse is racing as though he'd run three miles. Her face is turned away from them, but he knows that it's her. For a few minutes, all he can do is stare in wonder but the fear spurs him to speak, "Is she okay?" To his surprise, it's the President who answers.

"The Agathons recovered her from a drifting cylon raider at the coordinates given, but she was found in this condition." She looks at Lee, whose eyes, like his father's, refuse to leave the prisoner, "She appears to be sedated, but otherwise unharmed."

"She's not going to take kindly to waking up in hack." Adama's voice is gravelly but there's a warm lilt towards the end, reminiscent of a private joke.

"Is this really necessary?"

The President sends Lee a sympathetic look and responds, "Until Major Cottle confirms that she's human and finishes the DNA comparison, I think it's best if we keep Capt. Thrace's return a closely guarded secret."

"We seem to be dealing exclusively in secrets lately." Bill pulls his eyes away to observe his son carefully, before putting a hand on Lee's shoulder in reassurance. "Right now, I'm more concerned about her safety than any possible threat she may pose."

Laura stares at the sleeping figure within the cell and speaks the ugly truth that the proud men beside her are too heartbroken to conceive. "She's been under the influence of the leader of the Final Five for over two months; we have no way of knowing if she's been compromised."

"I thought you believed that Kara was the Guardian? Or does this religious prophecy bullshit only matter when it's convenient for achieving your political goals?" It's a harsh accusation, but recounting Kara's personal history with Anders has brought Lee's protective nature to the foreground.

Laura takes an involuntary step back at Lee's fierce reprisal, but quickly regains her composure. "The cylons have shown an exceptional aptitude for manipulation. If that woman is indeed Kara Thrace, then I don't doubt her loyalty." She faces the hard gaze of each Adama before continuing, "But it would be foolish, if not detrimental, to dismiss the circumstances." She turns her full attention to Lee, "You watched her _die._ You _saw_ it. She _lived_ it…she endured death." Laura returns her attention to their prone Guardian, "Facing your mortality changes your perception of life. We need to know how it's changed her before we can even begin to help."

"We will help her son. As much as she'll let us, that is." He glances at Lee, but his last remark did not produce the desired effect. Instead of a smile, he sees fear skirt across his eldest son's features.

"That's if she even remembers us." Lee's voice manages to be both hollow and full of frustration, "If she remembers anything at all." His gaze never wavers from Kara's form. In the silence that follows his head begins to ache from the sheer force of his mind willing her to rouse. He longs to see her get out of that bed and kick it over, cursing the empty cell, him and his father for putting her there. Instead she continues to sleep; the absolute serenity exuding from her frightens him. Starbuck is not submissive or docile. This war has taught him that there's a price to be paid for every moment of peace. And as each minute passes, the tension climbs.

**Author's Note: Hey all. Well...Ron went and made me a liar...I only got 1 out of 4...but I do see parallels between my story set up and Ron's. We have each revealed cylon connected to someone special in the fleet...Roslin/Tori (Zarek), Adama/Tigh (Cain), Kara/Anders (yeah I got one right!), and Tryol/People/Everyman...I choose Dee for other story reasons, but each Final Five is a second hand to power and that's frakkin' cool. Anywho...I'm bummed that we get no new BSG for 9 months, but in the meantime, I'll try to finish this story and keep you entertained. **

**Reviews are always appreciated. Cheers!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: This chapter is for Uberscribbler who sent me two private messages to remind me that I was late in posting the next chapter for this story. I'll try to stay on track with posting Sunday/Monday every week. Thanks for the encouragement!**

**Chapter 10**

An hour passes and still, nothing.

Worry is the most exhausting human emotion and Lee can feel its ravaging affects stripping away at both his mind and body. His father and the President have taken seats and are talking in hushed voices, discussing the outcomes and ideas of the Final Five cylon meetings. Lee can hear everything they're saying, the quiet tones aren't meant to exclude him, but he's already given his debrief and has nothing to add. Here at the glass, keeping vigil is where he belongs.

His entire body clenches and although Kara hasn't moved, Lee knows that she's awake. He stops breathing in the minute that she remains tensed and immobile. She slowly rolls onto her back and brings her hands up to her eyes, shielding out the light from above and her face from his view. His voice comes out dry and soft, "Dad?"

William Adama is drawn from his conversation with the President by the tentative tone of his son's voice. The uncertainty and fear he detects in that single word is one has hasn't heard since Lee was a child. But currently Lee's eyes are locked forward, unwavering, and the implication brings Bill to his feet. Kara is sitting at the bed's edge with her head between her knees and hands covering her ears. A flash of memory overlaps and Bill remembers seeing Starbuck in this exact position, hung-over after a marathon Triad game to celebrate her birthday. In a blink, reality intrudes and a burst of paternal instinct tells him to open the door and hug his daughter in welcome. The feel of Roslin rising beside him, tempers the impulse.

Laura's breathe catches as she sees the young woman within descend onto the floor of the cell. Kara is on her knees and elbows, her arms outstretched into a point and her head buried between. The pose is reminiscent of a bow normally reserved for high holy days at Temple. "Is she praying?" But the answer comes from their 'Guardian' who abruptly pushes back to sit on her calves, tosses her head back, and let's out a maniacal laugh. The blood freezes in her veins, but quickly melts when she feels Bill slump against her side. Without looking she grasps his hand tightly. He shudders as Kara's tirade subsides into a hiccupping laugh and she returns to her prior stance. Laura slides the length of her forearm underneath Bill's and it feels at though that little link between them is the only thing keeping him standing. When she chances a look at Lee, she's not surprised to see him unsteady on his feet.

How many times had he wished to hear her laugh just once more? But not like this…not like this. That laugh was unbridled and wild; even now she's shaking on the ground from the residual. Given the context, he can only conclude that her experience has left her mad. _'Hasn't she always been'_ whispers a hopeful voice and Lee nearly chokes on a laugh that gives birth to a clipped sob. His entire reality seems to spin in upon itself and he feels dizzy. He stretches out a steadying hand to the cool glass separating them and everything stops. It's silent. Lee takes deep breathes and narrows his focus to nothing but the look and feel of his hand on the glass.

"Lee?"

He blocks out his father's voice, unwilling to share his grief. There's no solace for the loss Lee's incurred today.

"Major!"

It's not the professional tone in which Laura says it, or even the use of rank versus his given name, but rather the fact that he isn't a Major anymore, that breaks the spell. Lee's eyes relax. His vision and awareness expand to the space between his splayed fingers, where Kara is staring at him, crouched on the ground, alert and silent.

_THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS (Kara's POV)_

She keeps still when she first awakens, because she can sense that she's someplace new, potentially hostile. _If so, then why does the air taste familiar? _It doesn't taste good though. There is a stale, caustic quality laced to each breath…and yet she can't help but find it soothing.

Kara opens her eyes and is momentarily blinded by the brightness surrounding her but the noise assailing her ears takes precedence. She rolls onto her back, the blanket below her scratching the skin on her arms. She squints against the light and raises her hands to provide shade. She slips her thumbs out to plug her ears and hamper the noise until she can get her bearings.

Memories prickle at the edge of her consciousness but there's too much happing presently to bother with the past right now.

She turns to sit, scrubbing her hands across her face from nose to ear, and she hangs her head between her knees, focusing on the sound. Realization begins to trickle in…she knows sound of this beast…or rather…_bucket_. Galactica.

The Guardian has a destiny to attend to, but first, _Kara_ needs to know that this is real. She clambers down onto the cold metal decking, and is suddenly reminded why she used to pull on socks before stepping out her rack in the morning. The memories assault her and she welcomes the beating, folding down to thank the gods for rewarding her faith by returning her to her family. There's so much that she needs to tell them, so much they won't believe. Despite the weight of the arduous journey ahead she springs up and lets a raucous laugh erupt at the sheer joy of being in this ridiculous mess.

I'm alive. I'm alive and I'm back on Galactica. The lunacy surrounding her plight ebbs away but she still can't seem to shake the giggles. She burrows her head between her arms until she can feel the hum of Galactica's engines lulling against her forehead. Kara isolates the sound, commits it to memory as background noise and slowly it filters away.

Without the pervasive white noise of the ship Kara takes a moment to think about what she's seen and what it means. She knows now that she's in a cylon containment cell, probably under heavy guard and observation. That sobering thought coincides precisely with a seemingly loud bang originating from the far wall.

When she looks up at the one-way glass, her suspicions of being monitored are confirmed. She moves into a tight crouch, never taking her eyes off the glass. Her ears strain to hear any further clues as to who's watching. The noise came from someplace off to her left and she continues to stare at her reflection as she closes the gap.

Kara has always been a huntress, a predator, but now her senses are heightened from two months of deprivation. There may be other reasons tied into One and her role as the Guardian, but Kara isn't ready to admit to those yet.

The glass is impenetrable to the eye but she can feel someone there...hovering on the other side of her reflection. She reaches out to the cool glass and skims her left hand above it, not touching, just sensing…cold, cold, less cold, warm, warmer, warm…back…there!

Her pulse is racing, and when she finally presses her palm and fingers firmly against the glass, it's hard to be certain that the heat she feels isn't her own. Except it's not. She knows this. Knows it as well as she knows that the warmth feeding through the glass is coming from Lee.

That little current of energy that sparks on her skin whenever they touch is currently dancing along her hand and up her arm. It tickles. A sensation so foreign of late that it makes her grin. A shiver runs down her spine and Kara knows that Lee's watching her. That makes her smile.

She tries to find his gaze and settles about 6 inches above her hand and waits. If her aim is off, he'll compensate. She feels a renewed pressure on the glass, confirmation that she has his eyes.

There's so much she wants to say, but something in her gut urges discretion and silence. _We're not alone._

**Author's Note: What did you think? Reviews are appreciated...but mostly because they're like crack!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: I wrote this chapter earlier but I had a lot of issues loading it here. Sorry for the delay.**

**Chapter 11**

"It's Thrace, she's human, and for the most part she seems physically fit."

"For the most part?" Lee queries.

Cottle takes a moment to draw on his cigarette, considering how to phrase his response without raising the hackles on the trio before him. Leave it to Starbuck to return from the dead and **not** be a cylon. "She's lost muscle mass since the last time I examined her, but she's not malnourished. Her only complaint seems to be hypersensitivity."

Bill gives up the pretense of playing the commanding officer; here in life-station he's a father waiting to hear news about his little girl. "Hypersensitive? To what?"

"Just about damn near everything…light, sound, smell, touch, and taste. In fact, when she was here the only thing she did, besides give me a hard time, was bitch that life-station smelled like a corpse immersed in alcohol. Soon as I was done, I had the marines escort her back to the cylon containment cell."

Lee's emotions flip end over end, from relief to rage, "Why? You said yourself, its Kara."

"I said it's Thrace and I meant it. I also said she's coping with sensory overload and that holding area is one of the only controlled environments on this ship. She'll have an easier time readjusting in there. Now if you'll kindly excuse me, I have other patients to see." He turns towards his office, but the President's voice stops his progress.

"Can we speak with her?"

Cottle quirks an eyebrow at that, "Not sure how much good it will do you. She wasn't very cooperative when she was here, but that's nothing new." He gives Roslin a curt nod of permission, "Just don't upset her."

"You think she's unstable?" Adama asks.

Cottle takes the last drag of his cigarette, "I think she's Starbuck."

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Lee stalks down the corridor struggling to control his temper. The way people are moving out of his path is a testament to the extent of his failure. His mind flashes back to his conversation with the Admiral and President moments before.

_"Lee, I know that you're very close with Captain Thrace, but I think, and the Admiral agrees, that our first interview with her should be as objective as possible." _

_"Objective?" Lee shakes his head, "Whatever it is you have to say, just say it." _

_She smiles and nods, to signify that the gloves are coming off. "I think you're entirely too close to the subject and I think your emotional investment is counterproductive to our cause." _

_"And I think you're a fool if you expect her to open up to you just because you're the President." _

_His father's voice rumbles, softly, "She won't be going in alone." _

_He should be used to his father and Roslin pulling this bullshit, but with the revelation of the Final Five, he thought they were finally moving forward, as equals. He should have frakkin' known better! Lee tucks his anger back and tries to appeal to their sense of reason. "Two against one isn't a strategy that she'll look kindly on. You'll put her on the defensive and she'll shut you out." His father meets his eye, "You know I'm right." _

_"Maybe. But we don't know how much her experience with the cylons has changed her." Those grey blue eyes turn weary and sad, "She may not be our Kara." _

_It's the fear that's gnawed at him since her return and he swallows back the bile rising in his throat. "All the more reason to surround her with people she knows and trusts." The two of them share a patronizing look, so reminiscent of one's between his father and mother, that it makes Lee want to scream in frustration. _

_"I agree." Lee looks up, startled by Laura's admission, "But from what I've witnessed, although you have a long history with Kara, it's also a tumultuous one." _

_His discomfort turns to indignation when his dad continues, "I think what Kara needs right now is a bit of stability." _

_That hurts. But that sting is nothing compared to the one he felt when Kara neglected to visit him after he was shot. How will she feel if she returns from the dead and he's not part of her welcoming party…or worse yet, he leaves her to the mercy of an inquisitorial squad? Lee knows that he's being irrational, that their intentions are not so sinister, but Kara has a special talent for bringing his emotions to the surface. He concedes _that_ is the real reason they don't want him there for the first round of questioning. Lee sighs in resignation, "What do you propose I do in the meantime?" _

_"Well…when was the last time you visited your client?" There's a glimmer of dark humor behind Laura's eyes, "In order to keep up appearances, I think it best if you return to work on Dr. Baltar's trial." _

Suddenly Lee is standing outside the brig without the slightest memory of having walked here. Honestly, he hasn't spared Gaius Baltar a single thought since this whole 'Final Five/Guardian' mess started the other day.

The past 5 interviews involved him questioning Baltar and Caprica in adjoining cells. The idea being that, by listening to them interact and play off one another, he'd gain a better insight into how to position Baltar's 'Love' defense. He grudgingly believes in the concept, but he's found nothing significant from these discussions that would convince a jury. Lee was shocked to find that the cylon displayed more obvious signs of ardor, than his human client. His traitorous mind cannot help but compare some of Caprica's forlorn looks at Baltar with a few of Kara's tentative smiles at him. He clamps down on the slow burn of shame ripping at his gut and tries to focus on how to conduct today's interview.

The usefulness of their present course of action has been exhausted. It's time to try a different approach with his wayward lovers.

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The hollow clang of a closing hatch wrestles Gaius Baltar from a troubled sleep. He blinks and slowly Lee Adama's form takes on an increasingly coherent shape. "Where have you been?" His voice is scratchy and dry and he clears his throat to repeat the question, but Caprica intervenes.

She's watching closely as the younger Adama settles himself at the table before them, "You missed our appointment yesterday." She turns towards the steel bars shared by their adjacent cell, meeting Baltar's eye, "Problems in the fleet?" The mischievous smile on her lips infects the inquiry.

Gaius sends her a chastising glare and tries to diffuse the snark from her previous comment, "Nothing serious I hope?" The last thing he wants to do is piss off his only human advocate. The look he receives from Mr. Adama is a mixture of skepticism and confusion.

"Nothing for you to worry about."

"Well I've heard rumors that the trial was becoming a point of contention within the fleet and I certainly don't wish to tarnish my image further." He smiles nervously and he can see Caprica roll her eyes as she turns her back on both of them. "So, then…where did we leave off?"

"We were discussing the events leading up to the exodus on New Caprica," Lee turns the full force of his coldest stare solely on Baltar, "and how you signed the death warrant for over 200 colonial citizens."

Gaius shrinks back, not from Lee's tone, but at the memory of that day. He was so despondent and, yet for the first time in his life, he took a stand that had nothing to do with his own self preservation. Though others may dismiss the effort in favor of the outcome, in the life of Gaius Baltar, it was an act of unparalleled grace. It wasn't until he saw the smoking hole in Caprica's head and felt the searing muzzle of that same gun pressed to his temple, that the futility and fear conquered him. He swallows back the regret of another failed chance at heroism, "We've already gone over that incident. I told you, all I remember is Doral screaming at me and the pressure of the gun against my head. I know that I signed the paper, but I think we can all agree that the circumstances fall into the realm of _extreme duress_."

"Coercion is a good defense, but we have no witnesses."

Caprica turns back to face Lee, defiance radiating from her posture, "I can corroborate Gaius's chain of events, right up until the moment Doral shot me." Her tirade is met with stark silence, "Oh, I see." She turns to Gaius, "Cute. He's not listening to me….because _they_ won't listen to me either. I'm a cylon, which means my testimony is worthless. Isn't that right?"

Lee shakes his head, "We're going to lose this case if you don't help me Doc."

"Is that the point you're trying to make? That the jury will dismiss her testimony because she's a cylon?" Gaius grows increasingly disquieted by the way Lee Adama stares at him in silent reply. He tosses his hands up and leans his head against the bars, he can feel her lithe fingers cover over his and squeeze. "If they're going to discredit her or disallow her as a witness, then I'm a dead man."

"We'll just need to come up with a new defense." The soothing tone of her voice nearly convinces him that everything will be alright.

He pulls back to look into her eyes, "You're right, we can't give up hope." He turns back to face Lee, who's watching them with rapt attention, "If we're going to come up with a new strategy then three of us need to brainstorm."

Lee presses, "The three of us?"

His annoyance with Lee Adama has reached its zenith, "Yes! I know she's a cylon and you've proven your point that, as such, her testimony is worthless in the eyes of the everyday colonial citizen. However, I won't stand for you treating her this way."

"And how am I mistreating her?"

Gaius rolls his eyes and gestures to the Amazon beauty to his left, "By ignoring her presence and input."

"Caprica?"

"YES! Six, Caprica Six, Caprica…call her what you will but have the decency to acknowledge her. Especially when all she's trying to do is help!"

Her soft smile is a dazzling reward, but her words send a chill down his spine, "I hope you remember that when this is over, Gaius."

Faintly he can hear the Major calling to him, "Gaius. Gaius! Look at me!" Baltar turns away from her siren song to meet Lee Adama's solemn gaze.

"As your defense attorney, I'm recommending that you change your plea to not guilty, by reason of insanity."

Gaius stares at him dumbfounded. He almost gets the first syllable of outrage past his lips when he feels _her_ hands snake around his middle and her body press against his backside. His eyes shift to the right and tears begin to fall from them, as a barren cell stares back at him.

Six slides a hand up to his neck and coos into his ear, "I'm sorry Gaius, but this was the only way to save you."

He trembles at enormity of her salvation and his defeat. There's no way to rationalize today's events. Lee and the guard were both witnesses, and all the interviews in this room are video recorded as a safety precaution. He has no doubt that today's tape will be the evidence that spares his life and condemns his reputation. He sinks to the floor and pulls his knees to his chest, tears streaming all the while.

Six wipes a tear away with her thumb and winces when he turns his head away from her ministrations of comfort. "God has spared you, Gaius."

It's the final straw, the last crack that breaks the true barrier between genius and psychosis, "I am damned!" He shouts it so loudly, even the marine on guard jumps, but he doesn't care. Gaius stands on his feet, toe-to-toe with his angel turned demon and embraces his fate, "Frak you and your God and leave me to my madness."

Somehow, Lee knows that Baltar's last words were meant for his _visionary_ Six, but it also serves as his dismissal. As he grabs the tape from the monitoring station, Lee catches a glimpse of the live feed, where Gaius Baltar has returned to sitting on the floor in a tight ball. At that moment, he feels a pang of genuine sympathy for this small man, so tormented by his love for a woman, that it cost him his sanity.

Lee walks down the causeway in the direction of Kara's holding cell and admits to himself that perhaps it was kinship, rather than pity that he felt for Baltar.

**Author's Note: I felt the need to visit Baltar again and this is the way I had hoped they would resolve his trial. Never mind the final cylon reveals...I want someone to realize that Gaius is completely nuts and sees a ChipSix! I promise more Kara in the next chapter! Reviews are appreciated. **


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimers-I don't own these characters, Ron Moore does

Chapter 12

Lee closes the door to the observation room behind him gently, yet the sound echoes in the stark silence. Immediately, he turns to activate the comms and listen in, only to discover they're already on. With the window situated at the vantage point of looking down the table, he can see his father and Roslin sitting across from Kara. Aside from a crackle of static, the broadcast coming from the interrogation room consists of nothing but baited breathes.

Kara's still donning the tanks and cargo pants that she was discovered in and her hair looks as though she combed it with her fingers. In short, she's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. The only thing missing is her smile and by the looks of things, that's not likely to change anytime soon.

Her attitude of indifference is painful to observe. The fear that Kara is beyond help is debilitating, and as much as it shames him to admit it, that fear is the reason he didn't fight harder against his father and Roslin. If Lee were sitting in that room right now, her apathy might break him and that was a risk humanity couldn't afford. It's the barest glimpses of her old mannerisms that sustain his hope.

Outwardly, she looks relaxed, but Lee knows by the way that she's clenching her jaw that she's anxious, alert. He remembers seeing that same tautness build within her facial features when she'd climb into the cockpit as the claxons rang. A flash of starry sky framing her face, sends a ripple of heat through his body and reminds him how he expelled that tension once before. All too vividly, he recalls how the muscles along her neck and chin melted against his lips as he thrust into her and he can almost hear the way she chanted his name, breathless and demanding. The sound of his father's voice calling out Kara's name, clashes horribly against his revelry, and Lee can see his reminiscent smile fade in the mirror's reflection.

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"Kara?" Bill's heart clenches as she ignores him and continues to stare, unflinching, at a point in the middle of the table. He feels Laura's hand slip into his beneath the table and squeeze gently. It gives him the courage to try again, but this time his voice carries more authority, less of a question and more of a call to attention, "Kara."

She doesn't change her demeanor in the slightest, which makes her sudden reply all the more startling, "You're looking for Kara?" There's a beat of absolute silence, "So am I."

Coming from Starbuck, those words penetrate deeper than any of the rounds Boomer fired into his chest. He finds it difficult to breathe as fear takes the lead in the race against hope. Bill extends his hand into the field of vision where her eyes are set, "Let us help you."

Slowly Kara's eyes travel from his hand, up his arm, finally meeting the Old Man's gaze, "Us?" Her eyes flick quickly over to Roslin and she quirks her brow in an obvious display of doubt. "I don't believe you."

"Captain Thrace, I know that we can't even begin to appreciate what you've been through these past few weeks, but I give you my word that I'll use every resource at my disposal to help you piece together what you've lost."

Kara stares at the President, "You're not interested in what I lost. You want to know what I found. You don't want to talk to Kara," she leans forward her tone dropping as though she were divulging a secret, "you want to talk to the Guardian." She shakes her head, "Not happening."

She turns sharply to the Admiral, "I can't be the good little soldier right now. I can't even be the rebellious, frak-up, Starbuck." Kara leans back in her chair and looks at the ceiling, speaking to everyone and no-one but herself, "Kara is the piece that ties all those identities together and I don't know how to find her. She's lost." She drops her head back down and smiles sadly at the pair across from her, "And neither of you can help me find her." She drifts her eyes to the Old Man, apology and pleading in equal measures, "You've seen most of the pieces, but _he's _seen the whole. I need to be whole again." She reaches out and takes the hand he extended before, "I need to be me."

William Adama nods slowly.

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Once inside the observation room Laura spins on her heel and pins Bill with a hard gaze, "I'd like you to explain exactly what you just committed us to with that nod to the prisoner."

"She's not a prisoner." The sentence echoes around her in a freakish version of Adama-stereo sound.

Laura takes a deep breathe, "Just because she isn't a cylon does not mean that we can dismiss her as a potential threat."

Lee can barely keep the exasperation from his tone, "She doesn't even remember who she is?"

Laura turns and watches Kara sitting for a moment, "I think she's confused, but she's not as naïve as the two of you would like to believe." She turns her most penetrating stare back on Bill, "That's why I want to know what, exactly, it is you agreed to?"

Bill's eyes cast a fleeting look in Lee's direction, before returning to the Presidents, and when he does, there's recognition dawning behind her sharp eyes.

Lee clears his throat and pushes the uncomfortable weight of their collective stares aside, "There's no one alive who has known Kara Thrace longer than I have. She's my best friend. We have been there for each other through flame and fire, love and war, life and…death." Laura cocks her head at him, truly curious, and Lee continues, "I've lost track of the number of times, she's saved my life, but I owe her a few. Let me help her." He knows his father is in his corner, but Laura still seems unconvinced. Lee decides to adapt his approach, "She's no good to us in this state. If you want answers, then you're going to have to trust me. Didn't you tell Kara that you'd use 'every resource available' to help her recover?"

Laura scowls at having her words thrown back at her that way, but seeing the teasing smile on Lee's lip diminishes the sting. "What do you propose?"

"Well for starters, I refuse to grill her like she's the enemy. No interrogation room. Kara doesn't respond well to such petty intimidation tactics. I'll be more successful if she feels comfortable, safe…Senior Officer's Quarters."

"That's a good idea." Bill smiles at the surprised look on his son's face, "She may be more receptive if she feels she has the home court advantage."

Lee returns his father's smile with one of his own, "Aside from her viper, I think SOQ is our best option."

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As the wheel on the hatch turns over Lee feels adrenaline rush through his veins. Kara's presence has always wreaked havoc on his senses but the faint scent of her that precedes her entry causes his hands to shake; after so many weeks of withdrawal he's desperate for another hit of his favorite drug.

The guards escort her across the threshold, but she keeps her eyes trained on the ground. Lee gestures to the cuffs binding her, "You can take those off and then hold position outside." The marines follow his commands swiftly and Lee offers them a quick salute of dismissal. Kara doesn't move until the hatch is closed firmly into place, and even then, it's only a quick survey of her surroundings. She falters briefly when she meets his gaze.

Lee tries to keep his movements slow and deliberate, so as not to scare her. She seems to be muttering something and as he draws closer, her ramblings become more coherent.

"I can't believe…I can't…" a soft laugh intersperses that same phrase, over and over, until he's standing in front of her. She falls silent, studying her feet, waiting.

"Kara?" He reaches out tentatively and touches her elbow. She shudders and mirrors his movements, clasping his elbow, pressing her forearm flush against his. Gently he cups her chin, drawing her eyes to his. She leans into his touch, closing her eyes briefly, and Lee swears she sighs a little when he pulls her closer.

When he draws back to look at her again, Kara's wearing her most impish grin, and there's a sweet, if not patronizing, lilt to her voice, "I can't believe they bought that."

**Author's Note: Are you confused yet? Answers are coming I swear...actually a lot are coming in the next chapter. It's a scientific fact that reviews help people write faster...and by 'scientific fact' I mean my own conjecture, and by 'people' I mean me. Hugs for reading, kisses for reviewers. Cheers!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note: Wow...apparently 12 is the magic number. Twelve reviews is the point where I begin to shirk my real life responsibilities, in favor of writing the next chapter in this story. Seriously though...thank you to all the reviewers...it really is appreciated and the best motivator. This chapter is kinda 'M' ratings wise, but this will be an exception rather than a rule. **

Excerpt from Chapter 12:

When he draws back to look at her again, Kara's wearing her most impish grin, and there's a sweet, if not patronizing, lilt to her voice, "I can't believe they bought that."

Chapter 13

"What!?!" Lee sputters on the word pushing her back to a full arms length.

Kara sighs deeply, "Lee, I knew the minute they walked me to the interrogation room that they weren't going to let me see you. I was a little surprised that the Old Man went along with Roslin's 'hard line' approach, but I can't fault him for being cautious." She takes a step back from Lee, but entwines her fingers with his, forcing him to move with her as she sits on the table.

"Kara how could you do that to him? He thinks that a woman he loves like a daughter is suffering and lost. Hell, I was watching through the glass and I damn near cried!"

He cups the side of her face frantically and she can feel slight scratches from his nails as he digs in to get a good hold on her. She places her hands on his hips and drags him closer to her body. Her senses are still reeling a bit, but for the first time, the sensory overload is a pleasant one...she's inundated with Lee Adama and it's the sweetest kind of torture. She finally moves one hand to cover his and bravely meets his desperate eyes, "Lee, it wasn't a lie. I may have laid the drama on a bit thick," she dons a humorless smile, "But there's a lot going on up here," she points to her temple. "Most of it has to do with all the different roles I'm supposed to be playing and that's why _they_ couldn't help me."

Somehow his tone manages to convey both uncertainty and promise, "But I can?" She nods…and then…then she smiles. The first true Kara Thrace smile he's seen since they spoke on the hanger deck that fateful day. Lee is so overwhelmed by the warring emotions of loss, elation, anger, and frustration that he's literally struck dumb. He leans down and kisses her wildly, driven by the chaos consuming him. Kara is alive and it's a truth he needs to drink from her lips before he can believe. It's nothing like the relieved kiss they shared when she returned from Caprica. It's a passionate gesture that transcends the definition of a kiss and instead becomes a language to express 'them' where words have failed.

Kara pulls back a short distance, but she's unable to stop the tremble that wracks her body. "I needed that."

Lee chuckles deeply and proceeds to plant soft kisses along her hairline, "Is that why I was the only one who could help you?"

She glances at him curiously, "What if I told you it was?"

Lee smirks, "So let me guess, in order to become the Guardian," he kisses her neck, nipping at her earlobe, "you need my help to transcend to an 'enlightened' state of consciousness." She tenses beneath his lips and a distant, distraught look steals over her features. "Kara?"

Kara exhales slowly, knowing that little slip of control will cost her dearly. She seeks to divert him, "It's nothing," but the look in his eyes tells her to prepare for battle. _Frak._

She's pulling away and building up her defenses and it stings like a slap to the face. After all they've been through and the ruse she just played; she thinks she's going to shut him out? "Nothing my ass." Although Lee strives to prevent the irritation from creeping into his voice, he can tell by her fiery glare that he's unsuccessful.

She leans back, "Alright, it's nothing I want to talk about. Is that better?"

"No. I don't even know what the hell just happened." The concern begins to edge out the anger, "What did I say to upset you?"

Unconsciously he closes the distance and begins to stroke the back of her arms, with a tenderness she's unequipped to resist. She bites her lip and just focuses on the sensation. She knew that Lee was going to want answers, but she was hoping for a reprieve; a chance to clear her head. "I need it!" Kara is unaware that she spoke those words aloud until the warming friction of his touch falters.

"What do you need, Kara?"

She opens her eyes and stands so that she's flush against him, "I need you." She kisses him softly, murmuring across his lips, "I need this." She encircles his waist with her arms, "I need to be me." Kara can see him struggling against the haze of lust and makes her final plea, "No Starbuck. No Guardian. Kara. Just me. Just us?"

'Vulnerable strength' seems like a contradictory description, but it's the best definition for the aura radiating from her. Lee finds that he can only respond by repeating the promise he made so many weeks before, "Whatever it takes."

Her head drops to his shoulder with a sigh and she lays down the rules, "Now…no history…no future…just now." He nods his assent to solely focus on the present, "And no questions. In fact," her lips twinge into a smirk, "it's probably best if we don't talk at all."

The challenge is implicit and Lee wants nothing more than to drive her to the brink, screaming his name, forcing her to break her own rule.

He takes her hand and splays them, palm to palm against his own, and so it begins. Wherever his hands go, his lips follow. The layers of clothing disappear and Kara doesn't know how or why. It doesn't matter because it's only the heat of his caress, the moisture of his mouth that can hold her attention. The cold specter of death is siphoned from her body by his ministrations and expelled completely when he enters her.

Lee doesn't need to remember her rules because he can think of nothing but **now**…being inside her, feeling her pulse beat around him, her panting breathes against his shoulder…so perfect…so…alive. Her nails carve a claim of owner ship across his back and he quickens his pace until she's clenching so tight, Lee thinks himself immobile. But she chooses that moment to sear him with her greatest branding tools. Her lips prompt his revival, but it's the sweep of her tongue against his that unleashes the madness within.

She's bathed in a fine sheen of sweat and it's a baptism into life anew. Kara breaks her vow and calls to the gods, because there's nothing holier than this experience. It's odd how fracturing the body can heal the soul, but as the thrum of their bodies crest and crash, she feels the truth of it.

In the moment she comes, Lee can see the creation of peace within her eyes, feels it fill behind his own, flooding over in scant tears of joy that she kisses away. "Kara?"

She smiles broadly in reassurance, "Yeah," she kisses his chest in thanks, and curls up against his side.

All the pieces have come together now that Kara has found her center again. It's a blessing for her sanity, but bears with it, a burden she can no longer ignore. Soon the questions will come and the Guardian will reweave the tapestry of their world.

**Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed...for those of you who were in this for substance without any hint of romance, too bad! If it makes you feel better, I promise that the relationship is important to the overall story arc and it's not just plain smut. Again...I have no shame and I beg for reviews. **


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Lee breathes deeply but holds his silence. He's taking his queue from Kara. The last thing he wants to do is spook her, but they're going to have to talk soon. For the moment, he busies himself by drawing across her back with lazy fingers. She hums pleasantly in response and it makes him smile, but as his capacity for rational thought enhances in the diminishing afterglow, a crease forms in his brow and the smile fades away.

"Go ahead and ask." Kara lifts her head up when Lee startles beneath her. She catches a glimpse of a worried frown on his handsome face, a split second before he replaces it with a light teasing smirk.

"You're granting me permission to speak now? How gracious of you."

"Lee, you were drawing question marks along my back for the past two minutes?"

Her eyes twinkle, but the mirth within them is measured. It dries his mouth with fear, making it harder to ask, "Let's start at the beginning."

"You mean the end" she corrects knowingly. His eyes are haunted and she can almost see him reliving those final moments, frame by frame like a macabre motion picture.

"Why did you do it Kara?"

Leave it to Lee to ask the hardest question in the most deceptively simple terms. "All my life, I've been told that I was special, but I never believed it." Kara drops her eyes from his and studies the fine stubble along his jaw, brushing it with her fingers. "Since I was a child, I drew that image…those circular rings of color. I just liked the pattern." She takes a deep steadying breathe, "I never thought it was a vision of my future…the siren call of my death." She feels his jaw tense beneath her lithe fingers and she tries to soothe it away with a slow string of kisses towards his ear. "It's okay Lee." The warmth of his face along hers is wrest aside with a violent jerk as he pulls back to look at her properly.

"It's not okay." Lee threads his fingers tightly through the short strands of blonde hair at the base of her neck. The urgency of his message is undeniable, "I watched you die Kara. I posted your picture on the wall beside Kat." Fear and anger inject his words with an animalistic growl, "That is not okay."

His flare of temper sparks hers, triggering a dormant stockpile of emotional landmines. "You _watched_ me die, Lee. I _died_." She fixes him with a hard gaze and slowly pins his hands at his sides, "I had to die listening to you begging me to come back. Knowing that you were going to blame yourself for my choice…and it was my choice. I don't care what Sam or any of the other Final Five say…I didn't accept or relent…I chose my destiny by making the ultimate sacrifice."

The fire burning in her eyes warms him despite the morbidity of the topic. This is the Kara Thrace he knows best; the fighter who brings the battle on her own terms…Artemis. The welcome sight of his restored goddess cannot keep the bitterness at bay for long, "What kind of destiny is death?"

Her eyes grow distant, "Mortality is the common denominator of all life. It's the destiny we all share."

There's something unnerving about the way she says it. It reminds him of the day she recited poetry by Kataris. There's a learned quality to the words but she infuses them with emotion because she believes them, even though the concept is not her own. Lee cannot argue the logic that death is a natural and inevitable event, and yet Kara Thrace is here, living. "I guess that rule doesn't apply to you? You're alive…in direct contradiction to the series of events that occurred…you're alive."

Kara chooses her words carefully, "You want to know what happened to me Lee, and I can't tell you. It's not that I don't want to, it's just that, there are no words to explain it." She runs her fingers through her hair, pushing the wayward strands back from her face. "All I can tell you is that death is a doorway, but it doesn't lead us all to the same place. As the Guardian, mine was a revolving door. It was the will of the Gods that I circle back and use what I learned to protect their children."

With his hands freed, Lee pushes up into a seated position and extends his hand to her. Kara ignores the proffered hand and makes herself comfortable straddling his lap. Her weight is a comfort, her sweet heat a dangerous invitation, but he can't afford to be distracted. "So the gods restored your life, to save humanity, and then left you in the care of the cylons?" A hint of sarcasm leaks out despite Lee's best efforts.

"The Lords work in mysterious ways…or in this case, they work through One."

A chill runs down his spine, "One? The leader of the Final Five saved you?"

"The Gods saved me" she corrects with a meaningful stare, "and they…" she trips on the words, "…they…" she tears her gaze away, unable to risk seeing the loss of his faith when she says it, "they spoke to me."

She whispers the words so softly that Lee needs to lean closer to hear properly. "Kara?" Her head snaps up sharply at his questioning tone and there's defiance etched in the lines around her mouth.

"I know you don't believe in the Gods Lee, but…" her tirade is cut short by a sound kiss that builds in intensity until she's breathless.

Lee smiles at the soft pants of breathe caressing his cheek, "There are a lot of things I never believed in before this war. The only constant in my life Kara, is that I believe in you." He strokes his thumb over her lip and kisses her chastely. "So tell me…what did they say?"

"They said, 'All of this has happened before and all of it will happen again…you are the Guardian of the instrument of change…freedom from the cycle of time. One will show you the way.' And then I woke up."

"With One?"

Her eyes are fathomless, "Yes. And I learned everything about the Final Five, the Seven Siblings, the scriptures, and what needs to be done to save us. And then it was only a matter of waiting."

"For what?"

Kara shakes her head in dismissal, "I can't get into that right now."

"Kara we've been in here for well over two hours, they're going to expect me to have some answers." Her eyes flash and she pushes back, grabbing whatever errant clothes are within reach and begins to dress.

"Well that's too damn bad." Kara pulls the tanks over her head and notes that Lee is starting to follow suit. The anger fades leaving a tormented sadness in its wake, "You don't know what you're asking for…your questions and the truths that will come out…will change everything. I have that knowledge, I know what's coming, and I'm asking you to trust me." She kneels before him and clasps their hands together, "It's important that you understand that this," she kisses him deeply, "this" she touches their foreheads and drinks in cool blue eyes, "this is what's important."

Lee's smile is terse, "My father and the President will likely disagree." Her reply is crisp and humorless and it makes the hairs on his forearm rise.

"Well I have the advantage of foresight." She rubs his arms, soothing the gooseflesh, "Reflecting on days like today will give us strength going forward. Look at me." She waits until he obeys, "I've made some horrible mistakes in the past, and I'm being given a second chance with you, but I need you to know that you are my…" Her words falter, not because she doubts her emotions, but because the proper definition is elusive.

"Love?" he prompts. Lee cannot suppress the boyish grin spreading across his face, nor the impulse to tease her continued hesitance. The prospect of a fresh start with Kara is a tantalizing gift that he never dared imagine.

"I wish that I could tell you that I love you." His face looks crestfallen and she can feel his jaw harden at her words, but she presses on, "I loved Zach. I loved Sam. With you?" she cups his face "That's not enough. Even when shouted to the skies, 'love' is inadequate." She pulls his forehead against her own, clutching the base of his neck, "Is there even a word for this?" She swallows hard, "For us?" Kara can feel the reverence in his gaze and knows that he understands.

Her lips taste of confusion, but they find their purpose against his. There's no glossary of terms in the depths of her mouth, but Lee searches just the same. When he breaks for a breath, he tries valiantly to complete the task she's set him. "Kara, you are my…" Lee releases a short puff of laughter at his failure and Kara follows suit, chuckling softly.

She draws away just enough to look in his eyes. "Not so easy is it?" His answering smile is rueful and those blue orbs are more intent then she's ever seen them.

He traces her face from temple to chin, then down to rest on her neck. Her eyes close reflexively as his lithe touch elicits a shiver. "If only."

Her eyes snap open wide with awe and her mouth curves into a soft secretive smile, "_Only._" She touches the side of his face, directs his eyes to hers, and gathers her courage, "You are my _only_."

It's exquisitely simple and yet, not at all…it's them.

Lee can feel her staccato breathe mingling with his, daring him to validate the claim. He surrenders with a feverish kiss that persists until his head grows light from lack of air. He thinks it strange how words with so few letters can contain such enormity. "Kara, you are my _only_."

Despite her best efforts, a tentative undertone skirts the word, "Always?"

If not for the fact that she already owns him heart and soul, Lee would classify her plea as desperate. But there's something much darker looming in that space…a reserve that doesn't suit her. Caution is a side of Kara he's rarely seen, but since her return he's felt its weight in all of their interactions. The affect of it in that single word is overpowering and instinctually he responds, "Always."

Kara watches those blue depths keenly, scouring for any hint of doubt or patronization. The knot in her chest unfurls when honesty is the only reflection she finds. "Good." She nods quickly and gives him a quick kiss, which Lee immediately deepens.

Before things get too intense they're interrupted by two quick raps on the hatch and Lee groans loudly as he pulls back. Kara is smiling smugly before him, perfectly aware and amused that he's in no condition to entertain anyone but her.

Kara doesn't even try to contain her glee as she gestures to the tent pole in Lee's slacks, "Problem?"

"Nothing you couldn't handle."

"Hmm….maybe later." She winks at him, but turns in exasperation towards the hatch when the banging continues. "I guess that means conjugal visiting hours are over."

Lee strides to the hatch and cracks it open, "Sergeant give us 5 minutes to wrap up here and then escort Starbuck back to containment. Keep a low profile. Understood?"

"Yes, sir."

Lee feels Kara's arms encircle him and push the hatch closed. He turns slowly in her loose embrace, "I don't know what to tell them."

"You could go with the truth." At his quirked eyebrow she elaborates, "Tell them that it took extensive coaxing and skill," she smiles lecherously, "but you finally were able to break through and reach me."

"I don't think I can deliver those lines with a straight face." In fact, he can feel a goofy grin spreading across his face at the mere thought.

"It's the truth minus the details, but that doesn't change the fact that now, thanks to you, I'm ready." The ballooning happiness seems to deflate as the path ahead looms. "Tell your father and the President to assemble Cain, Zarek, Dee, Sam, Athena, and Helo as soon as possible."

She takes a step back from him and Lee can see Capt. Thrace reporting for duty. "The agenda?"

"Just tell them…it's time."

**Author's Note: Thank you to all my lovely reviewers...you know they call those stats 'hits' for a reason...the drug analogy is crazy accurate. Every time I see one of those review emails some neuron signals the release of endorphins that spark my muse into writing more. Okay maybe it's not that visceral...but it makes me really happy. I'm approaching the 100 reviews mark and if you guys get me there by the weekend...I promise to blow your minds come Monday...deal? Hope you're enjoying the calm before the storm because the shit is about to hit the fan.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Note: A special thank you to all the reviewers who helped me reach (and surpass) the 100 review milestone...catn3d, Uberscribbler, Elliesmeow, angelstryst, cheryldetrick, Jamieson Z, jamy21, JB twilightforever, gibgirl04, Aleja21, lunar47, pilotlover, BlackRaven, Sereko, bowedbassgirl, & thinktink2! You guys rock. So my apologies for not posting Monday...but I ran into a snag on the chapter ending. I'm happy with how it came out, but I'll let you be the judge. Thanks again.**

Disclaimers-I don't own these characters, Ron Moore does

**Chapter 15**

'All of this has happened before and all of it will happen again…you are the Guardian of the instrument of change…freedom from the cycle of time. One will show you the way.'

Only Kara Thrace would open a volatile negotiation session with a quote from her afterlife experience. But Lee has to admit, that the result is spectacular; her declaration shocks the mixed collective into unanimous silence. While the majority of the group seems apprehensive, Lee is barely managing to restrain a smile. Kara has cast aside her guises of death and detachment in favor of animated bravado and suddenly, Starbuck lives. Her eyes are challenging as they roam over the assembly and the blaze within her never wavers, not even for him. It makes his lips twitch up just a little higher.

"In my journey through death, that was the message given to me by the Gods. It's time to forge a new path forward…together."

"The Gods spoke to you?" There's no trace of skepticism in Laura Roslin's voice, merely an earnest desire for validation. Capt. Thrace nods curtly in reply. "What do you think it means?"

Kara's smile is tight, "It means that we keep circling back and making the same mistakes. It means that I'm the Guardian and that One holds the knowledge of how to free our people…both of our people. It means we either fight together, or enslave future generations into our history."

Laura notes that there's no mention of Earth in this exposition, but before she can make further inquiries, Bill's voice rises above the din.

"How?" The stark hazel of Kara's eyes baths him in a wordless apology for her earlier distance and he accepts with the merest tilt of his head. The hard line of her mouth softens and Bill redirects her back to task, "How can 'we' help? We're mere mortals with limited resources. What advantage can humanity possibly offer the Final Five?"

Conditioning takes over and the answer flows from her lips, "Mortality is the common denominator of all life. It's the destiny we all share."

The words slip down the column of his spine like drops of ice. Kara gave him the exact same response when Lee questioned the merit of death being her destiny. He realizes now that she's repeating a lesson learned. 'One will show you the way.' His palms begin to sweat, but his rational mind gathers enough control to point out, "The cylons resurrect, they can't die."

Kara looks down to the tables end, "The Final Five can die." She nods towards Cain who leans forward in her chair, "Tell them."

Helena smiles enigmatically at the Admiral and President, "As you know our identities were kept a secret from the other Seven, which means there's no endless supply of bodies for our models waiting on a resurrection ship…that would be bit conspicuous. In the event that we were killed in the attack on the colonies, we were each provided with a single body for download. If you're measuring life based upon the shear ability to die," her eyes rest briefly upon Sharon, "then I'm as human as all of you."

Athena feels her husband press his hand into hers in silent support, "If you think my outlook on death is any sunnier, you're wrong." The unease within her coils in itself, "The only thing awaiting me upon death is eternity in a box. I've got just as much to lose here as any of you."

"You'll have to forgive Helena's hostility." Tom sends Cain a chastening glare, "Her experiences with the Seven have left her a bit jaded."

Sharon stiffens in her seat, "Yes, I remember." She looks to the Admiral, "Do you remember Sir? Do you recall how she authorized members of the Pegasus crew to 'extract' information from me by any means necessary?" Her eyes dart to Cain, cold and unforgiving, "And after their attempts failed, you tried to execute the men who saved me. If it wasn't for Helo and the Chief, I might have shared Six's fate."

Cain rises from her chair, "Don't talk to me about **her**. You don't have the slightest idea what happened, what that creature did to my crew…"

"There is no justification for the cruelty you allowed," Sharon is on her feet, ignoring Helo's tug at her elbow, "at least the Seven never sunk so low as to rape their captives."

"How do you define rape?" The venom in her voice is cold and all eyes turn slowly towards their source. Sharon is the last to meet her gaze and noting her confusion, Kara clarifies, "Because as I recall, members of the Seven Siblings had scores of women strapped down in beds against their will on Caprica." Kara tugs at the hem of her tanks and pushes the waist of her BDU's down to reveal her crescent shaped reminder of the cylon farms. "Just because the cylons were more clinical about their methods, doesn't mean the violation was any less repellent."

Sharon swallows the bile rising in her throat and allows Helo to guide her back into her seat. All of her righteous indignation is deflated by that shiny patch of scarred flesh across Starbuck's abdomen.

Kara takes a deep breathe and focuses on the memory of Lee's feather-light kisses across her stomach. Recalling the way he gently traced the puckered skin with his lips allows her to associate a new shiver with that mark; one based out of desire rather than dread. The fear and anger fade to black and her eyes snap open.

Kara looks across the expanse of the table and decides to start with the underlying principle that's deluding them all. "We convince ourselves that the enemy is somehow less than we are….that they don't value life the way we do or share any of our values." She looks at Cain, "We can justify torturing them," Roslin, "air-locking them," and finally Sharon, "or experimenting on them, because we're better?" Kara pauses, "There will be no alliance and only suffering if we continue to believe in that lie. We have to accept that we are at war with another culture, another people, and we can't hide behind our heritage." She looks at the Admiral, "We'll fight to survive. And it will be ugly and it will leave a scar on our souls, but that's the price every guardian pays." She speaks to the assembly, "We'll conduct ourselves with honor and without the comforting self-deception of 'us versus them'. We fight for our collective survival or we revisit our sins on our children."

Bill looks at his son, sitting across from him, enraptured by Kara's words. He feels both pride and protectiveness envelope him simultaneously and the words come of their own volition, "What do we do?"

"We start with the first step in establishing any formal alliance," Laura looks for Kara's approval and continues when the younger woman nods, "we set an objective and terms. However, there's still the matter of the Final Five's lack of representation." She sets an appreciative eye on Captain Thrace, "We were told that you would vouch for One's allegiance to this treaty."

"I know the terms that One requests for the Final Five and I know what they can offer to help us defeat the other Seven. The Final Five may not have limitless downloads or squadrons of raiders, but One has information powerful enough to give us a fighting chance."

"Alright," Laura removes her glasses and rubs the bridge of her nose softly, "what are the conditions?"

"In exchange for helping humanity defeat the Seven Siblings, all One asks, is that the Final Five be allowed to secretly integrate into the fleet. In essence, they want to be treated as equals and for their identities as cylons to remain undisclosed."

"That could be problematic considering the former Admiral is supposed to be dead and we don't know the identity of One. Or will One remain in seclusion forever?" It's a valid point, but Lee is unprepared for the troubled look he receives from Kara. There's no anger or malice, but there's a genuine distress in her eyes and Lee feels the oppressive darkness looming again. Whatever the driving force behind this unseen peril, he knows that Kara is doing her best to shield him from it, while preparing him to face it.

"One will come when the time is right." Dee gasps slightly and Kara can see her trepidation and anticipation mirrored on the faces of the other three. "As for Helena…"

"I'll manage." Cain declares with confidence. "I was undercover for months among the civilians in the fleet and no one recognized me. As long as I steer clear of the military and you agree not to advertise my existence, I'm sure it won't be that difficult."

President Roslin folds her hands and considers her options. The heart of the matter comes down to trust…does she trust this Final Five collective…this Guardian, ordained by the Gods…this mysterious One? It's ridiculous…ludicrous even…and yet, she knows that everything that Kara's said is true. She knows it the same way she knew that the Arrow would lead them to the map of Earth. It's that touch of the divine that drives her response now, "Your terms are acceptable." She's only mildly surprised when Bill nods his consensus beside her.

"So we come back to the question you never answered before," Bill can't keep the teasing smile from his voice as he address Kara, "How can 'we' help? What's the fleet's role in this grand plan?"

"The fates of humanity and the Final Five have always been linked together and unbeknownst to all but the Gods and One, the fleet has been protecting the key to our salvation." Kara forces her palms flat against the table to keep them from shaking, "In order to defeat the Seven Siblings, we'll need the First."

Lee is heartened to see that he's not the only one who needs further explanation, in fact, there seem to be blank stares coming in from every direction. But when he looks at Kara, her drawn, pale complexion floods his blood with adrenaline and anxiety, "The first what? What is that?"

"Who." Kara responds distantly, "The First is a who, not a what." When Lee extends a comforting hand towards her, Kara simply cannot take it. She curses the Gods under her breathe for laying this burden on her shoulders. She exhales slowly and addresses the room, "I am the Guardian of the First…the first cylon-human hybrid."

"Hera?" Helo can feel his wife stiffen beside him when he asks the question, but the fear rearing inside urges him to press forward, "You want to use our child as a weapon against the Seven Siblings?"

Kara expected something like this, but the intensity of anger radiating off of Karl is foreign and disorienting. It all happens in the blink of an eye, one second she's about to answer Helo, and the next Sharon has her by the throat.

"If you such much as touch her, I swear to God…" Sharon stops mid-sentence when she feels her husband pulling her back with loving restraint. Reluctantly she releases her grip and when she does, her hands begin to shake.

A crowd has gathered around them and Kara wonders how she managed to frak things up so quickly.

Helo rubs along the length of Sharon's arms trying to soothe her, while containing his own outrage. The Admiral lays a comforting hand on his left shoulder and when Helo looks back he only sees a sympathetic parent who knows the torment of being asked to put his child in danger. He nods briefly and turns back to Kara, who's watching their exchange with the utmost sorrow. "I don't care if it's selfish, Hera is our daughter, and we've already had her taken from us once. I won't let it happen again."

She's poised at the precipice and the air seems thin. She can feel all of their expectant stares and knows that none of them are prepared for what comes next. Kara shakes her head dismissively and looks at her best friend, "It's not your child we need." She looks over his shoulder, to the man who loves her like a daughter and she steps over the edge into the abyss, "It's yours."

**Author's Note: Reviews are appreciated...rants are welcome...I kinda expect a few after this. Was it worth the wait or do you want your money back? Let me know.**


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimers-I don't own these characters, Ron Moore does

**Chapter 16**

It's happening again. There's no air and he's suffocating watching a battle wage as though from a great distance, but yet he's sitting at its center. In the stark silence, the sounds of everyone breathing is like the gentle lapping of water against his ears, enticing him into the cool depths of oblivion. Lee clings to that shred of hope, that promise of nothingness, because he'd rather be dead than an abomination.

He feels it the instant when Kara's eyes trail from his father over to him, but he cannot look at her. If he does it will be real, it will be true and, like before, Lee Adama will perish. Only this time, there is no escape. There's no chance of resuscitating a fragile human life, when your humanity is a lie.

No, if he looks at her, he'll be damned by the facet of his own existence. Instead Lee closes his eyes and waits.

The slap across his face a moment later, stirs a rattled breath from his immobilized lungs. It's his own fault for letting her out of his sight completely. That knowledge does nothing to soothe the sting of Kara's onslaught.

"Look at me you frakker." Kara hates that her voice has gone shrill, but Lee is turning a shade of grayish white, the muscles of his neck are bulging, and his body is trembling. "Damn it Lee, look at me and breathe."

Lee takes a deep breathe, turns away from her and steadies himself against the table. He opens his eyes cautiously but the sight before him is nauseating. The Final Five members are watching him intently. There's a measure of awe in each their stares, but it's the open reverence in Dee's eyes that makes his gut clench. The prisoners on the Astral Queen looked at Roslin in just that way…as though she were their savior…a messiah.

The scope of meaning behind Kara's revelation expands before him for the first time. Lee feels her move to stand off to his left and her voice reaches out from his memory. 'The fleet has been protecting the key to our salvation…in order to defeat the Seven Siblings, we'll need the First…the first cylon-human hybrid… it's not your child we need…it's yours.' It's me. I, Lee Adama, am the First. One is my…his thoughts are interrupted by his father calling his name.

"Lee?" Bill touches his eldest son on the shoulder, steeling himself for whatever may come. They can deal with the other repercussions of Kara's disclosure later; right now his only concern is Lee's deteriorating physical and mental state. "Son?"

Lee is unsure whether it's his father's gentle touch or the familial reference, but suddenly he's doubled over dry-heaving. As quickly as he's gasping for air, bile is rising up his throat. Lee drops to his knees and pitches his face forward over the waste basket. He wonders idly who thought to put it there, until he feels Kara's hand settle over his white-knuckle grip.

He finally raises his eyes to meet hers and finds a depth of understanding he hadn't expected. Kara simply nods at him and the intense sense of revulsion seems to quell. Her eyes never waiver from his until his breathing has evened out to match hers.

After a minute, his father kneels beside him and rubs his back in a comforting manner. The paternal gesture harkens back a childhood memory, when Lee was hospitalized for pneumonia at the age of seven…only that time, his father was on maneuvers and it was his mother rubbing soothing circles across his backside. Mom…Carol Anne Adama…One. Lee raises his gaze to meet his father's and upon seeing a desolation to match his own, he promptly vomits.

**Author's Note: Okay...I expect all kinds of shit for the length of time between posts, so have at it. By way of explanation, first my muse left me, then work got crazy, and then I started looking at buying a house, which is a major time, money, & energy zapper. I'd appreciate a review thrown in between the flames, but I'm more than happy if you just continue reading.**

**This chapter is for Uberscribbler, who consistently emailed me to make sure I was alive and not dropping the story. I'm sorry that this chapter is so short, but I was determined to get something new posted and I wanted to focus on Lee's reaction to Kara's little bombshell. Hugs for reading...sloppy kisses for reviewers :-)**


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimers-I don't own these characters, Ron Moore does

**A/N: I apologize that I've been gone for so long but I've had good reason...new computer (aka lost files), vacation, and then a bit of sadness (see my dedication at the end of this chapter). Thank you for continuing to read and for not giving up on this story. Reviews are always appreciated. **

Chapter 17

Reading body language in social situations is an essential skill for any practicing politician, but in this moment, Laura Roslin wishes that her abilities were less refined. Although little is said in those first few minutes, the implications conveyed by the reaction of the Adama's and the Final Five begets a terrifying tale she's unable, or perhaps unwilling to entertain.

The same dizzying thought loops through her head, whispered by an insidious voice from the past, and unintentionally it passes her lips, "Adama is a cylon." Her slip draws Starbuck's attention and from the look blazing in her eyes, Laura has no doubt that Kara Thrace was empowered by the Gods to be Lee Adama's 'Guardian'.

Kara squeezes Lee's hand gently before rising to stand toe-to-toe with the President and allows the deepest loathing to stain the words falling from her lips, "Leoben speaks in half truths. He speculates and interprets the ramblings of the baseship hybrid, writing that off as prophecy and knowledge that he alone understands." She remembers him breathing vile messages into her ear, designed to attack the broken little girl within. Kara pushes those thoughts away and instead, revels in the memory of the slick warmth of his blood between her fingers; that brings a smirk to her lips. "But even a lying, self-important bastard like Leoben is bound to get one right." All traces of humor drop away as she turns back to Lee and the Old Man, "Even if he doesn't know how or why."

Bill's body refuses to articulate the questions racing through his mind because of the tacit acceptance that would imply. He is not ready to acknowledge that his devotion, no matter how flawed, was so truly wasted and betrayed. That his beloved Carol-Anne, the mother of his children, was…_is_…a cylon. _My Gods…she's alive._ He struggles to keep the polished veneer of Admiral William Adama in place, but the repercussions are like acid, corroding away the very foundation and structure of all that he holds dear. Despite the raging conflict within, Bill manages to keep his emotions locked behind a façade of stoicism. He stands slowly and addresses the collective, "Give us the room."

It is not a request.

Cain looks briefly towards the other three and nods. They stand slowly and move towards the door so they're standing beside the Agathons.

"Please wait in the press room until we've finished. Speak to no one, about what's transpired here. Admiral Adama will send a marine contingent to bring you back once we're…"

Bill braces himself for a bitter feud, "You'll be going with them Madame President." Laura swiftly turns to meet his eyes. He sees a flash of hurt escape her closely schooled features, but it's replaced by an avalanche of cold fury just as quickly. "This is a family matter."

"The hell it is." Her tone is even except for the polite inflection of the expletive. "I understand how close this hits to home," and she does, _'Captain Apollo has a nice ring to it, don't you think?' _Laura shakes her head, swallows the grief of losing that moment of innocence, and returns Bill's glare. "But I will not allow your personal loyalties to transcend the greater issue here. I can't and I won't." She raises a hand when it looks as though Bill will contest, she already knows what old argument he'll pull out next, "And don't even try to tell me that this is a 'military issue' outside my jurisdiction. It is a matter of fleet security, plain and simple."

"So I'm an _'it'_, now?" Lee can tell that they're just as shocked by him speaking as they are by what he's said. He stands up, suddenly emboldened by the stab at his allegiance. "Let her stay. I don't want my loyalty in question."

No matter what else he may be, Lee Adama is a warrior and he needs to fight…_but how do you fight when the enemy could be you? _The answer distills with frightening clarity, 'By submitting to attack.' For Lee, it's always easier to find the truth within when defending himself from an external onslaught.

A man is stripped to his rawest elements when he's backed into a corner and Lee needs to know what makes him, not only a man, but human. In short, he needs Laura Roslin to stay because her love for the fleet outstrips her affection for him and she'll lead the offensive that will push his control to the limits.

As the others take their leave, Lee allows his gaze to travel around the room. A wry smile twists at his lips as he realizes that the trio left behind is the one best equipped to antagonize him. It feels like he's about to fight for his very soul. _'Assuming I ever had one to begin with.'_

**Dedication: This story is in loving memory of my Grandma Curlsy who passed away this July at the age of 89. She always sent me $5 on Valentines Day, had an endless supply of Lifesaver's in her purse, and let me cheat at Candyland. She took cat naps on the sofa and let me 'ice skate' on her hardwood floors in my socks. She was obsessed with dollar scratch off lottery tickets because she was blessed with the luck of the Irish. As she grew older her curls began to fade, but her spirit and independence never wavered. Her favorite color was blue; it was the color of all of her children's eyes. She was a constant inspiration in my life; I will miss her dearly and remember her with love.**


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimers-I don't own these characters, Ron Moore does

**Chapter 18**

Bill watches as Dee closes the hatch behind them and he cannot help but notice the last look she casts in Lee's direction; an odd mixture of hope, pity, and veneration. His son, so often times where women are concerned, is oblivious to her attention. 'A trait he inherited from his old man.'

He cringes inwardly at the bevy of emotions and turmoil that single thought unleashes. '_Is he my son? _Of course he is! Whatever else he is, Lee is my child. _He's a science experiment; a manipulation of the enemy I've fought against my entire life. _Lee was born out of love. _He was a mistake that One used to trap me into that marriage._ Carol-Anne. Her name was Carol-Anne Adama and I loved her; I loved them all. _Did you? Then why did you put the military ahead of her and the boys? Deep down, your instincts were telling you that something wasn't right, so you kept your distance. _I knew how to be a warrior, so I hid behind the brass. But the cloak of honor and duty to the colonies could never quite shield me from my failures as a husband and father. Every time I came home on leave I could see the chasm my absence created growing progressively wider. Over time it filled with alcohol and bitterness. I buried myself in work to forget what I'd left behind because I couldn't forgive myself for what I'd done to those I loved the most.'

Bill shudders as that last thought is dredged from the well of his soul; that bucket of cruel truth scrapes the foundation of mud created by his most shameful secrets. After a moment, he pushes his fears of inadequacy aside, determined to focus his attention on Lee. For all the times he put the military ahead of his family, today, William Adama vows to begin to make amends.

When his father turns to face him, Lee is surprised by the display of emotion reeling through those grey-blue eyes. But what strikes Lee most, is what's absent. There is no fear or suspicion. And neither is there revulsion or pity. Instead, there's a look in his Old Man's eye that Lee has only ever received from Kara…the one that says 'I've got your back'. As if on cue, he feels Kara's hand grasp his own and the fight he was spoiling for only minutes before falters in this unexpected sea of reassurance.

"I think we all better have a seat" Kara suggests, tugging lightly on Lee's arm. The president looks as though she smells something unpleasant when the Old Man sits on the same side of the table as her and Lee. But Roslin recovers quickly, settling directly across from Lee and folding her hands neatly. The little 'glare down' Roslin and Adama are engaged in is positively cute, but it's not going to get them anywhere. Kara clears her throat loudly, "After my communion with the Gods, I woke up in a small hospital bay. I didn't question how I came to be there, I was just grateful to be alive…until I realized the person taking care of me was supposed to be dead."

"Carol-Anne?" The name is like ash in the Admiral's mouth.

Kara nods, reinforcing the concept, "One."

"How do you know that for sure?" The viper pilots' eyes narrow in her direction, but Laura continues unfazed, "From the beginning, we've been told that Hera is the shape of things to come. The cylons have been persistent in their desire to take possession of that child. And from what Athena has told us, the Seven invested considerable time and effort into manipulating the circumstances of her conception."

There's a glimmer of hope cresting in Lee's eye and Kara wishes that she could allow him this indulgence, but the longer they fight this, the worse the ultimate fall. "Ask yourself Madame President, who's been saying that Hera was special?" She tilts her head slightly, "The Seven Siblings…the cylons who know nothing about the Final Five?" Kara lets that last point settle before turning to the Admiral, "Cain told you that the greatest asset the Final Five had was at risk."

"She said their anonymity was paramount and…" Bill's mind is racing, scrambling to piece together Cain's exact words, "that once the Seven knew their identities, they would be coming for them."

"No." Lee levels his eyes on Kara, "They'll be coming for me."

Kara can see acceptance writ in blue steel as she speaks the words, "You are the First."

Lee nods, "And Hera?"

"Her role was miscast as the First, but her purpose was just as important." Kara squeezes Lee's hand beneath the table, "Without her you would have been destroyed."

Roslin considers the argument, "You think that without Hera acting as a decoy, the Seven would have discovered Lee and killed him?"

"No, sir." Kara watches as Laura Roslin's brow wrinkles in confusion, "I have no doubt the order for his execution would've come from the Office of the President of the Twelve Colonies."

Laura blinks three times before the sting of the accusation numbs enough to allow her to speak. "You honestly believe I would harm Lee."

"You were frightened by Hera before she was even born." Kara casts a penetrating look at Roslin, "That child had a narrow escape at best and she wouldn't have been granted that reprieve if not for her age and innocence."

Laura swallows back the shame and sorrow of that particular episode in her life. And amongst the regret she finds enlightenment. She is the dying leader…Laura is wasting away, consumed by the malignant cancer that is President Roslin. Laura would never tear a family apart. She would never ask children to work hard labor in dangerous conditions. She would never entertain the thought of stealing an election. She would never deny a woman her bodily rights. But President Roslin had done all of those things…for the greater good…for the people…and at the cost of her soul. No, _Laura_ would never live to see Earth…but today she would begin to fight back.

Kara watches the President carefully, until she feels, rather than sees, Laura Roslin return to herself. Her tone loses its accusing bite, but remains firm, "You ordered the Admiral to terminate Sharon's pregnancy because of your fear of the existence of a hybrid…because of what that would mean."

"And what does it mean?" she ask breathlessly.

"That our enemy is more human that we care to believe." Lee shivers slightly as Gaius Baltar's words slip effortlessly past his lips.

BSG BSG BSG BSG BSG BSG BSG BSG BSG BSG BSG BSG BSG BSG BSG BSG

He swirls his finger through the viscous liquid, searching for patterns in the stream of his own creation. She is silent now, her focus lent towards maintaining the basestar and so he waits. Patience is a virtue, particularly for his model. It allows him time to consider, but today there's urgency thrumming beneath Leoben's cool exterior.

He's heard whispers that his Kara is still alive. The hollowness that had enveloped him upon hearing about her suicide was unlike anything he'd ever experienced before. He expected to feel sadness or loss, but the prevailing sentiment was anger. She chose to end her life rather than return to him. And in that moment, he knew that her declaration on New Caprica was a lie…her kiss a ruse. He had not broken her.

The bitterness of that memory fuses his fingernails into the flesh of his palms. He watches as a drop of scarlet drips from his fist into the tank. A new current of red strands splays out before him.

The hand of the hybrid twitches and Leoben regards her face expectantly. He can feel it, before she even opens her mouth, a new thread of destiny is about to unfurl.


	19. Chapter 19

Spoilers- Speculation on some storyline rumors for 2nd half S3 (No Razor in this story)

Disclaimers-I don't own these characters, Ron Moore does

**Chapter 19**

Her tongue is numb and her belly writhes like a wounded beast. It's a sensation Laura Roslin has become far too familiar with since the Cylons attacked. She is at a crossroad once again. Lee Adama stands at the end of both paths; to the right he is the man she has known and admired, her Captain Apollo bathed in white light, and to the left he is the First, a deviation of nature swathed in unknown depths of black. Lee's words from a moment ago echo in her mind, 'Our enemy is more human than we care to believe.' _Does Lee count himself among them? More importantly, do I?_ The answer gives her the courage to take that first tentative step forward, off-road and into the wild shades of grey.

"I don't know if you're human, cylon, or something different altogether, but I see now…" she pauses, intent on capturing Lee's full attention, "…I know that _you_ are not the enemy." She looks from Lee to Kara, the Guardian whom scriptures proclaimed. "I believe in divine providence," she laughs softly, sadly, at Kara's shocked countenance, "if you recall, I was a part of it myself once."

Kara stands before the President and sees the tragic lie of the past tense flicker behind her eyes. Laura remains the dying leader. "The Gods charged you to lead the people to Earth."

It is not a question, but Laura answers just the same, "Yes." The confirmation actualizes the weight in her breast, she's been ignoring for weeks. It seems the path of divinity is paved by mortality. It's a secret, the young woman before her knows well. "Do you know the way?"

The question never uttered, but always surrounding them…Earth.

Kara holds her gaze, "No."

"Do I?" All eyes slowly turn towards him, but Lee is focused solely on his Guardian. He wants a straight answer and he knows the moment she opens her mouth, that it's a futile hope.

"Not yet."

Lee cannot prevent the bitterness from infusing his words, "What the frak does that mean?" A backlog of frustration has him clenching his fists tightly. _Why does she insist on keeping me in the dark?_ He feels entitlement swaddle his anger, recalling how her prior cryptic messages crippled his sanity and stripped him of his humanity, when the truth of his nature was finally revealed.

Kara can already see where this is going, and where it's been and she finds herself exactly where she belongs; voice pitched low and dangerous right up in Lee's sanctimonious face. "It means, NOT YET. We can't risk going to Earth if there's a chance the Seven Siblings will follow us. Everything that's happened has been for a reason…the Gods have a plan."

"So, after I magically defeat the Seven with my First 'specialness', then maybe the Gods will just upload the map to Earth into my head?" Lee quickly learns that the Gods' retribution for blasphemy bears a striking resemblance to Kara's right cross.

Her knuckles are bleeding slightly, but before she can deliver a second punch, the Old man steps between them.

"Enough! Whatever's going on between you, lock it down." He turns just in time to see Lee swipe a drop of blood from his mouth, "You will conduct yourselves like officers of this fleet, understood?"

Kara can feel the heat of Lee's gaze burning hot on her flesh, but not in the good way. They've only begun this fight, but she follows suit when Lee nods his acknowledgement.

Laura's calm voice startles them all, "I think we could use a break. I'd like some time to review the sacred scrolls before we meet again." She places her hand on Bills' arm, disentangling him from the younger couple, "Admiral, I assume you'll want to debrief the others and let them know we'll be moving forward with an alliance." She pauses turning just enough to set her sights on her divine duo, "That is, of course, assuming the two of you put aside your issues." Laura Roslin summons her most authoritative tone and warns them, "Because if you don't, then these negotiations are over. You have four hours."

Bill suppresses a grin at Laura's ferocity, before backing her ultimatum with a stern "Dismissed."

BSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSGBSG

Leaving her ever-present marine guard at the door and slamming the hatch to Lee's quarters behind her, Kara wastes no time with formalities, "What the frak was that?"

"Gee, Kara, I don't know…but that's exactly the point isn't it?" The little crinkle above her nose which he normally finds so endearing only serves to fuel his tirade. "Since you're the omnipotent Guardian, why don't you tell me?" The crinkle disappears and the clenching of her jaw brings a new hardness to her features. She's getting it now, but he's far from finished, "Then again, straight forward isn't really your style of late is it?"

Kara counts backwards from ten and prays for the strength to make him understand, "I asked you to trust me…"

"I did." He roars, "And you blindsided me in a public forum!" She takes an involuntary step backwards and Lee seizes the opening, advancing into the personal space they shared mere hours ago. He needs the intimacy of proximity to stress his point, "You could have warned me," he tears his eyes away from hers and salts the open wound with the barest whisper, "you could have trusted me."

"I do. But ask yourself this Lee…would you even have believed me at first? Do you think it would have been better to go through that ordeal twice?" He becomes very still, contemplating her words, and she presses forward, building momentum. "Well **I** couldn't do it, alright? Call me a selfish bitch if you want, but don't expect me to beg forgiveness for not wanting to watch you suffer more than once."

The concern radiating from her is undermining his anger and Lee turns away. He's not ready to let go of his rage. His whole world is spiraling out of control and Kara was the herald of his undoing. Lee knows that she's not responsible for his plight, but in this pervasive haze of red, having someone to blame provides a twisted sense of comfort. "Leave me." It's a request he knows will hurt her, but he's more afraid of what he might say or do in misdirected anger if she stays.

"I told you before that this" she gently lays a hand on his back between his shoulder blades and maneuvers around to face him in a half embrace, "this is important." Kara reaches out to touch his face and he slaps her hand away. She crowds him and he grabs her roughly. She can see the turmoil in his eyes and for a moment she's not sure if he's trying to pull her closer or push her away. He decides on the later and she falls back to the floor. The pain in her ass rivals the one before her and she drops him with a rapid sweep of the leg. She straddles him pushing his chest down as she pants, "You always have to do things the hard way don't you?"

Lee grabs her wrists forcefully and pulls her flush against him, before bucking his lower body to unbalance her stance. He rolls them over, effectively pinning her beneath him, never releasing her hands. Her eyes are flashing and when she opens her mouth he cuts off her venomous onslaught by sucking the poison straight from her mouth. She bites his lip and he grinds his erection harder against her thigh in response. It's all kinds of insanity and yet it's the first time that Lee has felt any measure of control over his life since this afternoon.

Kara barely has a moment to process the u-turn this argument has taken, before Lee rocks vigorously against her igniting the most delicious slow burn. She gasps and it draws his gaze to hers. He looks so lost, and it's no wonder given what he learned today. "Lee?"

"I don't know who I am anymore! Tell me?"

"You are Lee Adama. You are the man you have always been."

"I'm not a man." The admission leaves him empty.

Kara wraps her legs around Lee and presses herself upwards against him, forcing a groan from his lips. She seethes hotly in his ear, "The hell you're not." His hands settle at her waist for a moment, but ne abruptly pushes her away when she moves to kiss him.

"I can't do this." Lee moves to a seated position, desperate to untangle himself from the temptation that is Kara Thrace.

Kara stares at him hard, "So I guess you were lying when you told Dee you'd love me even if I was a cylon?"

"What?" Lee is so taken aback by the reference, he hardly notices the way she's stalking towards him as she continues.

"Well if you can't accept the fact that you're half cylon, how do you expect me to believe that you would've loved me if I was one of the Final Five?" Sometimes the only way to argue against Lee Adama is to build a matrix of logic from his own principles.

"You knew about that?"

"It was the sign we were waiting for Lee. It marked a turning point; if you could love someone knowing they were a cylon, then, by extension, you should be able to come to grips with your own duality." She cocks her head to the side, kneeling before him, "So were you lying then or are you just being stupid now?"

Something inside him snaps and Lee yanks her forward by her tank tops, tearing them in the process. Kara quickly makes short work of her bra and his shirt. Lee ravishes her neck, and holds her pulse in his mouth as he frees himself from the confines of his trousers. When he sucks a pert nipple between his lips, the hiss that escapes her is a balm on his soul.

She knows that provoking Lee was a dangerous gamble, but she's not about to argue with the result. Her body is throbbing in time with the pulse of his erection nestled against the seam of her pants, but when she reaches to remove them Lee pulls her wrists aside. Her protest dies into a whimper when he bites the sensitive flesh of her areola. He presses her back against the floor and rubs against her in a maddening circular pattern, never releasing his grip on her arms. Kara strains against him and he stills, raising his eyes to meet hers. She can see the naked need in his eyes…not sex, but control.

It's eerie how they can read one another, even now, when there are so many emotions and sensations vying for dominance. Lee releases her hands and she keeps them in position, a silent agreement sealed by a single act of submission.

Until this moment, Kara Thrace felt that control was the hardest thing to give up; but looking into those blue depths she knows it's a small price to pay if it restores Lee's faith in his humanity. The need to be in control is just one of the many things her and Lee have in common. Probably the main reason they fight so spectacularly and often. But being the First is not something he can fight to control; it's a part of him, always has been, and will be. Kara resolves to give him anything she can, because she knows all to well, that there's no winner in a fight against yourself.

Lee stares into those green depths and captures her lips in a searing kiss that's equal parts apology and promise. When he finally discards their remaining clothes and thrusts into her, he can almost remember who he is. Each of Kara's hard won gasps brings a memory of Lee Adama that cannot be erased by the First. Her body is rolling from her second orgasm building toward a third, but Lee cannot relent, cannot allow himself a release despite the sweet pull of her body. Not until he knows who he is. It's her voice that brings him full circle. A chant of his name, over and over, interspersed with curses and prayers.

"_Lee. Lee. Lee!"_ Kara bites his shoulder, her body quaking with a rush of warmth and longing that only he can satisfy. She can feel the edge slicing her open, that delicious slit at the cusp of sanity and then he's still. It takes considerable will power for Kara not to push down unto him and even more not to smack him for stopping in the first place. She can feel his labored breathe dancing across the shell of her ear.

"Kara?" His whisper draws her gaze and he cannot help but smile at the beauty of her flushed and dewy skin. The epiphany he's been seeking is here between them. She told him before…before he knew, but she did…_"You are my only…always"_.

What she sees in that moment will stay with her forever…acceptance, if not peace, shines in Lee Adama's eyes. Kara cannot help but mirror his question, "Lee?"

"Yes." He rolls into her slow and deep, watching the chaos play over her features. Lee builds up a steadily faster rhythm, always repeating the small word that confirms his identity with each thrust. _"Yes. Yes. Yes."_

Kara screams it as well when the last stroke finally breaks them both. She almost swears she feels the whole ship shudder beneath the force of their climax. She wonders idly when the ringing in her ears will subside, when the realization dawns on her that, in fact, the warning claxons are blaring.

Lee feels Kara stiffen beside him, and his post coital haze evaporates when he hears, "Set Condition One throughout the Fleet. Galactica has been boarded. Cylon heavy raiders have punched through the starboard landing bay. Repeat Galactica has been boarded."

**Author's Note: What do you know...I'm still alive and so is the story. Okay...there's no apology worthy of what I owe, so I figure just posting another chapter as quickly as possible is the best penance. FYI -- This story has never left my thoughts, it's just been a crazy couple of months, capped by my muse has making a dramatic return. I hope you like what she brings. Feedback would be great...even if it's a lashing for the poor updating. **


	20. Chapter 20

Spoilers- Speculation on some storyline rumors for 2nd half S3

Disclaimers-I don't own these characters, Ron Moore does

**Author's Note**: Hello everyone! Special thanks to Alizaleven, Uberscribbler, X5-494, Anastashia, and Ellesmeow for reviewing. I know I lost a lot of readers over that long break in posting, but reading your the reviews really helped me to focus on the positive and push forward. This chapter is for each of you.

* * *

**Chapter 20**

An hour ago when she'd returned from Colonial One, Laura was slightly shocked to find Bill waiting for her on the flight deck. The pleasant surprise quickly descended into irritation when he all but ordered her to Life Station for a thorough exam. Apparently, the implications of her last exchange with Capt. Thrace did not go unnoticed.

Now sitting here, she's left to consider the results…five centimeters. How can a tumor of just five centimeters cut your remaining days in half? Will that be enough time to find Earth? What will happen to the fleet? If…when…she dies, Zarek will become President…a cylon will be the leader of their rag tag fleet. It's a sobering thought, but as she ponders the irony of it all she becomes drunk with laughter.

And that's exactly how William Adama finds her. Tears streaming down her face, with hands clenching around her stomach, Laura Roslin appears to be fighting cancer with a healthy dose of the giggles. This is hardly the reaction he was expecting, but it's so good to see her smile and even better to hear her laugh. He takes a step forward as she tries to regain her composure with deep breathes. With each exhale, the joy seems to deflate from her eyes, until only the quiet sadness of reality is left between them.

Bill reaches for her hand, needing the reassurance of her warm touch, when suddenly all hell breaks loose. The hull beneath him lurches and he can hear his ship groan in protest as the alert begins to sound announcing their uninvited guests. He can see Laura moving to get out of bed, "No!" He stays her progress with a firm hand, "Madame President, you're staying here."

It doesn't escape Laura's attention that he's shifted gears to address her by her formal title. Nor does that dissuade her objection, "CIC…"

Bill swiftly cuts her off, "Is where I belong. My ship has been boarded and it's an unnecessary risk to move you from the best guarded disaster station on Galactica when our security is compromised." He holds her defiant gaze and wonders if they'll ever be a time they won't be at odds. Her pale skin presents a stark reminder of how quickly their remaining time is slipping away. Bill sighs and takes her hand, "Do we understand each other?"

Laura squeezes his hand in affirmation. "As long as you understand that I **will** be on the line with CIC." She tilts her head towards the phone on the wall, leaving no room for argument.

William Adama may be answering the call of duty, but Laura Roslin is definitely the most courageous fighter he's ever known. That thought quirks a smile on his lips as he turns to exit.

* * *

The methodic clang of his centurion contingent lulls Leoben's mind into a Zen state. The walls around him transform to the baseship, as he projects the memory of her message with perfect clarity. 

"_A circle has no ending. The continuous path finds meaning in the reading. Circles…the pattern gives birth to an absolute…Zero…the circle has value. Zero is without content, the opposition gives purpose. One is created in contrast. A line, a ray without end becomes One. Never crossing itself...infinite. Only in concert is a new number formed. One and Zero beget the answer to all…the intersection of consciousness. And he shall be called, as he is,…01000110 01101001 01110010 01110011 01110100. His will shall prevail with destiny at his side."_

Hours passed before he could understand the brilliance of her madness. Zero and One. Circle and Line. Human and Cylon. Kara and himself. His Kara, who marked herself at the age of five in circles of crayon and watercolor…she is Zero. And he is the infinite, the immortal One who will bring her purpose. She will love him and their child will be God's true son. And as a family they will do his work.

In a blink, the bulkheads of Galactica reappear before him. The only question that remains is where to find her.

* * *

Kara Thrace is starting to get pissed off! Not only was her post orgasm high cut short, but now she has to contend with the stupidity of her two marine guards who seem unable to understand that she and Lee need service weapons with explosive rounds RFN! "Gods damn it! I will say this one more time…slowly," she all but drawls the word. "Give me a side arm." 

Smith swallows hard and looks at his feisty charge, "No can do sir. I'm under orders from the Admiral…"

Lee restrains Kara as she takes an imposing step forward, whose intention was unlikely to help their cause, "Fine. Then give me a side arm." The two gunny's share a look that gets his own temperature rising.

"We're not authorized to release weapons to civilians, sir."

There's a distinct distaste to the way Jackson spits out the word 'sir' and Lee knows immediately that the sour flavor is a residual of his work on Baltar's defense. He shares a brief look with Kara and he can read her acknowledgement in the twinge of her smile. A sharp elbow to the solo plexus, followed by a shot to the head brings Jackson to the ground in a groaning lump. A quick glance to his right outlines Kara's handiwork. Smith seems to be deliberating whether it's best to coddle his nuts or his obviously broken nose. When Lee closes the hatch sealing them inside his quarter, he almost feels bad for the guys, but as the sound of distant gun fire echoes off the bulkheads his remorse evaporates.

Kara tosses Lee a gun and an extra clip, before strapping on her own. "Alright, follow me."

"Not unless I want to go the wrong way." She turns to him with decided annoyance, "I know their targets Kara. The last time Galactica was boarded they went for aft damage control and…"

"The last time the Cylons boarded they were looking to destroy the fleet." She draws closer, lowering her voice but never her eyes, "Trust me Lee; they're here to capture, not kill."

And there it is. The moment he's been dreading since learning about his true nature is finally upon them. His family and friends are in mortal danger because of him. His only reprieve from those dark thoughts comes in the form of Kara's scolding tone, "This isn't your fault, so don't even board that train. We knew the Seven would figure it out eventually, so now we just have to deal."

"Alright, then we take the fight to them. I'll lure them away from the most populated areas and we'll coordinate a strike team with CIC."

Kara has reached her patience threshold and her jaw locks tight as she growls, "You are the First…you are **not** bait!" Lee shakes his head and she's not sure if she wants to slap him or frak him for insisting to play the hero. She splits the difference and pushes him up against the bulkhead, one hand firm against his shoulder. "You're not getting this are you?" Those piercing blue eyes are shining daggers at her, "Normally I'm a guns blazing kinda girl, but now is not the time. We need to play this smart."

Lee presses forward until he's a mere inch from her face, "I'm not going to hide away and leave the Cylons free to …"

"YES, you damn well are! Get this through your head…you are our one hope for the future! If you die, we all die! And I am not going to let that happen, even if it means I have to die…AGAIN!"

Her cheeks are flush and she's just added more weight to the world resting on his shoulders, but for some reason it's impossible for Lee Adama not to kiss her right now. She's the craziest of all things in his life and the ever-shifting foundation on which everything else stands. A kiss that began in desperation and demand ends softly in a lingering kiss of assent.

The taste of faith in his kiss obscures her initial confusion. Kara takes a deep breathe and forces her body to step away from their stolen moment. In the distance created, reality is waiting for them.

Lee squares his shoulders into that default military stance encoded by his Adama DNA. He shuts the door on his personal misgivings, leaving only Apollo to ask, "Where do we go?"

Kara mirrors his action, taking one step away from him and into Starbuck. "Life Station."

* * *

**Author's Note: I promise there will be more action in the next chapter, but you know I love the set up! ****So what did you think? **

**I got stuck for a long time on writing the baseship hybrid portion, but ultimately I'm happy with the result, how about you? It's really hard to write something that makes 'just enough sense' but still flirts with the edge of Loony Tunes. **

**As for the string of numbers…well…for those of you who don't know how to read binary code, copy and paste the numeric sequence in the hybrid rambling, and drop it into a'Binary' code translator (there's lots of sites online). If you can't find one, send me a message or a review and I'll email you the link...for some reason Fan Fiction won't let me post a web address.**

**Hugs for reading and kisses for reviewers...Cheers!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Author's Note: Of course, thank you to all my lovely reviewers and since so many people had issues with finding a binary code translator, here's the breakdown...you may want to go back and reread the prophecy since this adds a whole new dimension to the meaning.**

_01000110 - F  
__01101001 - i  
__01110010 - r  
__01110011 - s  
01110100 - t_

**Hope you enjoy this new installment. Cheers!**

Spoilers- Speculation on some storyline rumors for 2nd half S3

Disclaimers-I don't own these characters, Ron Moore does

**Chapter 21**

It never ceases to amaze him, how self involved and oblivious most human beings are. He's hiding in plain sight, in a disguise so minimal it's hardly deserving of the word. And yet the throngs pass him by, too preoccupied with the value of their own lives to comprehend the enormity of this day.

His antiquated brethren are scouring the ship and very soon they'll deliver her to him. The anticipation is intoxicating.

In the meantime, he amuses himself by offering a helping hand to a young woman in the crowd who's lost her footing. Her skin is gleaming with perspiration, her eyes dilated with fear, but there's relief and even gratitude clear in her voice when she says, 'Thank you.' She walks away, never having looked at his face, never knowing that she entrusted her hand to the enemy.

She's a minnow…one of the young fish in the mindless school of humanity, just following the current. But his Kara is a rare species. Always fighting the flow and seeking escape upstream, but never realizing…he is the water. As foretold, they exist for one another. He gives her purpose…to swim. She adds life to his world and soon they will create a new life, a new future…together.

He indulges in a rare smile and slips away to a more secluded location to await her arrival.

* * *

They encountered the first corpse's two causeways before and they haven't spoken a word since. When necessary, they communicate with their eyes or in brief touches and gestures. Kara understands, as he does, you don't talk in a graveyard. 

So far they've been lucky enough to avoid detection, but their current route seems to be increasing in carnage. Although Kara can hear gunfire in the distance, the men they're passing were clearly dispatched by blades, not bullets. She's still in the lead with Lee providing cover on their six, when she sees a familiar form writhing on the ground. She hesitates a moment before tapping Lee on the shoulder.

Lee doesn't remember breaking formation or kneeling down beside her. It doesn't matter that she's his ex-wife and even less that she's a cylon. The only thing his mind registers is the impossible amount of blood surrounding her limp form. "Dee?" Her eyes are glazed over, but they flare with recognition at his prompting.

Kara tries to focus on monitoring both ends of the hallway, but the tragedy unfolding at her feet won't be dismissed. She cannot block out the heavy gurgling that accompanies each of Dee's breathes, nor the sadness of Lee's voice as he calls Dee by her proper name.

"Anna." He pulls her into his lap, "Anna look at me." She obeys, but moans in protest when he applies pressure to the gaping wound in her stomach. Lee can feel wet warmth seeping into his cargo pants, confirming his suspicion that she was speared straight through. There's nothing he can do but hold her while she dies.

Kara wants to tell him that they don't have time for this…that Dee wouldn't have wanted him to risk his life to watch her death…but she can't. Surprisingly, the only words she manages to produce form a whispered prayer for the young woman's soul.

"Lee?"

Her voice sounds fragile as glass, "Yeah, I'm here Anna. I'm here. You're going to be okay." He doesn't know why he's bothering to lie; she always knows when he's lying.

Her head shakes in refusal, arching back, making her voice sound gravelly, "Can you see them?"

Lee shakes his head, tears biting behind his eyes, "No," he strokes his thumb over her cheek, "See what? Dee…Dee?" She's fading quickly, but a part of him believes that if she just keeps talking it will somehow stem the flow and fill the void.

Her grip turns painful on his wrist as her head lolls back, eyes focused above, her voice urgent and resolute, "I can see them."

The tension leaves her body, but even in death her eyes are still wide and unrelenting. Her small frame feels heavy in his arms as he gently places her on the floor. He feels Kara grips his shoulder and he shudders against the flurry of emotions her touch unleashes. It's only after she cautiously extends two fingers to brush the tears away that Lee realizes he's crying.

Kara's self loathing reaches a new pinnacle when she forces the next words from her mouth, "Lee…Lee we have to go."

He leans forward away from Kara's warmth until his hand hovers over Dee's lifeless gaze. His hand trembles on her forehead, but he forces himself to look in her eyes one last time before closing them forever. There's something more than death reflected there, a crimson undercurrent skitters across those glassy orbs. Lee cranes his head upward, following Dee's last line of vision. With eyes unfocused, he looks beyond Kara's concerned countenance, until he sees the near imperceptible shift in the hull above them. "MOVE!!!"

Kara has only an instant to process the word he's screamed or the fact that Lee's on his feet and pulling her toward the bulkhead, when a searing pain slices across her backside. She twists away stumbling into the crook of Lee's left arm as he raises his right and fires a shot into the head of a metal toaster that's dangling from the ceiling.

The centurion falls heavily to the ground, one talon full of twisted metal from Galactica's hull and the other slathered in red; rubies stolen from the women he loves. Kara has already found her footing and although it must be killing her shoulders, she's got her weapon trained on the ceiling. He can see her target, a second toaster nestled in the rafters, camouflaged by Galactica's dull grey sheen.

Kara holds two fingers up and points toward the nearest access corridor. An unsettling voice tells her that their second friend isn't planning to engage or follow them. There's no reason to believe it, except that she knows it's true. She can feel Lee's back against hers and she keeps pace, matching her retreat to his forward steps until they've dogged the hatchway behind them. When she lowers her weapon she can feel the lashes on her back stretch open anew. She hisses a curse under her breathe when Lee assesses the damage.

"You're going to need stitches, the frakker got you good."

An attempted smile dissolves into a grimace, "Well then, I guess it's a good thing we're bound for Cottle's Kingdom."

If Kara's dour sense of humor is her coping mechanism, then Lee's compartmentalizing. Right now, he can't allow himself to think about Dee's death or how close he came to repeating that scene with Kara in his arms. Instead he locks those thoughts away, clutches her hand tightly and presses forward, "Let's move out."

* * *

"Galactica Actual, this is Showboat do you read?" 

"Actual here, sit rep?"

"Sir, we're down to six raiders and with the alert fighters incoming now. Still no sign of a base ship or any vessel larger than the heavies that punched through."

"Can you see the impact sites?"

"Yes, sir. The two holes in the hull are going to prevent us from retracting the flight pod, but at least there's no evidence of fire damage."

"Copy that Lieutenant. Continue weapons free and then bring them back to the barn. Actual out."

Tigh watches his old friend carefully, "What are you thinking, Bill?"

"We're missing something." He can tell by Saul's expression that they're on the same page. "We've got marine teams taking down centurions at all corners of the ship, but none near aft damage or auxiliary fire control."

"Which is a bad thing because…"

"Because I don't like it." He can see a small grin flick across his XO's face, "They seem unorganized, and if there's one thing we both know, it's that the Cylons don't do anything without a plan and a reason." Bill's thoughts stray for a moment to their new allies and he wonders if they made a mistake in trusting the Final Five.

"Admiral, the President is on the line for you."

As he picks up the receiver, Bill marvels whether, just maybe, Laura's chamala extract imbues her with psychic powers. "Put her through."

* * *

Laura turns from the headset and into a cloud of offending smoke. She coughs pointedly, before addressing Cottle, "Is there something I can do for you Major?" 

"Yeah!" Cottle jerks his head toward the exit, "What the hell is going on out there?" When the President merely raises an eyebrow in question, he clarifies, "Should I be expecting any major traumas and does it even frakking matter?"

"We're holding our own, but I expect you'll be seeing more of the same." Laura moves off to the side, to make room for a marine who's dragging his comrade toward an open bed. The injured man seems too limp to merely be unconscious and Laura forces herself to return her attention to Cottle, "Is there any way I can help?"

"Yes, get back in bed and stay there." He can tell he's enraged and insulted her, but he truly admires this woman and whether she knows it or not, her body needs rest. "Look, unless you can suture open wounds, you're useless to me." He lowers his voice to that rare timber that bestows his utmost respect, "The best thing you can do for this fleet and yourself, is to take it easy."

Laura sighs deeply, two seconds shy of relenting when Lee Adama bursts through the doors of Life Station with his Guardian in tow, looking decidedly drawn and pale.

Lee grabs the sleeve of the first white coat he sees, "Where's Cottle?"

Kara spurns Lee's steadying hand, "I'm fine Lee." The dangerous sway of the room around her suggests otherwise, but her pride simply won't allow her to lean on Lee for another minute. He practically dragged her the last quarter mile, but she stubbornly refuses to acknowledge the pain, insisting, "It's just a scratch."

Cottle closes the distance with the President on his heel; so much for getting her to relax. "Thrace I haven't got time for a debate, so either step behind a curtain and let me take a look at the damage or Adama Junior here's going hold you in place and these fine folks are about to get a show."

What little blood isn't clotted against her backside is now racing toward her face, but Kara pulls up enough indignation to huff out a "Whatever" before following Cottle to a cubicle in the back. A quick glance over her shoulder halts Lee in his pursuit.

His slight irritation at Kara's attitude is quickly outweighed by the knowledge that it means she's going to be fine. Laura's hand on his shoulder surprises him, but not nearly as much as the open concern in her eyes.

"Are you alright?" Lee appears unharmed but there's so much blood soaked across his arms and clothes that she's struck with an alarming sense of déjà vu. She half expects to see the bars of Galactica's brig surrounding them, rather than the sterile walls of Life Station. "What happened?"

"Ambush…the centurions were using wounded crew as bait." Lee swallows back the rancid flavor of bile, "Dee's dead."

Laura considers pointing out that Dee may have had a chance to download, but her gut commands her to stay silent. Their understanding of the Final Five's resurrection capabilities is sketchy at best and instilling a false sense of hope could ultimately cause more damage. Instead she offers up a sincere, "I'm sorry."

Lee nods numbly as all those dark thoughts, banished in the heat of battle, begin to resurface.

Laura squeezes his shoulder, "I'll let the Admiral know that the two you made it here safely."

With the floodgate opened, he begins reliving the sequence of events in his head. The more he thinks about it the more their escape bothers him. Those Cylons had them…at the very least, they had Kara dead to rights, but they only wounded her. And the second centurion didn't make a single move to stop them. Why?

Cottle's reappearance draws Lee from his revelry, "How is she?"

"The cuts are just deep enough to be painful and bleed like all get out, but nothing life threatening. I've irrigated the wound, put a dressing on, and Ishay will be around in about an hour to sew her up."

"An hour?"

"There are twenty-seven ladies in line for sutures before her." Cottle lights up a cigarette, "It's nice that the Cylons are sending me more cuts than gunshot wounds, but at this rate my staff will be blind by the end of the day from stitch work alone."

A chill runs down Lee's spine as the pieces clicks into place.

Why would machines designed for war injure rather than kill? _Because that's what they were programmed to do…injure the target._ Why permit escape? _Because the refuge for the infirm is the extraction point…there is no escape._

With each step he takes toward Kara's curtain, he hears her warning echo in his mind, _'They're here to capture, not kill.'_

But they're not here for me.

* * *

**Author's Note: Okay, so I'm looking for constructive criticism since this is the closest I've come to writing action in a fic...it's really hard! Any pointers (whether as a review of a PM) would be greatly appreciated. What did you like? What did you hate? Basically I'm a whore for feedback and a happy whore writes more...hee hee!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Fic:** The Guardian

Title-The Guardian

Author: Farringtongirl78

Rating- M

Archiving- The Fallout Shelter

Warnings- Mystery/Angst/Romance

Spoilers- Speculation on some storyline rumors for 2nd half S3

Pairing-L/D, L/K

Disclaimers-I don't own these characters, Ron Moore does

**Author's Note: Happy belated anniversary readers! Can you believe that I started posting this fic a year ago yesterday?? I tried really hard to get this up on the 6****th****, but my muse was refusing to cooperate. Anyway…thank you so so so much for sticking with this story for the past year. Special thanks to Alizaleven, Serrafina, Cranberry Jei, Kitty, JB Twilightforever, Elliesmeow, Cherylad, Logan X, X5-494, and ddt73 for reviewing the past couple chapters.**

* * *

**Chapter 22**

Even as his fingers grasp the billowing fabric, Lee already knows that he'll find her bed empty. But what he's unprepared for, what paralyzes him, are the tiny rivulets of blood strewn across her pillow. He can smell the faint whiff of Cottle's tobacco, accompanied by the soft click of the Presidents heels, both closing in on his position…but despite their arrival, he remains frozen in place.

The rigid set to Lee's posture is a dead give-away that something's wrong. Although Laura can only think of one person who can unravel Lee so expediently and spectacularly, she feels compelled to press, "What's going on?"

Cottle stares at the vacant cot, exasperated, if not a little concerned by Starbuck's disappearance, "She was here not five minutes ago."

Laura offers up the simplest explanation, "Perhaps she's gone to the lavatory?"

Cottle shakes his head, "She wouldn't have made it without help. Not with the drugs I gave her coupled by the blood loss she sustained." His eyes fasten on the red drops at the head of the mattress, but before he can comment, Apollo rounds on them, a terrible ire constrained in his voice.

"Lock it down. No one in or out until I say so." Logically, he has no right to make such a demand, especially considering that Cottle outranks even his father here, but if they're going to have any hope of finding Kara, they need to stop the flow of traffic in Life Station.

"I can't turn away patients, young man." He returns that cold Adama glare with one of his own, but he measures his voice with empathy, "I'll instruct the marines that nobody leaves without your authorization. I'll also have them conduct a search and report back to you ASAP."

Lee nods, but the cankerous old doctor's already walking away from him. Laura's watching him closely, but whether she's waiting for orders or an explanation, he's not sure. Without thinking he offers up the later, "They've got her. We thought they were coming for me, but they were after Kara the whole time."

"Why?"

He stops pacing to postulate, "Maybe they're a step behind. They figured out that Kara is the Guardian, or that's she's special, but they don't know about the Final Five or me…yet." Lee shakes his head trying to make the scant bits of information they have jumble into something resembling sense. "Does it even matter?" He's unaware he spoke that last question aloud, when Laura responds, "Yes and no."

His blue eyes are fierce, warning against coyness, "No…because regardless of their reasons, the Cylons potentially have a hostage of incredible value and insight. However, I've been in politics long enough to know that the most effective way to defeat an opponent lies in understanding their objective and motivation."

"Well then, the answer is simple." Lee's head snaps up in the direction of Sam Ander's voice, "Leoben is a calculating psychopath obsessed with two things…prophecy and Kara Thrace."

"He's also extremely patient," Zarek observes. "Only something that joined those two elements together would ever prompt him to act so boldly."

Laura can't decide whether she's happy to have Sam and Tom's assistance or annoyed at their sudden appearance. At the very least, she's pleased to see that a marine has accompanied them, which begs the question, "What are you doing here?"

"The Admiral requested that we meet him here," Tom pauses under the weight of their imposing stares, "Though I don't think he was aware of this latest development at that time."

Sam answers the question on the tip of Lee's tongue, "Cottle pulled me aside and told me about Kara when we came in. Apparently he's behind on his Galactica gossip because it seems he felt I had a right to know my wife is missing."

Lee lets that little dig about Kara's marital status slide, for now, and focuses on Sam's earlier comment, "Leoben." He can feel the fear in Ander's eyes magnified a thousand times in his own gut as the weight of that truth settles in. Unbidden, his eyes track back to the bed linens marred by Kara's resistance.

Laura shifts into Presidential mode, "Leoben is a well known Cylon model; surely someone would have noticed him carrying the fleet's most famous pilot?"

Despite the drawn curtain Zarek is careful to keep his voice low, "If that were true, then they wouldn't have made it out of Life Station."

"We don't know that they have." Laura counters hotly.

"Yes we do." The sound of his father's voice is the first thing capable of diverting Lee's attention from his morbid thoughts. "The marines just finished their search and there's no trace of either of them."

Cain flips up the visor of her riot gear, "Which means they'll be heading for the flight deck."

Laura Roslin feels a prickle in her toes at the sight of Cain standing between Zarek and Anders dressed as their marine guard. A flash of peripheral memory has her thrusting the curtain of the adjacent bed aside. Vaguely she can hear Bill calling out to her and she's fully aware of Lee's presence over her shoulder, but the bright light of epiphany will not be ignored. With just three strides, the truth is confirmed by the lifeless face staring up at her. She turns abruptly to Lee, "I saw this man right before you arrived. He was in full riot gear being dragged in by another marine, whose face I didn't see." Laura's voice cracks in shame, "I tried not to see them, because I could already tell that this man was beyond help."

Lee's mind races frantically to catch up with what Roslin's just told him and that's when he notices that the body in the bed has been stripped. A quick survey of the cubicle shows no trace of his uniform or the concerned friend who brought him in…Leoben. "Son of a bitch."

Laura nods approvingly before addressing the group, "Both Leoben and Kara were disguised as marines, that's how he was able to get out so quickly and avoid detection."

Lee grits his teeth, "The marines have been ferrying the fallen out of Life Station to keep beds open for Cottle and his team. I'll bet the bastard just carried her right out the door."

"I'll have a tactical group dispatched to guard the starboard landing bay. Last communication from the Gunnery Sergeant said that his marines have cleared out the last of the Centurions." He squeezes Lee's should, but his son's eyes remain fixed on the ground, "He won't get very far on his own."

Lee knows that his father's words are meant to be reassuring, but the memory of glimmering stainless steel against rusting gray, contradicts that certainty. He lets out a short breathe before finally meeting his father's gaze, "Unless they were looking up, I'll bet the marines missed at least one."

* * *

Every human he's passed has avoided looking at him because they assume he's carrying a corpse. Her limp form is like a cloak of invisibility and it serves his purpose well.

Leoben can tell that those humans, and others like them, are the ones who are bitter and envious of the Cylon ability to resurrect; they're blind and pitiful souls. Their myopic fear of death obscures their ability to see that humanity posses an immortality that the Cylons cannot achieve.

At least…not without God's grace. _'His will shall prevail with destiny at his side.'_ The thought draws his eyes down to Kara's still form lying in his arms.

He pushes back her visor and smiles at the smear of crimson across her lips. Normally, he would suppress the desire coursing through him, but today he is justified. He's not violating her personal space, merely reclaiming that which she extracted from him. His tongue scraps across the supple skin of her lips, laving away the coppery tang of blood…his blood. He can taste the memory of her struggling against the drug working its way through her system and the absolute fire in her eyes when she bit the hand covering her mouth. He admires the dimples of torn flesh her teeth cast into his wrist as he tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.

The squawk of comm chatter in his helmet breaks his revelry and informs him that they've been discovered. _No matter_, he thinks, _it's already too late_. He removes the helmet and lets it fall to the floor. On his right lays a tangled mess of circuits and to his left the corpse of a young female officer.

Leoben takes a few steps back from the garish scene, cocks his head up and to the side in a coaxing manner and softly murmurs to the rafters, "It's time to go."

**Author's Note: Feedback is my virtual Happy Meal…and I'm on Weight Watchers right now so I'll take anything you've got…praise, nit-pick, question, or suggestion. Just hit the blue button and interact. Cheers!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Author's Note: Sorry for the delay…I've been playing over in the Sarah Connor Chronicles sandbox a little bit, but it was good because it got me into another writing rhythm and helped me finally finish off this chapter.**

**Special thank you to my faithful reviewers…wingedPsyche, JB Twilightforever, ddt73, Serrafina, and Ellie (Elliesmeow)…you ROCK!**

Disclaimers-I don't own these characters, Ron Moore does

**Chapter 23**

It's like New Caprica all over again; only this time, she's a prisoner within her own body. She cannot move and she wishes more than anything right now, that she couldn't hear…but she does. His silken voice is like nails on a chalkboard. His soliloquy is a jarring monotone that drowns out all thoughts but his. She can tell by the subtle inflections in his tone that it's a prophecy. The warmth he lends to it, tells her the prophecy is hers…the cold fear in her stomach corrects her; he believes the fate unfolding is **theirs**.

"_A circle has no ending. The continuous path finds meaning in the reading. Circles…the pattern gives birth to an absolute…Zero…the circle has value. Zero is without content, the opposition gives purpose. One is created in contrast. A line, a ray without end becomes One. Never crossing itself...infinite. Only in concert is a new number formed. One and Zero beget the answer to all…the intersection of consciousness. And he shall be called, as he is,…01000110 01101001 01110010 01110011 01110100. His will shall prevail with destiny at his side."_

Kara isn't sure if the message is intentionally broken and nonsensical or if she's drifting in and out of consciousness. Perhaps it's the drugs, or her more complete knowledge, but his ramblings make perfect sense. Her sole consolation in this desperate hour is the fact that Leoben has miscalculated this strange geometry of circles and lines juxtaposed with numbers and values.

A shudder runs through her soul with the realization that if he breaks her, she might assign the proper values. Adama is Zero…One is Carol-Anne…and Lee…dear Gods…he can never know that Lee is the First.

She can feel Leoben stroking her face as he whispers of their future family and in that moment, her decision is made. For the second time in her life, Kara Thrace concedes that she'll need to die in order to save those she loves.

* * *

Galen Tyrol secures the last fastening for his environmental suit and checks the air pressure again. No matter how many times he works in open space, it always unsettles him. He swears he can almost feel the icy fingers of death grasping at him through those thin layers of fabric. That sense of foreboding is particularly strong since the airlock mishap with Cally a few weeks back. He nearly jumps when he hears Racetrack's voice, "Ready Chief?" He nods stiffly, not meeting her inquisitive stare.

Maggie brings the Raptor into position and holds steady. She can't help but marvel at the wreckage those heavy raiders inflicted on the old girl's hull. She doesn't envy the Chief and his crew; repairing that damage in a depressurized atmosphere is going to be a bitch. She secures her seat harness and radios back, "Opening primary doors on my mark…three, two, one…mark."

* * *

"This is ridiculous, we're wasting time!"

"Lee," he stops pacing to glare at her, and Laura sighs inwardly because the burden of being the voice of reason is chaffing her already tarnished soul. "It would be foolish to rush to Kara's rescue when Leoben has been one step ahead of us from the very start."

"No." Lee squares up to her, "He's been _five_ steps ahead of us, which means we don't have the luxury of sitting here and discussing it as a full quorum. Here's the bottom line…if he gets her off this ship, we're all dead."

Sam jumps to her defense, "Kara would rather die than betray us."

"That's right." Lee looks him dead in the eye, "I told you once before Sam…if she dies, I'll turn the gun on myself." He turns to face the rest of them, locking his gaze on his father's, "You want to protect me? Then help me bring her back, because she's the best of me and thus, our only shot at survival."

William Adama takes a deep breath and weighs his next words carefully. "Our last communication indicated that the marines lost contact with their outfit nearest the starboard flight deck about five minutes ago." The heat of Laura's gaze is easily deflected by the shining love and respect in the eyes of his first born son. He's risking everything and everyone he loves on one gamble, but when the stakes are all or nothing, Bill Adama goes for broke. "Bring our girl home."

Lee remembers when his father issued a similar order, years before when Kara crashed on that moon. As he turns toward the door, Lee can't help but wonder if Kara will bring back a skinned Leoben as a trophy this time or she'll actually let him rescue her for once.

"Lee."

Ander's shout slows him down, but he doesn't stop, just glances over his shoulder and asks, "You in?"

Sam jogs to catch up, "You kidding? Someone's got to watch you back." He hands Lee an extra clip, "Besides, Kara will kill me if I let anything happen to you."

Lee smiles despite himself and quirks an eyebrow when Zarek and Cain also sidle up beside him. Neither comments; they merely nod in acquiesce to his lead.

Bill watches as the door closes behind their team and a small part of him wishes that he was going with, but he's got responsibilities and a very irate President to deal with. As if on queue he hears Laura's reprimanding tone, "You're taking an awful risk Bill."

"I know. They're my children Laura." He rubs his eyes and gives her the best reassurance he can, "But I also know to never bet against Starbuck and Apollo."

* * *

All flight suits have a distinct odor. A mixture of sweat, leather, and exhaust fumes that culminates into one of Kara's favorite fragrances. She never imagined feeling anything but at home in one of these suits, but as Leoben draws the zipper up to her chin, she can't shake the sensation that she's being enclosed in a body bag.

She can still hear his voice, but it's muffled as though they were under water. He must have secured her collar and helmet.

"Kill anyone who attempts to breach this door." He waits for the glancing red light that signifies his order has been acknowledged before returning his attention to his charge. Leoben strokes her gloved hand with one of his own, "It will all be over soon."

_Yeah, as soon as I can find something sharp or poisonous._ The dark humor fades in comparison to the sadness she feels creeping up within her. Last time she embraced death because it was her destiny, but that same intuition is telling her that her destiny now lies with Lee. She can hear it again, but it's soft, like an angel speaking in her ear. '_His will shall prevail with destiny at his side.' _Kara struggles against the veil of consciousness, the fight within her renewed by those mysterious words.

The drugs must be wearing off because she's beginning to stir. Leoben fastens his collar and closes them within the depressurizing chamber, intent to get her onto the heavy raider and back to the basestar. Just as the light turns green, he can hear the sound of gunfire erupt in the anti-chamber.

* * *

"Chief, I've got the Admiral on the line; I'm opening up a secure channel." Maggie connects Tyrol's feed into hers, "Go ahead Actual."

"Chief can you see the cylon vessels on the deck?"

"Yes sir. It looks like both raiders are still down." He adjusts the spotlight and squints through the debris field. As he scans the far entry point, left to right, Galen can make out the port side, a gaping space, and then the starboard side of a raider. "They must have hit the deck pretty hard because it looks like one of them broke clear in half."

"Racetrack, reel the Chief in, then bring that raptor into position to block the forward bay entrance."

"Sir?"

"Angelfire will cover the aft position, ETA about 2 minutes. You are not to allow that raider to pass, understood?"

Maggie engages the winch to tow Tyrol back on board, but her head is spinning, "To what extreme sir?"

"Ram them if you have to Racetrack, but those birds don't leave…"

"Admiral!" Galen Tyrol can count on one hand the number of times he's interrupted a superior officer, but if what he's just seen is real…then they have a huge problem. "Admiral, I swear I just saw someone or something moving on the flight deck."

"Get that raptor into position now."

"Copy sir. Chief, hold tight I'm going to help things along." Racetrack gently nudges the raptor closer to Tyrol's position until he's able to grab hold and pull himself back onboard.

"Galactica, this is Racetrack initiating new flight plan…engaging starboard landing bay, forward approach per Actual's orders. ETA 1 minute."

* * *

As a rule, it's a bad idea to fire a weapon this close to an airlock, but when his explosive round hits home and that metal frakker goes down, Apollo spares a second to smile upon the smoldering wreckage. Lee's already in motion closing in on the airlock, but from his peripheral vision, he can see Cain putting two more rounds into the centurion's head, just to be thorough. Sam's hand clasps over his when he goes to open the hatch.

"Red light." He nods to the sensor indicating that the room beyond is a vacuum. "Leoben must have overridden the safety protocols and left the outer-door open."

"Frak!" He intends it as a curse, but it emits like a war cry. This can't be it…he can't be losing her…not again.

"Apollo." Zarek nods questioningly to a door on their left.

The launch room…at the very least they should be able to see the flight deck. The room is dark, save for a lone emergency light on the floor. Lee reaches a hand out, seeking to familiarize himself with the board, but suddenly a blinding light sprays across the deck.

A raptor is hovering sentry at the forward entrance and a flood of relief washes over him, until he sees the newly illuminated scene before him. Not two, but three heavy raiders are set on the deck, and at the base of the closest stands Leoben…Kara's body slack in his arms.

Lee can do nothing but watch as the rear hatch lowers down, but his hand strikes out at the glass and the Cylon turns to meet his gaze. Leoben smiles serenely, in that superior omnipotent fashion and Lee contemplates firing an explosive round through the glass and into the frakker's head, consequences be damned. Lee's body jolts with shock when Leoben's smiling visage is replaced by blood, gray matter, and a gaping hole in his helmet. As Leoben's body slumps down onto the deck, Kara's form untangles from his embrace and falls, almost gracefully, to the ground. Standing in their wake is a figure brandishing a smoking gun and the first face in the catalog of his memory.

A light blinks on the consol and he flips the switch in a daze. The power of his mother's voice almost brings him to his knees, "Permission to come aboard?"

* * *

**Author's Note: Let me start off by saying…I'm glad this chapter is behind me because I hate it! I found it extremely hard to write and I'm not completely happy with the final product. Normally I wouldn't post something until I'm satisfied, but I've rewritten this about 3 times in the past month and I just have to accept that this is as good as it gets. I apology for the quality slump here…I promise that I'll be back up to snuff next chapter. I'd love to hear your comments on this chapter…like I said…I don't like it, but I can't figure out why and that's probably why I couldn't fix it…if you've got a clue, or if you liked this chapter and you think I'm nuts, I'd appreciate the feedback.**

**On to the happy place…now that Carol-Anne's here, things are going to get crazy! And we're entering into the third and final arc of the story. Again…thank you to all my readers and love to the reviewers…your encouragement and criticisms, motivate me and make me a better writer. Cheers!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Author's Note: Today is St. Patty's Day and in the spirit of good fortune I decided to coax my muse out to play. Here's what she says…but be kind…she's been drinking green beer :-)**

Disclaimers-I don't own these characters, Ron Moore does

**Chapter 24**

The agonizing wait for the room to pressurize and the light to turn green, sparks the memory of the longest 2 minutes of her life, just over 30 years ago. She can remember pacing across the cracked tiles in the bathroom of that shitty military base housing, striving to understand why she was even bothering to take a pregnancy test…she couldn't get pregnant…could she? Two minutes later, a second line appeared in the indicator window. How poetic that a silly little pink line replicates from one to two to tell a human woman that she's transformed from a singular being to one who will support the delicate balance of two lives. Three minutes ago, she was just one…One, whose mission is to keep tabs on a young officer who encountered the elder generation. It was feared that Bill Adama's experience would give him insight into the Cylon plans for evolution and procreation and that he could be a potential threat to their progress. Carol-Anne can't help but smile at God's ironic sense of humor. Her smile falters as the enormity of it all sinks in…she's going to give birth to the first human-cylon hybrid…a child of God. The test stick fumbles from her trembling hand and clatters to the ground when she focuses on what this means for her…_'I'm going to be a mother.'_

A sharp hiss indicates that the equilibrium is about to be restored and it jostles her free from the past. The weight of the Guardian in her arms is a comfort; for all the things she's done wrong and hidden with respect to her eldest son, she feels the need to present Lee with an offering of her atonement. Even so, she knows that saving Kara's life won't negate the cold reception she's going to receive. Zak was the forgiving one, if only because his brother shielded him from the worst of her bile, but Lee knows how to hold a grudge. It's a lesson he mastered from Carol-Anne's stellar example. 

The melancholy of all her mistakes chokes her when she sets eyes on her little boy framed in the hatchway. Those damn blue eyes are just like Bill's and they pierce through her like a blade…Lee quickly turns his gaze down to Kara and she feels that blade twist in a way that's meant to inflict nothing but pain. She can feel the eyes of the remaining Five cataloguing her every move and she buries her personal insecurities, holding tight to the role and mask that's been her loyal companion throughout these years and trials…One. Despite the turmoil she's feeling, her voice is smooth and level, "I imagine I'll need to be debriefed by the Admiral and the President?"

Lee keeps his eyes downcast on Kara, but he can see his mother's reflection on the glass of the visor. The faces of the only two women he's ever loved are overlapping and for the first time, he sees a bit of his mother in Kara's soft features. The thought is disturbing enough to tear his gaze away from Kara, but his control is slipping and he's not sure what will happen if he looks at One again. It's easier to think of her as One; to disassociate what she is now from the woman who raised him. It's a fragile web of self deceit, but the ramifications of what he's learned these past few days were never quite tangible until he saw Carol-Anne Adama standing on Galactica's flight deck. He turns his back on his mother, but forces himself to call out over his shoulder, "Follow me." 

* * *

Her sports bra is raking across the gauze on her shoulder blade, sparking just enough discomfort to revive her and Kara jolts awake struggling against gentle hands. She takes a deep breathe to scream or possibly curse, when her eyes find the power to open. Lee's face is two inches from hers and she wonders if the cocktail of drugs Leoben fed her contained a hallucinogen because the last thing she remembers were flashes of shadow and light illuminating the flight deck. The only thing that makes her trust that this is real is the mixture of relief and love in Lee's eyes. She doesn't know where she finds the strength, but Kara manages to make her arms move enough to cup his face. The scratch of Lee's stubble against her palm cracks the damn she's been hiding behind since this nightmare began. If she's being honest, this meltdown has been brewing since the day she found Leoben sweating in an interrogation room three years ago. 

Lee leans into her touch and allows her to guide his face closer to hers, until her head is buried in the crook of his neck. Her silent sobs are just the first wave, anger and defensiveness will soon follow, but he'll be here for those stages too, whether she likes it or not. 

"Thank you." Lee knows how hard those words are for her to say. Kara Thrace was taught never to be in a position to thank anyone because it meant she was weak. 

Lee smiles into the soft damp hair on her forehead and presses a sweet kiss against her temple, "Don't thank me." That catches her attention. She looks up at him and beneath the puffy eyes he can see his beloved Starbuck, impatiently waiting to be informed. Lee opens his mouth to answer when Kara goes rigid in his embrace. The hairs on the back of his neck are standing up and he's reminded strongly of the time he was caught with Jane Burke in his bedroom when he was fourteen…he knows without looking that his…that One…has just entered the room. 

Carol-Anne smiles slightly at the sight of Kara's shell-shocked face. She holds up two fingers for emphasis, "That's two you owe me." 

The words come automatically to her lips, "That first one doesn't count." She can see Lee's face harden in the foreground at the comfortable manner between her and his mother. "I'm surprised you're not in irons." 

"So am I. But then Bill went off to make some arrangements as soon as he saw me walk in, so there's still hope."

Lee grits the words out with as little emotion as possible, "He's arranging a secure conference room." 

Lee is talking at her rather than to her, but Carol-Anne considers that in and of itself a small victory. She doesn't want to press her luck. She nods at Kara, "Join us if you're feeling up to it, won't you?" 

Kara spent enough time with Carol-Anne Adama to know when she was nervous. Judging by Lee's granite-like features, the Adama family reunion is not going to be pretty. Normally Kara is not one to ask permission, but given the circumstances, this is Lee's call. His eyes are indecipherable and apparently he knows it, because he squeezes her hand to clarify. She doesn't take her eyes from Lee as she replies, "I'll be there."

Carol-Anne takes her cue to exit and allows the curtain to close behind her. She doesn't get more than two steps before Laura Roslin obstructs her path. The cancer has obviously returned, but it does little to diminish the President's beauty and nothing to dull the edge in her voice.

"I'll be there as well."

It would be a threat if Roslin weren't so diplomatic about her delivery. Carol-Anne holds her gaze and immediately sees the root cause of this demonstration. It's not about the President of the Colonies backing the military or protecting the people in the fleet. The simple truth is that Laura Roslin carries a deep love and respect for the Adama men and she's determined to support them. Carol-Anne nods blithely, "I had no illusions otherwise." If anything, the President scowls faintly at her reply. Carol-Anne can't help but chuckle darkly, "You know, I haven't seen that look in over 13 years, but it still haunts me." She cocks her head, intrigued, "Every time I came home from rehab my 'friends' would look at me the way you are now…like they knew that no matter how hard I tried to change, I was still going to frak up and hurt my family."

"Are you?"

Laura's accusation burns through her hardening her resolve to overcome the mistakes of the past, "No."

"Good." Laura steps back and straightens her suit, "I'll check and see what's keeping the Admiral."

The consequence should Carol-Anne fail to keep her pledge goes unspoken, but not unheard. Watching the President stride out of Life Station, One can clearly understand how Laura Roslin acquired the nickname, Madame Airlock.

* * *

**Author's Note: I know the chapter is short, but the same thought just keeps running through my head...post another chapter, just 18 days until S4. I'll give you more perspective from Lee and Bill next chapter, but I wanted to give you a little insight into One (Carol-Anne)this chapter since it's a new character construct and not too well established by cannon…other than her being a harpy. What do you think? **

**I read somewhere…reviews are love…I like that…I subscribe to that! And if you all get me over the 200 review mark I'll get you another chapter before the weekend…deal? **

**Special Thank you to my past chapter reviewers:**** Mulderzkid, Ellie, Alizaleven, bookmarmf, Anastashia, Aspect, ddt73, wingedPsyche, Artemis90, and Ubberscribbler.**


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimers-I don't own these characters, Ron Moore does

**Chapter 25**

Kara can tell by the low level of the lights that it's third shift. Despite her dozing off for a couple hours, Lee is sitting exactly where she left him. She smiles drowsily, "Have you blinked since I fell asleep?"

Lee tilts his head, "Look what happened the last time I did?"

She blows out a deep breathe, pink flushing her cheeks, "I still can't believe your mother had to bail me out."

"You're just too used to saving yourself." He gets the cocky Starbuck smirk he was aiming for in reply. Lee closes the distance between them and ravishes the delicacy of her soft lips until she breaks for air. He sits on the bed and pulls her up alongside him, lightly caressing the skin beneath her ear as he whispers, "Even the great Starbuck isn't capable of escaping bondage while unconscious."

Kara quirks an eyebrow and turns to look at him, "Is that a challenge?" She can feel his cock twitch against her thigh and she wonders what dirty little games he's got her playing in his mind right now. The possibilities of Lee and restraints are too tantalizing and the combination too perfect for teasing him. She pitches her voice low and husky, "Brig or handcuffs Lee?" Kara rolls herself so that she's half draped over his body and she rocks her knee lightly up against his erection, causing enough friction and embarrassment to make the tips of his ears burn scarlet. "We could always combine the two?"

The mixture of mischief and truth in her taunts, reiterates what Lee already knows, "You're evil." He dips in to kiss her again, more urgent and passionate than before. His hands dance across her body, always mindful of the tender cuts on her back. Gentle fingers under a breast make her moan, while the other hand skimming her bottom, makes her bite playfully at his lip. 

"As much as I enjoy being a diversion," Kara pulls back and holds his gaze, "Don't you think it's time you stopped hiding here and dealt with your parents?"

Lee tosses his head back and groans loudly. "Kara, it's been a hell of day and…"

"And you don't want to deal with it," she finishes. "But this isn't going to go away and it's not going to look any better tomorrow."

Lee sighs, "I spent the last three hours thinking about it…about her." Lee stares up at the fluorescent lights humming above them, "While you were sleeping, I did nothing but think about One."

"Your mother." She knows that he's trying to distance himself by using that moniker, but she's not sure why he's doing it. "I thought the other night you'd come to accept your nature…"

"This isn't about that" Lee dismisses the notion, but doesn't take his eyes from the ceiling. "I'm the First…a hybrid. It's just, before I felt like I was more human than Cylon, but seeing…my mother today, made me think about how much I'm like her. How much I'm like a Cylon."

Kara hoists herself up to stare down at Lee, "My mother was a physically and mentally abusive drunk and she didn't have the excuse of being a Cylon. There are things she instilled in me that I doubt I'll ever break free from, but **I'm not her**." She brings her forehead down against his, "Parents teach you who to be based upon who they are, because it's all they know…but, Lee, you've always chosen to be your own man and followed your own path."

"Much to my father's disappointment" Lee grumbles.

"Exactly," Kara crows with unexpected excitement, "Because you're not him!" His amused expression melts into comprehension and she ghosts a kiss across his furrowed brow, "And you're not her either."

Lee smiles at her crazy logic, "I've never been so happy to be a disappointment to both of my parents before." Her laughter quells the rest of his worries, "And to think I wasted all those years trying to make them proud." Kara snorts at that and it's so delightfully inappropriate that Lee can't help himself, "Marry me." Kara stills above him and the emotions running through her eyes are so inscrutable, it's painful to watch. She drops her eyes, leaving Lee to focus on her body language for clues. Her hands are clasped tight, tensing the muscles of her arm and drawing his gaze. Lee runs his finger along the black wing imprinted on her pale flesh, declaring her taken by another, "I forgot."

"Nice to know someone remembered." Sam manages to keep most of the bitterness out of his voice, but since her return, he hasn't had a single moment alone with Kara. Seeing her with Lee in such an intimate fashion isn't a surprise, but that doesn't make watching her happiness with him any less agonizing. "I'd like to talk to my wife," he pauses until Lee looks at him, "alone." 

Kara's head whips around and she pins Sam with a glare that would make the Old Man proud. He actually takes a small step back at the look on her face. "Looks like I've got a family affair of my own to attend to," she slowly disentangles from Lee, but squeezes his hand as he stands until he meets her eye, "I won't be long."

**Author's Note: Super short, but hopefully you'll agree, also super sweet. The last chapters have been really intense and it's going to take that turn again, so I wanted to say thanks for 200 reviews and with a little fluff. Another chapter of substance is in the works and I hope to have that up by Friday night. Cheers!**


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimers-I don't own these characters, Ron Moore does

**Chapter 26**

"So how long have you been standing there Sammy?"

"You mean on the outside looking in?" Sam shoves his hands in his pockets and rolls back on his heels, "My guess is from the day we first met." 

Kara picks at a pull in the sheet, needling the loose thread until it unfurls creating a hole, "You mean the day you were first assigned to me, don't you?" 

"Don't change the subject Kara."

"I thought the subject was our relationship Sam?" Kara cocks her head and smiles that slow and dangerous grin that she reserves for the condemned. "Were you or were you not assigned to be my guide?" 

"Yes." Sam swallows hard, "But that doesn't mean that I don't love you and it doesn't make our marriage any less real."

Kara climbs out of bed and shuffles three steps to stand before him. "I'm not your wife." She leans forward so that he can't possibly look away, "You completed your mission Sam…I suffered," _the scars on her stomach itch with the promise of infection_, "I learned," _Casey's tiny fist wraps around her finger_, "and I died," _her mothers' pain and loneliness morph into the peaceful beauty of death lending Kara the courage to plunge into cleansing fire with absolute faith_. 

He tears his gaze away, but Kara tips his face down to hers, "You're a widow, Sam." He reaches out to take her hand, but she's too raw to allow it.

Sam sighs at her retreat, "I never meant to hurt you." The slap she administers is quick and searing. He should probably be grateful that she didn't deck him, but somehow the slap is worse. Starbuck punches, Kara slaps. There are no tears in her eyes, just cold indifference. Sam's voice cracks with the earnestness of his petition, "I hope you'll at least believe that I'm sorry for everything I've put you through."

Although sincere, Sam's apology is woefully inadequate. Today's encounter with Leoben is a sharp reminder of the twisted lineage of torment she's suffered at his hands. And behind all those trials on her journey to becoming the Guardian, was Sam…never the instrument, but always the catalyst. 

Kara's trust, once broken, is usually an irreparable bond. But a faint voice within cautions her not to dismiss Sam's plea; _he may yet play a crucial role in this game_. Kara shakes the echoing thought from her head and resolves to grant him advice rather than clemency. "The road to forgiveness is a long one with me Sam. Don't get ahead of yourself when you've only just found the path…take it slow." 

As she brushes past him on her way out, her wing grazes his matching one and in that instant, Sam Anders vows to do anything it takes to give Kara the happiness she deserves. 

* * *

Standing in Bill's office on Galactica is unsettling, which is undoubtedly why he chose this venue rather than a conference room. He wants the home court advantage. Carol-Anne revolves on the spot taking in the art work, books, and pictures that decree what she's known for years; Galactica is Bill Adama's true home. She smiles remembering how it used to piss Bill off when she'd refer to Galactica as 'the other woman'. Looking up at the worn hull today, Carol-Anne can't help but silently thank the old girl for keeping her boys safe. The hatch opens behind her and Carol-Anne watches as Bill, Roslin, Lee and Kara file into the room. She doesn't miss the guarding hand that Bill hovers on Laura's lower back when her step falters. It seems Galactica has some stiff competition for the Admiral's affection nowadays. 

Lee feels Kara's hand slip inside of his as they settle on the couch beside Roslin. His father and mother take seats facing each other in arm chairs on opposing ends of the sofa they're occupying. The symbolism of their seating arrangement, a child in the middle of two warring parents, is so dead on Lee winces in an attempt to squelch the laughter bubbling up inside him. This scene is both familiar and surreal, which is probably why his father opens the discussion from a strictly military stance.

"How did you get here?"

Apparently, the Admiral is in. Carol-Anne barely refrains from rolling her eyes when she replies, "I flew."

Part of him wants to ask when the hell she learned to fly, but she's testing him and unlike their marriage, he won't fail this time. "How did you get aboard Galactica?"

"I jumped in at close range utilizing a heavy raider equipped with a colonial transponder. While your squadrons were dealing with the enemy fighters, I took the liberty of landing on the flight deck. I set her down right next to Leoben's landing party and I waited."

The twitch in his father's jaw is the only indication of the Admiral's outrage concerning this security breach, but there's a greater question to be answered, "Why take the risk? Why now?" His mother's poignant gaze riddles him with inexplicable guilt.

"Because you needed me."

"I think what Lee is asking is," Laura prods, "how did you know that you were needed?"

Carol-Anne never takes her eyes off of Lee, "Dee."

Kara feels goose bumps break out across her forearm, "We saw her die."

Carol-Anne shakes her head, "Dee's security clearance and access to communication were cut off once she revealed herself as one of the Final Five." She slips a sideways glance at Bill who shifts uncomfortably in his seat, "Downloading was the only way to get a message to me about the threat of the Seven Siblings."

Idly Kara wonders if Dee would have sacrificed herself if she'd known they were looking for her instead of Lee. "So she's okay?"

"She'll be fine, though I don't like leaving her alone…" at their blank stares she explains, "the time following a download is very traumatic for us."

The words seem stuck to the roof of Bill's mouth or perhaps he really doesn't want to know the answer. "You know this personally?"

"Yes, I was on Caprica the day of the attack." She could hear the neighbors screaming and then there was nothing but white light bathing her completely. Suddenly the bath was viscous liquid, accompanied by total darkness. Her body was thrashing independent of her thoughts, until a single truth rendered her to stone. _It's happened._ Carol-Anne shakes free of the memory, "I downloaded to a small freighter that had been prepared for us decades ago. The ship was docked at a small space station orbiting Caprica, but it had a few upgrades."

Bill doesn't need to ask her to elaborate; she knows that look from countless years of bickering, "The vessel is equipped with Cylon FTL capabilities, artillery package, downloading equipment, and a heavy raider…which was probably intended to be a lifeboat."

"This vessel is nearby?"

"One jump with a Cylon FTL, probably three jumps for your fleet."

"What frak is this! You're talking about equipment specifications?" All eyes turn toward him and Lee stands to give them a better look because he refuses to ignore the elephant in the room for a second longer. "WHAT THE HELL AM I?" The silence following his shout is deafening and suddenly all the questions he's been dying to ask are pouring out in quick succession. "Who the hell are you? Was I just some experiment? Was that _your _assignment…to get pregnant? What about Zak?" At that inquiry his mother gets to her feet and reaches out to him. He slaps her hand aside, "If you're a Cylon, then why were you a drunk?" Tears glisten at the edge of his eyes and are freely flow down her cheeks, "Why didn't you…tell me?"

He may as well have asked _'Why didn't you love me?'_ Carol-Anne closes the distance between them in a rush, undeterred by his attempts to push her away, until she's got her arms wrapped around him. "I promise you, Lee," heavy breathes punctuate each word, "I'm going to tell you everything." 

She smells exactly the way he remembers and Lee can't help but believe her. He finally returns her embrace, and when she whispers, "Love you" against his temple, Lee lets his first tear fall.

* * *

**Author's Note: We're getting into the home stretch folks…all those questions that I threw out…answers are coming in the next chapter. I'm not sure if I'll have the time to post anything new over the holiday weekend…but reviews are always a good motivator to get me to hide from my family with my computer and write stories for an alternate reality :-)**

**Special Thank You's to the 200 Club (peeps who helped me achieve and surpass the 200 review mark these past two chapters): ddt73, Alizaeleven (twice), wingedPsyche, Wes1393, time16, Ellie (twice), jb73, alexceasar, Aspect, and Groovychick1980! **


	27. Chapter 27

**Author's Note: Special thank you to Ellie, ddt73, alizaleven, and JB twilightforever for reviewing chapter 26. **

Disclaimers-I don't own these characters, Ron Moore does

In case you forgot...from Chapter 26…

"What frak is this! You're talking about equipment specifications?" All eyes turn toward him and Lee stands to give them a better look because he refuses to ignore the elephant in the room for a second longer. "WHAT THE HELL AM I?" The silence following his shout is deafening and suddenly all the questions he's been dying to ask are pouring out in quick succession. "Who the hell are you? Was I just some experiment? Was that _your _assignment…to get pregnant? What about Zak?" At that inquiry his mother gets to her feet and reaches out to him. He slaps her hand aside, "If you're a Cylon, then why were you a drunk?" Tears glisten at the edge of his eyes and are freely flow down her cheeks, "Why didn't you…tell me?"

He may as well have asked _'Why didn't you love me?'_ Carol-Anne closes the distance between them in a rush, undeterred by his attempts to push her away, until she's got her arms wrapped around him. "I promise you, Lee," heavy breathes punctuate each word, "I'm going to tell you everything."

She smells exactly the way he remembers and Lee can't help but believe her. He finally returns her embrace, and when she whispers, "Love you" against his temple, Lee lets his first tear fall.

**

* * *

****Chapter 27**

Family is unstable and everlasting. It's a complicated paradox and the Adama family is the archetype of its extremes.

Carol-Anne can tell by the awkwardness of Lee's embrace that he's still harboring a lot of resentment towards her, but a handful of tears keep her optimistic. She runs her fingers through his hair and bites back the urge to tell him that he needs a haircut. Lee pulls away from her slowly and she can see a flush coursing beneath the skin on his neck…he never was very big on public displays of affection. She lays a hand on his shoulder, indicating that he should sit down, and she steps back to face them all.

"I'm One and I'm a Cylon." She catches Kara smirking out of the corner of her eye, but all mirth and levity vanish from the room when she continues, "That's the first thought I ever had." Carol-Anne takes a sip of water and tries not to wish it were something stronger, "I woke up in an apartment on Caprica thirty-two years ago with faith and a mission. I spent the early days of my life learning the history of my people…a short, bitter litany of slavery, war, and exile. And it triggered my very first emotion…fear."

It's strange to see his mother humanized like this, even more so considering that she isn't human. _What does that even mean anymore?_ Her soft voice draws Lee away from his philosophical ponderings and back to her narrative.

"I was meant to integrate into a society that reviled my kind and it terrified me. More to the point, I was entrusted to lead and help four others to assimilate into their roles while maintaining anonymity. As you probably already know, Helena was our military plant, Dee was our expert on race and religious diversity based out of Sagittarion, Zarek delved into the facets of politics, and Sam was the cultural marker…celebrity, power, and privilege."

William Adama holds his ex-wife's hazel eyes, "And what was your mission?"

"You weren't crazy Bill. What you saw on that ice planet was the genesis of what stands before you now." His grip on the arm chair turns white-knuckled, "The highest priority mission of the Final Five was assigned to me…and it was you."

Bill can feel Laura's sympathetic gaze and it only serves to incense him further. His next words come out tight, "So you were sent to create a family?"

The accusation is clear and Carol-Anne detests the implication as much today as she did thirty years ago. "I didn't trap you into our marriage Bill. Our relationship was not a tactical maneuver in some devious Cylon biological experiment." He looks unconvinced but she holds her ground, "My mission was to determine whether or not you posed a threat to our plans. Bill, you stood in the cradle of life…the birthplace of the new generation of Cylons and…"

"And I was horrified."

"But you didn't understand the full significance of what you saw, nor were you able to convince the military to investigate the incident further." She can only remember seeing Bill this livid once before; the day she threatened to disappear with the boys if he dared to leave before their Solstice play that weekend. She apologized for that transgression, but not this one, "I know that it infuriated you to no end when the Fleet dismissed your warnings, but I won't lie and say I wish things had been different."

His vision turns red, like the bloody pool in that frakking chamber, his rage casts a tainted shadow, "If someone had listened to me, this whole war could have been averted!"

"No, Bill. If someone had listened…you'd be dead, and there would be nothing left of humanity today." She turns a sad, if not proud glance toward Lee and Kara, "And there certainly wouldn't be any hope for the future."

Lee leans forward, "How does one go from being an assassin to a wife?" His mother smiles coyly.

"Your old man can be damn charming when he chooses to be." Carol-Anne would give anything to see Roslin's reaction to that statement, but she forces herself to turn back to Bill. "You were so passionate in your beliefs…later I would realize that was just your stubborn streak, but at that time, it was alluring. You knew what it was to be a leader…the burdens you carry…the secrets you keep. All the things I loved best about you were the ones I could never confess we shared. But I was certain that no matter how much you loved me, you'd never be able to accept me." She shakes her head and sighs, sitting back in the arm chair, "Let's face it Bill, our marriage failed because we didn't communicate. Love was never an issue…whenever I doubted that, I looked at our sons and I knew."

"And yet, you say that having children wasn't part of your original assignment?" Laura knows that she should remain silent and dissociate herself from the personal history unfolding, but a mixture of duty and morbid curiosity propel her forward.

"Nothing could have frakked up the Cylon plan more." Carol-Anne smiles serenely at the Admiral, "Believe it or not Bill, marrying a cylon was the best thing you could have ever done to ensure humanity's survival." He quirks an eyebrow at that and she lets a meaningful gaze wander over to Lee.

Lee bristles at the attention and the underlying insinuation, "I find it funny that you think our dysfunctional family will be the salvation of all mankind, especially considering the impetus of it was me and I…" he releases a shuddering breathe, "…I was a mistake."

The most impermeable depths of Bill Adama's heart are breached by the toxicity of that last word. It strangles his voice, only allowing him to whisper his son's name in protest, "Lee."

"Don't." He can feel Kara squeezing his had, but he's in no mood for consolation and he's done with the pretense and lies. "Don't say it's not true Dad, because I know it is."

"Lee, you are a miracle."

He stares at his mother, at her sheer audacity and calls her out, "Bullshit!" He takes two strides, kneels down to eye-level, and nearly spits the words, "You're the one who told me exactly what I was, remember?"

Carol-Anne's body trembles with revulsion at the memory, "Lee, please?"

"I was eleven years old. Dad had just left after another one of your fights and you were on another bender. Zak cut his hand on one of your broken ambrosia bottles." She shakes her head and Lee grabs it, holding her still and pinning her with his hollow gaze, "You kissed his wounds and put him to bed, while I cleaned up the shards." There are hot tears cascading down her face, "Then you came back down stairs, knocked the dust pan out of my hands, and slapped me across the face."

Unbidden, the memory of that day is projecting before her with each of Lee's prompts and she begs him, "Stop."

"Funny…I remember asking you the same thing…but you didn't." Lee doesn't need to turn around to know Kara is on her feet and by his side; he gleans support from her presence and forges ahead. "When I tried to stand up, you shoved me back down and screamed that I was as useless as my father…always turning my back on the family when I was needed. You asked me why I wasn't watching Zak...why was I so lazy…how would I feel if Zak died of an infection?" Lee's throat is raw and he can feel acid churning further up his esophagus as the truth draws nearer, "I told you it was an accident, that I would never hurt Zak…and you laughed and said…" Lee nods at her to complete the memory, "What did you say Mother?"

"I was sick Lee…"

"It sounds like you were a drunken bitch," Kara's voice lashes out in a hot hiss, "but that's not what he asked you."

Carol-Anne closes her eyes and begs God for strength, but all she can see is her little boy cowering in the corner of their kitchen, brought to tears by her selfish need to transfer the emotional pain she couldn't cope with on her own. There's no absolution for the scars she carved into the heart of her first born, but when she opens her eyes, Carol-Anne concedes, at the very least, she owes him this public confession. She grips Lee's hands in each of hers and steadies her voice, "I said…_the only accident I see here is you._"

Lee nods, solemnly. In a strange way, he's proud of her for admitting it…for owning up to the person that she was. He's tired of pretending that everything in the past is forgotten and forgiven. If they truly want to bury their family sins, they need to acknowledge them. His father's voice breaks the strained silence, "Why didn't you tell me Lee?"

Lee turns to his father and unleashes brutal honesty, "Because you weren't there." Utter desolation stares back at him, "Mom wasn't always like that, and for better or worse, she was there for us." He can feel his mother's hopeful gaze on the back of his head, but he cannot face her yet. "Would you have believed me?" Lee holds up a hand to silence the protest on the tip of the Old Man's tongue, "I tried to tell you not 3 months ago, on your anniversary, and you didn't even want to hear it then." Lee gets to his feet and stands before his father, "As angry as I was at her for being a drunk, I resented you more for leaving us with her."

"Lee, your father's not to blame for the things I've done." In the years before her recovery and renewed faith, Carol-Anne Adama would have easily sloughed the responsibility onto Bill, but she simply cannot allow it today.

"Really? Why did you drink Mom? Tell me why? Because it seemed to coincide with every time he left."

What lingering love she carries for Bill Adama gives her the fortitude to step back into the line of fire, "I drank because I was weak. It's more complex than that, but I don't know that I can…"

"Why did you drink?" Kara's soft voice is colored with the bruises of her own abuse, "I mean you're a Cylon…you don't need food or water, so why the hell would you need booze!"

All eyes are firmly fixed on her and for the first time in her life Carol-Anne Adama feels like the monstrous Cylon that humanity has painted her to be. Redemption is a far-fetched dream, but it's the only thing she's got left to seek in life. "I drank because there was no other way to control the emotions overwhelming me. The sorrow and failure, the love and hate, all these feelings where there was no data to reconcile simply because…I'm not human. I am One and I'm a Cylon. A cylon can shut off pain receptors. I can withstand any physical torture imaginable," she meets Bills familiar blue eyes, "but the power you had to destroy me by walking out the door was not a variable I could solve for. So I stopped looking for a solution in the binary code of my cylon programming and embraced the idea that maybe, just maybe, there was a human way to stop the pain. So I drank and it helped." Carol-Anne laughs mirthlessly, "It made sense in a twisted way…my pain was human, and so was the cure. All the logic solving skills in the universe couldn't fix what was broken between us Bill. And I live every day with the knowledge that my alcoholism shattered the pieces of our family that were left behind."

Laura struggles to keep her voice objective, "When did you hit bottom?"

Carol-Anne meets the President's eye, "There are some wounds that no amount of alcohol can fill." She sees a slight fissure of pity grace Roslin's features, "Losing a child is one of them. It's been 5 years, 8 months, and 21 days since I had a drink. Every time I think about taking a sip, I think of Zak. I remember his soft brown eyes; the way he shone love and emotion so easily." She smiles at her remaining son, "He was the only one among us who could. I think of his sacrifice and it gives me the courage to say no."

Lee's tongue stumbles over the foreboding question, "Sacrifice?"

* * *

**Author's Note: This was an uncomfortable chapter to write, but I wanted explore the Adama family history and give you a more well-rounded representation of Carol-Anne. Comments? Questions? If yes, press the blue button and review…if no, well hit the blue button anyway because it's always encouraging to know you're all still alive out there!**


	28. Chapter 28

Spoilers- Speculation on some storyline rumors for 2nd half S3

Pairing-L/D, L/K

Disclaimers-I don't own these characters, Ron Moore does

**Author's Note: As always mad love for my reviewers from last chapter: Bowedbassgirl, time16, Aspect, Ellie, ddt73, alizaleven, Groovychick1980, and Uberscribbler (hugs).**

**If you've forgotten the end of the last chapter…there's are back buttons at the top and bottom...they're handy…or if you're lazy…I'll recap here.**

_Excerpt end of Chapter 27_

_Carol-Anne meets the President's eye, "There are some wounds that no amount of alcohol can fill." She sees a slight fissure of pity grace Roslin's features, "Losing a child is one of them. It's been 5 years, 8 months, and 21 days since I had a drink. Every time I think about taking a sip, I think of Zak. I remember his soft brown eyes; the way he shone love and emotion so easily." She smiles at her remaining son, "He was the only one among us who could. I think of his sacrifice and it gives me the courage to say no." _

_Lee's tongue stumbles over the foreboding question, "Sacrifice?"_

**Chapter 28**

Despite all the turmoil and fear that Lee felt upon learning he was the First, there was a soft voice whispering a single word of optimism, over and over…Zak. In the depths of Lee Adama's soul there was a traitorous part of him that wished for just enough Cylon DNA to allow resurrection…so that somehow, someway, Zak could be alive. For Lee, the question of 'sacrifice' morphs from a clarification of ominous meaning to an affirmation of loss.

Carol-Anne can see the fragile hope masquerading behind Lee's heated stare and she shakes her head slowly, knowing that she's taking Zak away from him forever and hating herself for it. She lets her gaze wander over the room stopping at Bill and Kara for added emphasis, "Zak's death was an accident, but it was also a portent…it marked a defining moment in the cycle of time."

"Hybrids don't resurrect?" There's a sad finality to Lee's question.

"You and Zak were born, not made. You're not a part of the Cylon network or consciousness." She studies her hand, as though the answer were written there like a crib sheet, but the pale skin staring back at her reinforces that they're entering into the territory of pure speculation. "Even if you were hard wired to the network, there are no bodies for you to download into...maybe if he…you…I don't know." Carol-Anne holds her breathe and tries not to think of the hundred and one scenario's she's dreamed of that could save her sons.

They're languishing off course and Laura pushes aside her sympathy to focus on the meaning, "You said that Zak's death was an omen. Does that mean you believe his death was preordained by your God?"

Carol-Anne draws on the memory of the eve of Zak's funeral, the destructive rage and the guttural screams, and her voice comes out hoarse and thick like that night long ago. "For the first time in my life, I questioned God? I asked him why? Why?" Her voice softens, but the muted pain prevents it from being inaudible, "I prayed for an answer, but God was silent as the grave I buried my baby in."

Bill watches a single tear drip down his ex-wife's face and his hand lets go of the arm chair, forgetting their audience and the years of hostility between them, he reaches out to her.

Without looking, Carol-Anne leans forward and captures Bill's fingers, clasping them tight. It seems the boys are still the one thing that can unite them. "I was never given a choice to believe in God. It was an imperative I couldn't escape." She chuckles darkly, "If losing Zak was a test of my faith, then I failed horribly, because in the end…I cursed God. I turned my back on him, only to find I had nowhere to go."

Zak's death made him cold and distant. He was purposely cruel to his father, and apparently, inadvertently so to his mother. There's a warm contrition in Lee's tone when he tells her, "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

"You weren't meant to be." Lee looks at her askance, "I told you that Zak's death was a turning point…I had to lose my way in order to find the path." Carol-Anne shakes her head at their quizzical stares. "If it wasn't for Zak's passing and my crisis of faith, I never would have turned to the Colonial Gods and scriptures for solace."

A trickle of excitement mixes with a dash of fear in Laura's bloodstream, "That's when you began hybridizing the scriptures of our two faiths?"

"Yes. By reading and combining the prophecies I began to see where our destinies would cross and the roles we would play." Carol-Anne can't stop her gaze from traveling around the room. "Leaders", Bill, "prophets", Laura, "deceivers", she casts her eyes down to her feet, "martyrs", after holding Kara's steely hazel eyes she detours to pay homage to the silver band on her thumb before concluding, "and saviors." The list ends with Lee's fathomless eyes staring deep into hers, challenging, willful, and frightened.

Lee is desperate to deflect her attention and delay the inescapable, "What about the other four?"

"They were already aligned with me long before Zak died." She smiles, almost feeling the bizarre tickle, "From the day you first fluttered in my belly, I knew I'd do anything to keep my child…my family…safe. The only problem was that I didn't know a damn thing about the Seven Siblings timeline. Other than a mother's protective instinct, I didn't have any real plan or a means to galvanize the others." Carol-Anne nods in deference, "Although, towards the end, I knew that each of them was slowly coming to understand, as I had, that the soul is housed in our humanity."

"Were they beginning to doubt God," unsettled but still engaged, Bill presses, "or the Cylon plan?"

Carol-Anne sends him an icy glare and continues, ignoring Bill's taunting. "I poured over volumes of ancient texts, searching for meaning, and despite the parallels and prophecies uncovered, I never found an answer. Not from _God _or _the Gods_. Nothing eased the suffering of losing a child…nothing explained why any God, human or Cylon, would inflict blind judgment on an innocent life? That was the question…the moment in which I realized that the Cylons had twisted God's message to suit their vengeful needs."

"You found your faith again." One meets her curious stare, and although they believe different things, Kara appreciates a kindred spirit of devotion.

"God is love. God is the father and mother of us all. If I could feel such agonizing torment over the loss of one child, what would God suffer when the Judgment came?"

"So why didn't you do something to stop it?" It's the question that's been seething below Laura's skin for days.

Carol-Anne holds Roslin's penetrating gaze, "Because that part of the story was already written. The knowledge I gained from the scriptures only pertained to events after the inevitable."

There's a grumble of thunder in Zeus's voice, "You could have tried."

"What good would've come from me exposing myself…hmm?" She points at him in sharp reminder, "No one would have believed me, Bill. For frak's sake, they didn't even believe you… one of their own officers! They would have locked me away in asylum or, if they happened to believe me, a lab. God only knows what they would have done to Lee!" Carol-Anne steeples her hands over her nose and takes a cleansing breath. "And all of that is assuming that the Seven Siblings never found out about the betrayal because if they did…and they would…it just would've accelerated their plans. I did the best I could in the given situation."

"You got the players on the board and put them into position."

"It wasn't nearly as easy as you're making it sound Bill, but I won't bore you with the details. If you're satisfied with the history lesson," she eyes Roslin keenly, "I think it best that we look to the future."

It feels like a spotlight is shining down on him from above. His palms start to sweat and the way they all turn slowly to look at him invalidates any allusions of subtlety. Lee clears his throat loudly, but it does nothing to diminish the self-deprecating grin infringing on his lips, "I guess that would be me?"

* * *

**Author's Note: Hello my lovelies! Woohoo…loving Season 4…even though it's trouncing my hopes for a Carol-Anne FF reveal. I still love it and it makes me more determined to tell my version of the story gosh darn it!**

**Fun fact: I planned on ending this chapter with Lee saying, "Where do we go from here?"…but when I read it back aloud…it came out like a song…like a 'Once More with Feeling' Buffy Musical song! After that I couldn't put it in because it kept making me giggle. **

**Hope you're still enjoying and always appreciative of reviews. Thanks for tuning in!**


	29. Chapter 29

Disclaimers-I don't own these characters, Ron Moore does

**Chapter 29**

In flight school they teach new pilots to consider themselves dead before they launch because life is distracting and the fear of losing it is the fastest way to self fulfill the prophecy. For over three years, Lee Adama has climbed up into a viper and checked his hopes for a bright shiny future at the bottom the steps because that dream is too heavy to carry into battle. Lee can feel the force of all his people, human and cylon, reflected in the four pairs of eyes trained on him right now; an avalanche of emotions and expectations. How is he supposed to lead them to salvation, when the weight of the world is sitting on his chest and he can hardly draw a breath?

Kara's always been able to read Lee's body language, but since her return from death, their nonverbal conversation abilities have been bordering on psychic. She can almost feel his claustrophobia as the path of the future barrels down on them. Kara breaks the awkward silence with a small cough to gather their attention, "I think we could all use a break before we continue." No one else catches the smile of gratitude that momentarily graces Lee's lips at her suggestion, but then again, they probably weren't meant to.

"Why don't we take 30 minutes to collect our thoughts and meet back here?" Laura looks to Bill for consensus and receives the barest nod in return.

"I think it best if we bring the others in for the next part." Carol-Anne feels the tension in the room wind taunt. Her voice breaks upon the point of incredulity, "I don't have all the answers. I've got key intel, but it's going to take all of us working together to develop a successful plan of action."

"We'll reconvene in the war room at thirteen hundred hours." Bill nods to his ex-wife, "All of us."

* * *

The Cavil's are watching him closely, but he's careful to keep his agenda quiet. It's no longer just about his angel, but the secrets she keeps. For the first time, Leoben saw something in the space between life and death.

Not God, but his choir of five in robes of white. Their faces are in shadow, indiscernible save for a flash of golden strands. It's not Kara…he knows all the honey shades of her hair. Who ever she is, he knows that he's seen a glimpse of her face before.

He places his hands in the data stream and calls up those last few seconds on Galactica's hanger deck. It costs him dearly to relive and project this memory. Every time the taste of defeat turns sourer and the trick of fate more maddening.

Kara is feather light in his arms and her unworthy lover is banging against the glass, serving only to widen his grin. A burst of white light illuminates the glass, a by-product of a weapon discharge, and as it fades, he can see shock in the blue eyes staring at him. Leoben slows the memory as the agonizing prick of the bullet laces the back of his head.

On review one hundred and seventeen he realizes that Adama's awe is not directed at him. Its five reenactments later when he first sees a whisper of gold in that blinding white pulse.

* * *

Five minutes tick by on the clock in the briefing room. There's still a little piece of tape commemorating the 33 minute mark and Lee yearns to recapture that simple time when his life was an endless string of adrenaline filled reactions. That hunger dissipates when Kara's hand settles on his knee. He's eternally grateful, that she knew he needed this…these precious minutes to recover and simply be Lee Adama; a man with no mission or destiny beyond his own choices.

In less than an hour, he'll have to give his life over to being the First, but when he threads his fingers through those of his Guardian the churning sea of doubt becomes a still pond. Only Kara Thrace can appreciate the gravity of what's coming because she's faced this challenge, this choice, before. "How did you know you were ready?"

She looks down at their hands, remembering that dark time before the fire and flame of rebirth, "I really believed that I didn't have anything left."

"I'm sorry." The lump in his throat feels like it's made of glass; it cuts deep when he swallows. "I didn't want to see your suffering because then I'd know that loving you isn't a choice, it just is. I wanted to believe the lies and the logic I spouted off beneath that viper. I didn't want to see that you needed me. You died because I was a coward."

Kara tilts her head back and sighs, "I died because I chose to."

"I should have been there for you."

"Lee…"

"No! You did this alone," he turns to look at her, slowly, "I can't imagine the strength it took to own that destiny…to become the Guardian. Every step of the way, you've been here with me…keeping me sane. Loving me, slapping me, fighting, or sitting in silence…just being here as I become the First." Lee cups her face, the angelic visage he watched explode into dust and begs for an answer, "How can you ever forgive me for letting you endure alone?"

"We used to be different people, Lee. Separate lives that were deeply entangled, but still apart. I had to burn away the past to accept my fate…including you," a bittersweet smile twists her lips, "especially you."

Sam's voice echoes through Lee's head, _'She loved you. In fact, you were the one thing that could have prevented her from achieving her destiny.'_ It seemed like an absurd statement at the time, but listening to Kara today only serves to validate Sam's speculation. "Is that why you asked me to let you go?"

"I was ready."

Her eyes are fathomless with certainty. She continues on, without prompting and Lee marvels at the openness between them.

"Strangely enough, just before, I took a trip down memory lane with my mother too…I watched her die. I saw the beauty that comes with completion and that's when I _**knew**_ that flying into the mandala would make me complete." Kara takes his hand from her face and grasps it tight, closing the distance between them until their noses are brushing one another, "And it did. There's no starting or end point between us anymore…there's no singularity." She closes the gap, kissing him soft and deep. She pulls back briefly to whisper the promise of the Gods across his lips, "You are my only…always."

"Is that a yes?" Her confusion is momentary and adorable for the entire 20 seconds it lasts.

His proposal seemed like days, rather than hours ago. She can tell by Lee's smile, that the answer was never in question, but she knows that he still wants to hear it. Kara draws back, pulling her hands from his, but never breaking his gaze. She tugs at the metal clasp until it gives and slides the ring off the chain.

Lee watches transfixed as she secures the silver band on his ring finger. He clasps their hands together, meets her smiling eyes, and repeats the only vow that matters. "You are my only…always."

* * *

**Author's Note: Hello kiddies! You didn't think I forgot about the proposal just because it was like 3 chapters and 2 months ago did you?? I needed to take a little breather this chapter before jumping into the big plan that will consume the final act, so I hope you're okay with the Lee/Kara interlude.**

**Sorry for the inconsistent posting…I've just been bummed lately and it's poisoning my muse. Did you know that muses are like fairies…if you clap (review) they can be revived…true story! Feed back is always appreciated. Thanks boys and girls.**


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